Jana: Emo Kid of Middle Earth
by MCR Lurver
Summary: Jana, your not so average emo kid, has found that she has fallen into Middle Earth. And the worst part is: she's been turned into a MarySue! As she tries to go along with the Fellowship, she must be careful not to let anything slip. Oh, too late.
1. The MarySues

I opened my eyes. Where the hell was I? And my head fucking hurt.

I sat up. It looked as though I was in a forest.

A very pretty forest, I might add.

I looked down at my hand, and nearly screamed. My black nail polish wasn't there. What the hell?

I had forgotten how my fingernails looked without polish on them. It was freaky.

I reached up to scratch my head (which still hurt like hell), and suddenly realized that there was more hair then there should have been.

I frantically looked over my shoulder, and nearly fainted. My hair was down to the center of my back.

"OH-MY-FUCKING-GOD!" I said to no one in particular. (Well, I was the only one there, anyway.)

I already missed my short hair. But at least my new hair was still black. But the tips weren't red. Goddamnit.

And then one horrible, horrible thought hit me: I've turned into a Mary-Sue!

This time I did scream.

But then another thought hit me: I must be in Middle Earth. Sweet! No, not sweet. I'm a freaking Mary-Sue!

I stood up. My butt hurt, too. I shuttered, and looked down at what I was wearing.

I let out a sigh of relief when I was that I was only wearing a blood red tunic and light brown traveling boots.

At least I wasn't in some elegant gown with my hair done up all fancy-like. Ugg!

I randomly decided that I had to start walking. I was about to, but I realized that I didn't know which direction to go in. Great.

And then, as in answer to my prayers, I saw smoke in the distance.

"Wow. That was lucky."

So I started walking towards the smoke. BIG MISTAKE…

About three hours later (well, it felt like three hours. I didn't have a watch.) I finally stumbled into a clearing.

Unfortunately, the clearing was filled with a camp full of Mary-Sues.

Before I had time to rush back into the shadows, I was spotted.

A slender Mary-Sue with big blonde hair glided over to me with a big cheesy smile on her face.

"Hi!" she beamed at me. Her teeth were white and perfect. Too perfect. It was scary.

"My name is Marsela! Are you new here?"

She was still beaming at me.

"Uh…Yeah…I'm new…Yeah…" I bumbled stupidly. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth closed?

"That's great!" she squealed. "A new friend!"

Everything she said was followed by an exclamation point. I could feel a bead of sweat forming on my forehead.

"Why don't you come over and sit with me!" the blonde said.

Before I could protest, she had grabbed my arm with her hand --- no, talon--- and was dragging me over to the fire.

Blondie was the Mary-Suest Mary-Sue I had ever seen.

Her hair bounced ever so slightly when she walked. Her eyes were a light blue color, and she had very long eyelashes. Like most Mary-Sues, she was wearing a nice dress. It was a rosy-pink one. And she had matching little slippers.

As I sat down on a log next to the fire, I looked at the rest of them.

They were all the same.

Red, blonde, and the occasional brown hair; nice dresses with matching slippers; light complexions; perfect teeth; bright blue eyes…

They were fucking perfect!

I had to get out of there.

Every time I moved even an inch, Blondie would grab my arm, and pull me back.

Great. I was stuck there.

So I did the only thing an emo-girl-turned-Mary-Sue could do: I zoned out.

After singing the whole "Black Parade" album under my breath, I felt a nudge in my ribs.

I turned to look at Blondie.

"Are you going to come with us?" she asked.

"Go where?" See where zoning out gets you?

"To Rivendel, of course!" she squealed. "To the Council of Elrond, silly!"

Oh, boy. If I knew one thing, it was there was no way in hell that any of these girls was ever going to be able to set foot in Rivendel.

"Are you?" Still beaming.

"Uh… Yeah, I guess," I said.

She let out an excited squeal. "Oh, goodie! This will be great, won't it!"

"Sure," I managed to choke out.

Get me the hell out of here!

I think I've set a new world record of how many times one can sing "Kill All Your Friends" to one's self. 506 times, to be exact.

That basically how the rest of the night went. I would sing MCR to myself, and the Mary-Sues would argue over the best way to get cute guys to be alone with them.

And did I listen? NO.

I can't believe that I'm actually saying this, but I actually want to go back to my normal life. Back to my dysfunctional family; my hellish school; my friends who slits their wrists.

At this thought, I looked down at mine. The deep cuts that have been there for five months were gone.

Soon Blondie was shoving an extra mat at me.

"Goodnight," she smiled sweetly.

"Night," I grunted back at her.

A few seconds after I lay down on my mat, Blondie spoke again.

"Oh, by the way, friend," she said.

Alright! Leave me alone already, bitch!

"I never asked what your name is!"

My name? _My name? _Okay. You've captured me, made me stare at your perfectness all night, I've had to listen to you plot about how to get Legolas to want to… well, you get it, and _then_ you ask me my name?

"Jana," I said.

She smiled at me, and said, "Goodnight, Jana."

GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!


	2. Rivendell, and Spiffy Elves

Morning came too soon.

I hadn't gotten that much sleep last night, and was still kinda freaked about the fact that I was surrounded my Mary-Sues, and even more so by the fact that _I _was Mary-Sue.

"Good morning, Jana!"

Oh, God. Shoot me now.

"Wake up, sleepy!"

I opened my eyes to see Blondie standing over me, still beaming.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Come on! Get up!" she said again.

"Get up for what?" I grunted.

"We have to do our make up, silly!" she giggled.

"Why?"

"Because we're going to see Elrond today!"

Yeah, right.

Well, let me get one thing straight with you, sister. #1, I don't have any make up, and #2, my make up would consist of black eyeliner, heavy black eye shadow, and almost white cover-up. And there's no way in hell that any of you have that.

"No," I said flatly.

"No?" she repeated, confused.

"No make up," I said, this time more forcefully.

"Alright! Suit yourself!" Blondie laughed. "Then you can help me with mine!"

Oh, great.

"Um, I'm not that good with make up," I said quickly. "I wouldn't want to make you look back.

Thank you, brain. And you bet my ass I would.

"Oh, okay! You can just watch, then!"

Oh, just what I wanted to do.

After about an hour of watching the Mary-Sues make themselves over, I felt ready to puke.

Can we just get moving already, bitches?

"Okay, girls!" Blondie called out. I guess she's like the leader of the Mary-Sues. Great. They have a leader. "Let's get going!"

Finally. We were moving. But moving slowly. The stupid bitches didn't want to get their dresses dirty. Oh, what a shame.

Meanwhile, I just stomped through the mud.

I just hung at the back of the party. The rest didn't really seem to notice me. Good.

But I knew that they would all be turned away once we reached Rivendel. I probably would be, too.

And then I would be stuck here in Middle earth. Wonderful.

And then I realized something. The only way I would be able to get back to regular Earth would be if I died.

Oh, joy. I get to look forward to killing myself. Well, not much different from back home, I guess.

More walking. We had been at it for hours. There was a good inch or two of mud on my boots, and the hem of my tunic was starting to get tattered.

Blondie says we should be there soon and--- oh! There we go! Spiffy Elven place!

Oh…Shinny…

No! Snap out of it! I'm not staying here. I'm going to be turned away with the rest of them. And I'm going to kill myself.

And look. We're at the gates.

I pushed my way through the crowd to get to the front.

Blondie was there talking to some guards. Some cute guards, I might add.

I wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying. But I was brought back to reality (wait. Is this reality or fantasy? Oh, screw it.) when Blondie started bawling because they wouldn't let her in.

And, following her lead, the rest of them started crying as well.

It was disgusting.

But then one of the guards noticed me. (Well, I'm kinda hard to miss to tell you the truth, seeing as I'm the only on not wearing a fancy dress and crying my eyes out)

He pointed a finger at me, and said, " Come with me. Milord has been expecting you."

And what did I do? I stood there and blinked stupidly at him, of course. "Ah, what?"

"Come." He motioned for me again.

I started moving forward after a few seconds. Come on, legs, move!

And suddenly I felt something sharp going into my back. It was Blondie.

"NO!" she screeched at the top of her lungs. "It isn't fair! I should be going! Not you!"

I turned to face her. "Get your hands off me, bitch."

"Excuse me?" Wow. I had offended her.

"You heard me," I growled.

She only dug her class deeper into my back.

So, again, I did the only thing I could do: I punched her face in.

Blondie fell backward, her nose streaming with blood.

I gave a little laugh, and went in after the Elf.

I heard her scream after me. "I hate you! You, little---"

"Love you too, hun!" I shouted back, and flipped her the bird before rounding the corner.

Man, that felt good.

As I caught up with the Elf, he turned to me and said, "Why were you traveling with them?"

"Don't know," I offered.

He eyed me for a moment. "Thank you," he suddenly said.

"For what?"

"Getting rid of them," he said. "I don't know why they keep coming. We've knocked off about 50 this week already. They seem to know something we don't…"

No! Don't say anything!

"But Milord has been awaiting your presence. Please, he wishes to meet with you."

"Um, alright," I said awkwardly as we passed out of earshot of the other guards. "Uh, about what?"

"Milord does not tell such things to his guards." Oh, this guy was good. But two can play at this game.

"You do not strike me as guard material," I said coolly.

"No?" He raised his eyebrows. It was hot. All right, yes, I'm a sucker for Elves.

"No. You seem… higher," I said, choosing my word carefully.

"Well, I must say that you are very clever." He stopped walking to look at me. "My name is Haldir. I was sent by Milady of the Woods. She has foreseen your coming to Middle Earth. She says that you are to have a key part in what is to come…"

Oh, great. Key parts in battles and angst filled scenes. Well, I've got news for you, buddy! I can't fucking fight!

"Oh," was the only thing I could think of to say.

He stared into my eyes for another moment. A very sexy moment…

"I take my leave," he said quietly. "Your room is at the end of this hall. I shall see you tomorrow, Milady." He bowed his head, and turned to leave.

"Wait!" I called. He turned back to look at me, cocking an eyebrow. Stop it with the eyebrows already!

"What of my meeting with Lord Elrond"

Haldir walked swiftly back to me. He got in close. Very close…

"He knows not of your presence. He shall learn of you tomorrow at the council."

"What?"

"As I have already said, Milady of the woods knows who you are."

"And she has not bothered to tell the Lord of Rivendel?" This time_ I_ cocked an eyebrow.

He flashed me a quick smile at me, and said, "Goodnight, Milady."

"Thanks for all the answers, buddy!" I called rudely after him. But I could have sworn that I heard him laugh.

I would sarcastically say "men" right now, but he's an Elf.

_Male Beings!_


	3. Watch Out for Flying Bread!

Thanks so much, Jag, for letting me know I've been misspelling! I have a bad habit of typing without checking my work. Curse you, fast typing!

Chapter 3:

You know what? It's not a good idea to leave me alone in Rivendell to think about what I'm doing.

I've already altered the plot line. You're not supposed to meet Haldir until after freaking Moria!

Goddamnit. What have I done?

Well, at this time, it was early evening, so I decided to take a walk around. Everything was there. The gardens, the paintings, the broken sword… This was too cool.

I mean, being an emo kid back home was tough. So watching "The Lord of the Rings" movies were my escape. And I would write fan fiction. I just never thought that I would be living my fics. Or living my fics as a Mary-Sue.

At that thought I started pacing. When I was with the rest of the Mary-Sues, I didn't feel so, you know… Mary-Sueish. But now that I'm by myself, I just feel plain stupid.

"I am not a Mary-Sue. I am not a Mary-Sue," I kept to repeating to myself as I walked back and forth. "I am not a Mary-Sue. I am not a Mary-Sue…"

"Um, excuse me---" came a voice from behind me. (Which, I might add, scared the crap out of me.)

I wheeled around, and screamed, "I AM NOT A MARY-SUE!" Then I turned and tried to run, but went straight into a pole instead.

Being me, I fell right back on my ass. "Ouch…"

"Uh, are you okay?" It was the voice again.

When I looked up, my jaw dropped. The voice belonged to Legolas.

Great. I was making a fool of myself in front of one of the cutest Elves ever!

I quickly jumped up, which startled him.

"I'm okay," I said forcefully. And, on cue, "I'm Not Okay" started playing in my head.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Yes…fine…" I muttered. I had to get out of there.

I suddenly started to walk swiftly away. Legolas looked as though he wanted to say something else, but I started to run.

Man, I must have looked like a total weirdo. Well, I was used to that already from back home. But this was different. I was in a dress and had long silky hair, and was in Middle Earth. This was not me wearing an MCR T-shirt with my short black and red hair at Middlestone High. Way different.

A couple hours later, there came a soft knock on my room door. I didn't particularly want company, but it was something different than laying on my head staring at the ceiling.

I opened the door, and --- oh! Look who it is! My ever-so-pleasant-not-Elven-guard!

"Ah, hi," I said after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"I brought you food," he said, shoving a platter at me.

"Oh. Have I missed dinner?" I asked.

"No," he said. "Dinner won't be starting for another 15 minuets. But if you come to dinner, Milord Elrond will notice you and---"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't be seen until the council. I get it."

"Okay, then." He shoved the platter at me again. "Goodnight, Milady."

I awkwardly took it as he walked away.

How was I supposed to tell the Elf that I had an eating disorder, and didn't want to Ralph all over the room they gave me? I don't mention it, of course.

But after a half an hour, I couldn't figure out what to do with the rest of the food. If I left it there, it would taunt me all night.

I was proud of myself because I had eaten a piece of bread with jam.

Now, what to do with the rest of it?

Well, I guess because I'm not on a nice streak, I can do whatever I want with it.

The answer?

Throw it out the window.

And that's exactly what I did. Man, it must have looked strange to anyone who was watching my food jump to its death.

As I threw my last loaf of bread out the window, I noticed that someone had stepped right where it was going to fell. Oh, shit.

The bread hit the figure square on the head, and it cringed.

"What the hell?" floated back up to my window.

The figure looked up, and I saw that it was Boromir. Wonderful.

I quickly ducked beneath the window, and tried to stifle my giggles.

Oh, boy, was I in for it tomorrow!


	4. The Council

Okay. Morning. Not as bad as yesterday. Thank God.

When I got out of bed, I found that another tray of food had been left near the door.

Oh, good, so Mr. Elf Man had been in my room when I was sleeping.

I decided that I shouldn't throw it out the window this time. I didn't want to hit any more unsuspecting Boromirs.

Well, I should probably eat something before I go to the council today. Again, bread with jam.

I like jam…

About an hour later, I was dressed, had eaten, and just about to try to do something with my hair when I heard a knock on my door.

I opened it, and there was my _favorite_ Elf.

"Are you ready, Milady?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Give me one second."

"One. Time's up," he said, smirking at me.

I only glared at him. Then I gave myself one final look over in the mirror, and we were off.

Well, I'm at the council. This is weird.

Haldir is sitting with the other Elves. I'm not even sitting next to him. He left a space between us.

And guess who plops his royal bottom there? Yep, you guessed it. Legolas.

I try my hardest to suddenly turn invisible, but that doesn't work.

Legolas turned to look at me. "Is your head alright from last night?" he asked.

I only stare at him, eyes wide. Come on, brain! Speak!

"Uh, yeah…fine," I choke out. "I'm fine."

"I did not see you at dinner," he commented lightly after a few seconds.

"Oh, I wasn't hungry," I said quickly.

"Oh."

I noticed that Haldir was looking at me with a faint smile on his face. Oh, good. He's playing matchmaker Elf now. Well, up yours, buddy!

Now the rest of the seats are starting to fill up.

I'm sandwiched between Gandalf and Legolas. How lovely.

And so the council began. And I zoned out…

I think it was when Boromir started his "take the Ring to Gondor" rant that I began to feel quezzie.

I started to feel lightheaded, and the world was spinning around my seat.

Legolas nudged me in the ribs. "Are you feeling alright?" he asked.

And then it let loose.

I turned quickly, and ralphed over the side of my chair.

"Milady! You are not well!" he exclaimed.

"No…I'm…good…fine…" I managed to choke out between spells of vomit. "I'm…okay…"

"No, you are not, Milady," he said more forcefully.

By this time, everyone had stopped, and were now watching me wretch into the bushes.

Damn bread…

Legolas got up from his seat, and put his hands on my shoulders. Apparently, he has the intention of removing me from my seat. Not gonna happen, buddy!

"Get…your…hands…off me…Elf…Boy!" I said.

I stopped wretching eventually. Eventually…

While just about everyone else and their second cousin were fussing over me, Legolas just sat there and looked miserable. Oh, and Haldir was rolling around in his seat, he was laughing do hard.

Soon, everything died down.

"Um, who is that?" I heard Elrond whisper to Aragorn.

"I'm not sure," he said back. They both looked at me. I smiled sweetly back at them, and they turned away. After that, I saw them exchange another look.

Oh, great. They think I'm a looney.

So I basically tune the rest of the meeting out.

And then I hear Frodo. Shit.

I look at Haldir, and silently ask him what to do. But he only looks blankly at me. No nodding of the head or slight movement of the lips. Great.

So everyone else gets up and does their little thing for Frodo. Sam comes bursting in, shortly followed by Merry and Pippin. Ah, how sweet.

I manage to catch Pippin's eye, and he gives me a smile. I grin back.

And then Haldir is standing up. No! No! Don't do anything stupid! Oh, too late. You're altering the plot line. Perfect.

"Milord Elrond," Haldir started in. Oh, boy. Here comes my doom.

"This is Lady Jana." Oh, God, shut up, you stupid Elf! "I wish that she travel with the halfling and his companions."

"And why should she do that?" Elrond said, cocking his head at me. He still looked disgusted. Well, I'm sorry if I've offended you with my pukeing, buddy, but I didn't ask for this!

"Milady of the Woods wishes it." Man, Haldir was fast.

"Then why does she not travel back with you tomorrow, Haldir?"

Oh, didn't see that one coming now did you, Mr. Elf?

"She is not well. Can you not see that, Milord?"

Thanks, captain obvious.

"True," Elrond said. "How far do you mean her to go?"

"At least to the woods of Milady," Haldir said. "But if the halfling wishes that she continues with them, so be it."

"Can she fight?" Elrond prompted.

_Gulp_.

"Yes, Milord."

Elrond looked as though he was lost in his own little world for a moment. "Very well, then. You are to join this quest, Lady Jana."

Wow. He actually said something to me. I'd began to wonder if they had forgotten that I was even there.

Haldir nudged my foot, and I stood to join the rest.

Now I _really_ feel like a Mary-Sue. Perfect.

Oh, and remind me, next time Haldir gets close to me to murder him.

I send a nasty look back his direction, and then feel a tug on my arm. It was Pippin. He gave me another smile, which I returned.

I saw his face turn pink, and he looked away. Okay, so I'm not used to being this pretty.

And then I noticed something. I'm closer in height to the hobbits and Gimli then to the men.

I was always short. I'm 16, and still look like I'm 8.

Great. So, now what else am I? Vertically challenged, fighting challenged, people challenged, food challenged, and… Well, I can't think of anything else right now, but I'm sure there's something.


	5. Explosion

**Author's notes: I know I've been updating a ton already today, but I have good reason for it. I am sorry to say that I will be away from a computer for 8 days (the horror!) starting this Friday (the 10****th****). I am going to visit my aunt, and will have no time to update. Sorry, guys. But I will be writing in my notebook the whole time. **

Chapter 5:

"You awful asshole," I whispered in Haldir's ear.

The council had just finished up, and Haldir said that he was taking me somewhere. Oh, goodie.

"Peace, woman! Peace!" he shoots back.

I explode.

"You tell me to be at peace? You know what, buddy? You've just turned me into the BIGGEST Mary-Sue of all time!"

He stopped. "A what?"

"Never mind," I said, pushing past him. Then I stopped. "Where are we going?" 

Haldir shook his head, and muttered something under his breath that sounded like "If she survives this, I'll throw myself into Mount Doom…"

Gee, thanks, buddy.

"Okay… So you brought me to a courtyard because…?"

"Patience," Haldir snapped at me.

I folded my arms across my chest, and shot him a nasty look.

So, we just stood there for a while looking stupid. An Elf dressed in a green robe, and a girl in a mud covered tunic. Yeah, very stupid.

And then look who shows up. Yep, you guessed it again. My other _favorite_ Elf.

"Haldir," he said, coming over to shake his hand. "Milady," he turned towards me, bowing his head.

"Legolas, this is Lady Jana," Haldir started.

"Yes," Legolas cut in, "We have met."

"I would hardly call time at the council enough to meet someone," Haldir said.

"No. I had the pleasure of meeting her last night."

Haldir raised an eyebrow at me. I gave him the finger from behind Legolas's back. Gutter brain Elf…

"Is she to be trained in the way of the bow or the knives," Legolas asked. He seemed rather bored, like he did this everyday.

"WHAT?" I spluttered. They ignored me.

"The bow, I think," Haldir said, finally looking at me. "Can you handle that?"

He was really pushing my buttons today, wasn't he?

"Oh, you listen, and you listen good, buddy-boy," I nearly screamed at him. "I cannot fight! And the last time I picked up and bow and arrow, I shot myself in the hand!"

Bother Elves seemed stunned.

"Short temper, this one," Legolas said after a few seconds.

"Jana, _you_ listen this time," Haldir said to me. "You will learn how to use a bow. And Legolas is going to reach you."

"Why can't you teach me?" I protested.

"Because I take my leave tomorrow," he said simply.

"You're just going to leave me here?" he was so in for it.

"Yes," he said coolly.

"But you can't do that!"

"Yes I can," he retorted. "I am needed back in the woods. But Legolas will train you well. He is very skilled with the bow and arrow. Oh, and Aragorn will teach you to use a sword."

"The sword I'm okay with," I huffed, "But if I shoot someone and kill them, it's your fault." I glared at Haldir. He glared back.

"I leave you to your practice, Milady," he said coldly.

Oh, great. I've pissed off Mr. Elf. Well, what else is new?

"Bye to you too, asshole," I hissed under my breath.

Then I turned to Legolas. "So, where do we begin?"


	6. Wow, I can actually fight

Oh. My. God.

Legolas is a sucky teacher. Aragorn isn't much better. But I am getting good with a sword. And I haven't shot myself yet. I guess that's a plus.

"Now, try it again," Aragorn said, tossing my sword back at me.

I grumbled at him for about the 1000th time this morning.

"Do it again," he said more forcefully.

I took up my stance, and turned to face Aragorn. I moved first, and he met my stroke in midair. He tried to kick my feet out from under me, but I jumped back, out of his reach. Then I jammed my elbow back, and made contact with something.

I turned to see Aragorn doubled up on the ground, clutching at his gut. I kicked his sword out of his reach.

"Good," Aragorn panted from his position on the ground.

I heard clapping behind me. I turned around to see Boromir standing at the entrance to our courtyard-turned-practice-area.

"Brilliant," he said, eyes gleaming. "I never knew a woman could fight like that."

"I bet you didn't even know a woman could fight," I muttered under my breath.

Legolas laughed softly. Damn those Elf ears.

"Let me have a go," Boromir said, advancing towards us. "Let me show you how a true Gondorian fights." He threw a nasty look towards Aragorn, who would not meet his gaze.

"Suit yourself," Legolas said. "But she can fight better than most Men of this age. And she has only been training for not yet two weeks."

"You exaggerate, Master Elf," I said, giving him a nasty look of my own.

Boromir drew his sword. I lifted mine from the dirt where it had fallen.

And then match was on.

I used a high blocking maneuver for his first few attempts. I think he was going easy on me. That was, until I cut his arm.

He lashed out at my legs, and I easily jumped over his blade. He tried the same thing again. This time I took advantage of the absence of his sword, and aimed a kick at his chest.

Boromir fell flat on his ass. I kicked his sword away, and placed a foot upon his chest. Thank god I was wearing pants.

"The battle is mine, Milord," I said coolly.

I removed my leg, and offered him a hand up. He accepted gladly.

Then there came a large amount of applause. I turned to see all of them standing there: Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, and the hobbits.

Boromir's face flushed pink. But I thought he was being a good sport about it, seeing as he had just been beaten by a 16 year old girl who had just been dropped in Middle Earth.

I see Pippin smiling. Maybe it was me, but he seemed to be clapping the hardest.


	7. The Stars and Boromir

**Author's Notes:**

**Sorry, guys, but I'm leaving tomorrow. I might have time for another quick update in the morning, though. So, please, don't be disappointed when I don't update for 8 days. Thanks so much!**

Chapter 7:

It is dinner. We leave tomorrow at first light. All of us are nervous; even if we don't show it.

I think that my training with Aragorn and Legolas went fairly well. I am good with my sword, and I can shoot something if it has the intention of killing me, I suppose.

But there was one time when I almost shot Aragorn. It wasn't my fault, really. Boromir startled me by yelling, "Don't miss!" right before I released the arrow. It was pretty funny, though.

Tonight I am sitting between Merry and Pippin. They really are the sweetest people I have ever met. And they are so dependant on one another. It is hard to talk about one without mentioning the other.

I didn't eat much at dinner. But the hobbits are happy to eat my food as well as their own. They must eat about twice their body weight each day. To tell you the truth, it's a little disgusting to think about how much they eat. But, then again, that's coming from someone who hardly ever does.

It's early in the morning now. The son has not yet risen, but I am wide-awake.

We are to leave in a couple of hours. And I feel ready to puke up the small amount of food that I did manage to eat.

So I went about gathering my few belongings: My sword, my blankets, and my bow and arrows. I stuffed my blankets and arrows into my pack. The sword and bow I left on the bed.

Because I have nothing better to do, I decide to take a walk.

I walk to my favorite garden, and plop myself down on a bench.

The air is still chilly, so I wrap my think cloak around my body.

I look up at the few remaining stars. Everything is quiet. To quote Gandalf, "The deep breath before the plunge."

I don't know how long I had been sitting there for. An hour, maybe?

I was startled when I heard a voice behind me, "The stars are fading."

I must have jumped a mile. I turned to see Boromir standing behind me. I didn't know he could be that quiet.

"You startled me," I said. I was thankful that it was dark, or he would have seen me blushing bright red.

"I noticed," he said, smiling.

He moved to sit down next to me. "Tell me, Jana, where do you come from?"

"England," I said without thinking. Oh, brain, you are going to get it!

"England," he repeated. "I've never heard of it."

"It's in the north," I said quickly. That was sort of true, I guess.

After a moment he said, "You fight like you are from Gondor."

I turned to look at him. "Do I?"

"Yes," he said. "You fight for honor. That is good."

I looked back up at the sky. We sat there like that for a long time.

"Are you cold?" he asked suddenly.

I turned to him. Had he moved closer, or was that just me being paranoid?

"No, I'm fine," I said, giving him a warm smile. "'Tis nearly dawn."

"Yes," Boromir said. "We leave soon."

"I must go and gather my things," I said quickly. "Excuse me, Milord." I gave him one more smile, and went back to my room.

I felt hit gaze still on me until I rounded the corner, and had passed from his sight.

As I entered my room, I was still thinking of something that Boromir had said to me. "The stars are fading…"

I began to think of myself like a star. They fade. My memories of my life before were starting to fade. I could no longer picture my friends' faces.

Silent tears poured down my face and onto my bed.

Sorry that this chapter wasn't very funny. We all need a break from it sometime, right? Well, actually, no… but, whatever. Hope you people still like it. 


	8. Attack of the Hobbits

Author's Notes: Okay! Okay! I really need to step away from the computer now! But I wanted to leave it on a funny note before I go.

Chapter 8:

We left Rivendell about a day or two ago. Everything's gone fine so far. No more plot changes (except for me, but I can't help that now…). Everyone seems happy.

But they don't know anything about the birds that are headed towards us right now.

So there it was. The perfect little scene. Boromir was teaching the hobbits to use their swords; Legolas was doing target practice, and Gimli and Gandalf were watching him; Frodo and Sam were eating.

I was perched on a rock watching the hobbits duel with Boromir. Boromir was starting to show off because he had an audience. I will NEVER understand men…

Aragorn wandered over and sat with me. "You should be teaching them," he said with a small grin.

"I'm not that good," I said, tearing my eyes off Boromir.

"But you are a fast learner," he commented.

I grunted at that, and looked over my shoulder for about the 10th time in as many minuets.

"Why do you do that?" Aragorn asked me. "Look over your shoulder?"

"Uh…" I started, but then quickly turned my attention back to the hobbits, and shouted, "Move your feet!" Oh, great. I was a line stealer now. Very Mary-Sue.

And then Boromir cut Pippin's hand by accident. The hobbits dropped their swords while he stammered over an apology. But the hobbits didn't give up that easily. They started kicking Boromir in his shins, and then tackled him. Who knew he would be so ticklish?

"You should probably go save him," I said to Aragorn.

He sighed, and as he got up he said, "'Tis a sad day when a captain of Gondor needs saving from two unarmed hobbits."

I laughed, and watched as he strode over and attempted to pick Merry and Pippin up off of Boromir. But that didn't really work, seeing as they had tackled him, too, only an instant later. How come guys are so ticklish?

I laughed even harder as Aragorn tried to convince them to have peace talks.

Boromir was now rolling on the ground in fits of laughter.

"Jana!" he managed to choke out, "Jana, come join the fight! We need allies!"

"Ah, what the hell?" I said to myself as I rushed over to join them.

I took a diving leap at Merry, and managed to send him flying. We rolled in the dirt for a few seconds before we both sprang right back up.

I somehow managed to lift Pippin off of Aragorn, and then dropped the squirming hobbit next to me.

But then I was tackled from behind the same moment Merry jumped onto Aragorn's shoulders. I rolled over in the dirt to face my attacker, and was surprised to see that it was Boromir. He promptly sat on me, and said, "This time, the battle is mine, Milady."

"What?" I cried, outraged. "Why are you attacking me? You called me in for back up!"

"I changed sides," he said lightly.

"You would abandon your king in battle?" I said, trying hard not laugh.

Well, if it saves me from getting my ass kicked by two hobbits, then, yes."

And suddenly out perfect little scene is ruined by the entrance of the birds.

Aragorn yells at everyone to hide.

I dove into the bushes with Merry and Pippin. Pippin looked terrified, so I took his hand in mine, and said, "It's alright. They won't see us."

He gave me a nod, and snuggled closer to me. I wrapped my arms around him, and Merry moved closer on my other side.

Soon the birds were gone, and we somehow managed to extract ourselves from the bush that we were hiding in. The hobbits still looked a little shaken, but they would recover.

I can only hope that I can recover from this. I still can't believe I'm a Mary-Sue. God, help me!


	9. A Shit Load of Snow

I like snow. I really do. But not this much snow.

My boots are soaking wet from trudging through this stuff. And I can't feel my feet any longer.

We're making our way up the mountain in our little line. Suddenly Frodo stumbled behind me. I saw him roll back down about 10 feet until Aragorn caught him. Frodo reached up to where the chain with the Ring would have been, only to discover that it wasn't there. Oh, what a surprise!

Boromir, who was directly behind me, reached down and picked it up.

My stomach felt like it was trying to do a black flip, but had tangled itself into a knot. _Must not interfere… _

"Boromir," Aragorn said sharply, "give the Ring to Frodo."

He looked at it for another second, and then handed it to the hobbit.

Boromir turned and looked at me. I could tell the Ring was already taking its toll on him. I could see fear in his eyes.

He brushed roughly past me, and went up to walk near Gimli.

I do feel bad for the hobbits. I think I would loose the last bit of dignity that I have if Aragorn or Boromir attempted to carry me up the mountain.

Gimli and I hang towards the back. At least we're smart, and let the others clear the way. Besides, the snow is nearly up to our heads.

Legolas walked by us. That's another thing I hate about Elves. They get to walk on the snow, not through it.

Suddenly, we all hear a voice on the wind. Oh, shit.

I grab Boromir, who is holding Merry and Pippin, and throw him against the said of the mountain. I do the same with Gimli. Luckily, Aragorn follows my lead.

"What the hell has gotten into---" Gimli started, but there was a loud _bang_ over out heads, and a shit load of snow fell on top of us.

So this is what it feels like to be buried under snow. It's not that fun, actually. Just cold.

I manage to pull myself up, and start digging Boromir and the hobbits out.

When I tried pulling Gimli out, I nearly fell off the side of the mountain. Luckily, Pippin was there to grab me.

"Thanks," I said, smiling at him.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"Am I cold?" I laughed. "It is you who should be cold, Pippin. You don't have any shoes!

"Well, I suppose they wouldn't make shoes big enough for hobbits, anyway. Our feet are huge." We both laughed. I saw Boromir send Pippin a nasty look. Was he jealous of a cold little hobbit without any shoes? 

Sam was still stuck in the snow, so I went over to help him. I heard Frodo, Gandalf, and Gimli start talking about where to continue. I tuned it out, knowing what was going to happen.

I finally managed to free Sam of the snow. "Many thanks, Milady," he said, brushing himself off.

"Don't call me that!" I said, waving my arms. "My name is Jana. Use it."

Sam smiled at me. "Whatever you say." He tottled off to stand next to Frodo.

"We shall go through the mines," I heard Frodo say. Damn.

Now we have to walk all the way back down the mountain. Oh, goodie. Maybe I'll just slide on my bud and save some time. It'll earn me some strange looks, but hey, I think I'm used to that already.

**Author's Notes: Yay! I'm back from vacation! I got to see the King Tut exhibit in Philly, so that was cool. I was writing every chance I got for the past week, so I'll be updating more this week. I think school starts for me in two weeks, so I'll only be able to update on weekends after that. I play soccer, and don't get home until five, and then I'm up until ten doing homework. Damn you, school. **


	10. Pimples and Ponies

Sam looks about to cry. He has to let Bill the pony go. I'm going to miss the little guy. He's so cute!

We've been walking for a day or so. Everyone's grumpy, and we all look like shit. Except for Legolas. Did I mention I hate Elves?

I peered at myself in the water. Yep, very shitty. My hair is tangled around my face. I got dirt smudged all over my cheeks. And to top it off, I've got a pimple in the middle of my forehead.

Wait… a pimple?

"Oh, my God," I muttered to myself. "I've got a pimple. Wait… I've got a pimple! I've got a pimple!" My voice had risen, and I was starting to laugh.

Merry wandered over to me. "I've got a pimple," I told him gleefully.

"I don't see how that's such a good thing," he said with a shrug.

I stopped laughing. "I've got a pimple. Goddamnit."

Merry shook his head, and wandered off to find Pippin and Sam.

"Well, at least I'm not a complete Mary-Sue," I said to myself.

"What?" It was Boromir. "Didn't catch that. Uh, you do know that you have a pimple on your forehead?"

"Yeah," I grunted, and tried to pull my hair over it.

"I do not think that this is a good idea," he said, turning to look at Gandalf and Frodo.

"Hmm…" I said. I was still distracted with my hair. "Wait until you see what it's like on the inside."

"Inside?" he asked.

Oh, shit. What have I done? "Uh, yeah. Gimli said it's supposed to be nice." Smooth, brain, smooth…

Boromir only looked at me. "Are you cold?" he asked after a few seconds.

"What the HELL?" I said. "Why does everyone keep asking me if I'm cold?"

He shrugged.

"I know," I said bitterly. "It's because I'm a woman, isn't it? All you _men_ want to protect me! Well, I don't need protecting, buddy! I can take care of myself!" I got up and stormed away. Boromir only sat there, staring after me. He tends to do that a lot, doesn't he?

All right, so maybe I overreacted a bit. Okay! Okay! I DID overreact. But I have a good reason for it. I look like shit, I do NOT want to be here, and I have a freaking pimple on my forehead!


	11. I Hate Elves

I'm watching Merry and Pippin throw stones into the water. I desperately want to tell them to stop, but I can't. That's Aragorn's line.

Sam and I are finishing up making everyone dinner. We cooked bacon.

You know what? The only thing better in the world than chocolate is bacon. Yum…

But we did burn it a little. We're just nervous about seeing what's inside. Well, they're nervous about that, anyway. _I'm _freaking about the Watcher. I've got to try and fight it, and not let I get me.

Impossible, right?

And so Frodo and Gandalf finally manage to get the doors of Moria open.

We start to pile in, and everything plays out exactly like it should, yeah, yeah, yeah…

And then the watcher strikes. It grabs Frodo's leg and pulls him backwards.

The rest of the hobbits freak out, while Gimli, Legolas, Aragorn, and Boromir charge forward, weapons raised.

A stay rooted to the spot for a moment. Then, in a near trance state, I reach for my sword.

Then it hits me. Frodo is about 20 feet in the air and about to die. Sam, Merry, and Pippin are trying to help the others, but are only putting themselves in danger. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

And suddenly I run straight at the Watcher. I start hacking at one if its tentacles. It takes two or three good whacks before I sever it. I continue this until the Watcher drops Frodo.

Then the doors start to crumble, and we all rush back inside. Damn. Now we're trapped in here.

Looking around, there was nothing but dwarf skeletons. It's just about the creepiest thing I've ever seen. They're all gross and mangled, most still with arrows in them.

We started walking about three hours ago. We haven't stopped to rest until now. Gandalf can't remember which way to go.

We've decided to sleep here for the night. I'm sprawled out on my blankets on the ground between Merry and Pippin. They're been telling me stories about the Shire for a long time.

When pippin finished the last one, we both looked to see Merry fast asleep.

Pippin put a finger to his mouth, and I stuffed a fist in mine to stop myself from giggling uncontrollably. We share a fit of silent laughter, and start rolling around on out blankets. Then we smashed out heads together by accident, and broke into loud laughter.

Legolas sends us a look, and shakes his head. I heard him muttering something under his breath, but I couldn't tell what he was saying.

We finally stopped laughing. The amazing thing was that we hadn't woken Merry up.

I flopped back down on my blankets, and pippin did the same.

"Best be 'getten some rest now," he said smiling at me. "'Night, Jana."

"Goodnight, Pip" I yawned, then rolled over on my side.

I heard a disgruntled noise from behind me. It was Boromir.

"_What_?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he said, waving a hand at me. "Go to sleep, Jana. You'll need all the rest you can get."

I looked at Boromir for another moment. He seemed annoyed at me. What? If I touched his hobbit, I activated guard dog mode on him? Or was he just jealous of the attention?

"Jana! Jana, wake up!"

I opened my eyes and sat blot up right. I was going to kill whoever just woke me up.

I turned to see Pippin clutching my arm.

"What is it?" I asked him, rubbing my eyes.

"There's…There's something down there." He pointed to the chasm below us.

"Oh, it's just Gollum," I said, without thinking (again).

"Gollum?"

"Yeah. You know, the creature that Bilbo got the Ring from."

"Oh, yeah,' Pippin said, giving me a small smile. He was silent for a moment. "Will he come up here?"

"No," I said, giving him a smile of my own. "He shouldn't bother us."

"Are you sure?" Pippin asked, looking back at the chasm.

"You know what? I'll keep watch, just to make sure. Now, you get some sleep, alright?"

He smiled again, and lay back down on his blankets.

I watched him for a while. He looked so peaceful, sleeping.

I must have nodded off, because when I felt a hand on my shoulder, it scared the crap out of me.

I whirled around to see Legolas. "What the hell did you do that for?" I demanded.

"Sorry," he said,

I went on cursing for a few minuets, and then asked, "What do you want?"

He blinked at me, and then said, "I have to ask you something?"

"Well, I kinda figured that out, Elf-Boy," I said. "Didn't figure you that came over to see if I'd like a bagel and coffee."

He blinked at me again. "What?"

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Just ask your question and go away."

"How do you do it?" he asked after a brief pause.

"Do what?"

"You know things," he said, looking at me.

"Yeah," I grunted. "I know one thing: If you don't leave me alone soon, there'll be no more _you_ left to bother me."

"No," he said. "You told the hobbit that Gollum was down there. And you didn't even get up to look."

"I looked before," I said, avoiding his gaze.

"No, you didn't. I've been on watch all night, and you haven't moved from your blankets."

There was nothing I could say to that. So I avoided it all together.

"_Goodnight, Legolas_," I growled, then rolled back over.

I heard him get up and move away, grumbling about me. I gave him the finger, but he probably didn't see it.

I saw Pippin open his eyes. "Is everything alright, Jana?"

"Yeah," I said. "Everything's fine."

He shifted his blankets close to mine, and cuddled up beside me. I reached over and stroked his hair until we both fell asleep.


	12. In the Mines

"Ah, it's that way," I heard Gandalf say. You know, I could have saved us the time and pointed out the right way in the first place. But, hey, I'm not one to pass up a chance to sleep.

So we gathered our things, and started down the passage. It's dark. The only light comes from Gandalf's staff.

I guess I can picture what Moria looked like before. Gimli's rambling about all the food we're going to be eating shortly. Hate to break it to ya, Gimli, but we won't be seeing your friends any time soon. Just orcs.

We continue walking. No one wants to talk. Merry and Sam are walking very close to me. And Legolas keeps giving me weird looks.

I try to avoid his gaze. But it doesn't really work. I can feel his eyes on me from behind. Well, at least it's not Boromir for once.

And then Gimli sees the tomb.

"Gimli! No!" Gandalf shouts, but the dwarf charges forward anyway. The rest of us follow.

Gimli droops to his knees and starts to cry. Well, I think he's crying, anyway.

I drop down next to him. "Oh, Gimli, don't cry," I said, trying to be comforting. But he kept it up, and then started sobbing harder. "Gimli!" I snapped. All right. I was done trying to be nice. "Stop this right now." He did stop, and looked up at me. "You sound like a dying moose," I said simply. He only stared at me. So I got up and walked away.

I had completely forgotten what was going to happen next. I was brought back when Pippin knocked the skeleton into the well, and Gandalf started yelling at him Poor Pippin.

The drums start. And so does the freaky chattering.

Boromir rushes forward to the door and sticks his head out. About 10 arrows come whizzing in his direction, and somehow none hit him.

"They have a cave troll," he said. I don't know why, but I started laughing. They all stared at me.

Then Aragorn and Boromir attempted to block the door.

"Jana," Aragorn called over his shoulder, "Guard the hobbits."

"No," Boromir said. "Gandalf will do that. She will fight with us."

The two men glared at each other, until Aragorn said, "Fine! Let her fight."

I stared at them both, eyes wide. Me? Fight?

"This is not real," I said to myself. "Not real. I am going to wake up any second now. This is just a dream."

"I hate to break this to you,' Gandalf said, whipping out his staff, "but you are not dreaming, Milady. This is real."

I whirled around. "DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I screamed.

"Thank you, Gandalf," Boromir said. "Now she'll really fight like she means it."

I started cursing Boromir under my breath, and pulled out my sword.

The hobbits were cowering behind Gandalf, attempting to look brave. I caught Merry's eye. "Be strong," I said to him. He nodded, and looked back at the door, which was being hammered on by orcs.

And then the door broke. A shit load of orcs flooded into the room. The battle had begun.

I guess it was a good thing that Gandalf had pissed me off. Now I can take me anger out by killing orcs.

I charge forward, and stick my sword into an orc. It squeals, but I only thrust my sword deeper into its chest. Then it keels over.

I pull my sword out of the body. And then I made the mistake of looking down at it. There's a dark red liquid running down the side of my sword. My world started spinning.

"Watch out, Lass!" I hear from behind me. I turn to see another orc charging at me. But Gimli comes flying out of nowhere, and sticks his axe into its back.

And then I realized that I had to keep going. I was fighting for my life, and for the lives of the rest of the fellowship.

Jab. Kick. Stab. Punch. Repeat.

This is how I basically learned to deal with the orcs. None of the moves that Aragorn taught me does shit for these guys. There just mindless orcs. It'll be a better fight against the Uruks. They're smart. That is, if I survive this first.

There's about six orcs swarming on me. I've been forced to back up, until I collided with Boromir. We're fighting back-to-back, and it's working pretty well.

I'll kick an orc in his direction, and he'll stab it. Then he'll whack his sword across another's chest, send it over to me, and I'll finish it off. We make a good team, Boromir and me.

After about a half an hour or of fighting, the orcs are starting to retreat. That's good. No. That's bad. Frodo's about to be stabbed by the troll.

Legolas takes the troll down with a couple of arrows, and some help from the hobbits.

The rest of them rush over to Frodo, while Sam and I finish off the rest of the orcs. Sam's actually pretty cool. I mean, how many people do you know who go around smashing in orcs' faces with a Super-Uber-Fryingpan-of-Doom? Oh, sorry. I'm rambling, aren't I? Back to what's happening.

So everyone's crowded around Frodo. Sam rushes over to join them. I'm starting to feel really bad about being here. What if I get someone killed?

I glance over to see Frodo getting up. He's okay. Thank God.

Then we hear more drums. Goddamnit. We start running again.

Soon we reach the stairs that have the huge gaping holes in them.

Did I mention I'M SCARED OF HIGHTS?

Legolas jumps first. He makes it look easy. Damn elf. Then Gandalf. Boromir goes after with Merry and Pippin in his arms. He turns and motions for me to come. I stay rooted to the spot.

"Jana, you must jump!" Boromir shouted at me. "Now!"

"There's no way in HELL you're going to get me to jump over there!" I shouted back.

Then, suddenly, someone pushes me from behind. It was a good push, because it got me over the gap.

I let out a little scream as I was suddenly airborne. Luckily, Boromir and Legolas caught me. I whirled around to see Gimli smirking at me.

"Fuck you, Gimli," I said.

"Lass's got spunk," he said. Then Aragorn picked Sam up and threw him over to us. Then he turned and attempted to do the same with Gimli. "No one tosses a dwarf!" Gimli snapped, and tried to jump over himself.

I took great pleasure in grabbing his beard and pulling him up.

Then Aragorn and Frodo ride the crumbling stairs over to us. And we're off.

Running, running, and more running. My legs are starting to feel like Jell-O.

When I see Gandalf stop, I try not to look back. Oh, too late.

After I almost step off the edge, I decide that I should probably watch where I'm going. When I find a safe place to stand, I turn just in time to see Gandalf fall.

My world goes fuzzy. I can hear Frodo screaming, but he sounds far away.

We have to get out of there before the rest of the orcs get us.


	13. Puke and Orcs

I don't feel anything. No pain. No loss. Nothing.

Gandalf is gone. I knew he would be. I just never expected that it would hit me like this.

Gandalf's death is hitting the hobbits the worst. I'm snuggled up with Merry and Pippin on some rocks. They're bawling their eyes out, while I'm trying hard not to. Frodo and Sam are sitting a little way away from us. They're crying, too.

Gimli and Legolas are off on their own. Gimli's crying, but I don't know if he's crying for Gandalf or his family. Legolas isn't. Elves are too cool to cry, right?

Aragorn doesn't seem bothered in the least bit. He's cleaning the orc crap off his sword. I probably should, too, eventually.

Boromir wandered over to us. He's been vomiting in the bushes for a while.

"We must not stop here," I said quietly. He looked at me, then turned away. I could tell he had been crying.

"Come now, Merry," I said, gently picking the hobbit up into a sitting position.

I helped Aragorn gather the other, much to the displeasure of Boromir.

Boromir seems a little distant with me lately. I'm not sure why. He also watches me constantly. I see him looking at me when he thinks I won't notice.

We've been walking for an hour or so. I'm surprised that the hobbits have any years left to cry.

I feel like I'm walking through a thick cloud. I don't really see where I'm going. I've walked into just about everyone once. And I feel like I'm about to puke.

We've stopped to take a break. I sat down next to Gimli. "Let's get some food out," he grunted.

"No," Legolas said. "We have not time for food."

"No time for food!" Gimli sputtered. "What has this world come to?"

"Evil… and darkness," Legolas said, picking at one of his arrows.

"Bright little ray of sunshine, you are," Gimli huffed.

I didn't want to listen to them bicker like little old ladies. My head was pounding, so I got up and tried to walk away.

The next thing I knew, I was face first in the grass. The world was spinning. Then I started vomiting.

I could hear raise voices around me. Then I felt someone grab my shoulders and gently lift me into a sitting position. It was Boromir.

"Jana," I heard him say, "can you hear me?" I think I nodded my head, and then spit out some more vomit.

"She is not well,' I heard Legolas say. Well, thanks, Captain Obvious.

When I stopped vomiting, Boromir pulled me closer to him. "It will be alright," he kept saying.

"I-I'm fine," I managed to say. I tried to get up, but he only held on tighter. Then I started crying. Goddamnit, I don't like to cry. Especially not on the shoulders of annoying men that I don't even know that well.

We sat there like that for a long time. I felt awful. At first I blamed the way I felt on the death of Gandalf. But now I'm not so sure.

"We must keep moving," Aragorn said. "By nightfall, these hills will be swarming with orcs."

I looked back at the mountain. "Too late." There was a massive amount of orcs crawling into the first part of the hills.

"Run!" Aragorn shouted at us. Everyone scrambled. Boromir was still holding onto me as we ran, my head press against his chest. (Which, I might add, it just barely where I came up to on him. Damn my shortness.)

We ran until we reached the tree line.

"You can let go of me now," I said to Boromir. He merely looked at me, then shrugged, and let me go.

I took a few steps away, and nearly fell over again.

"I think not," Boromir said, rushing forward to catch me. "You are not well."

"No shit,' I said, grabbing onto his arm.

Pippin came over to us. "Are you alright, Jana?" he asked.

"Not feeling well," I said, giving him a weak smile. "'Spect I'm coming down with something."

We kept walking for a while. I clung onto Boromir for support. I was feeling lightheaded again.

Boromir's on one side of me, Pippin on the other. We we're all scared. And it's getting very dark now.

"Will the Elves be able to fix you right?" Pippin asked suddenly.

"I suppose so," I said. I hadn't really thought that anything was seriously wrong with me.

"Keep moving," Aragorn said. "We are close."

"Who elected you God?" I asked. He turned and scowled at me. Boromir chuckled from next to me. I gave him a smile, which he returned.


	14. Blood

"The dwarf breaths so loudly, we could have shot him in the dark."

I opened my eyes. I must have passed out, because I don't remember being encircled by a band of Elves. And I certainly don't remember Boromir carrying me in his arms.

I looked up at him from my awkward angle. He looked frightened.

Then Haldir saw me. "Jana," he said, hurrying over to me.

"Hi… asshole…" I managed to day weakly. Then I started vomiting again. I got some on my hand. When I looked down at it, I was shocked to see that it wasn't puke. It was blood.

"Oh, my…" it was Haldir. "What happened to her?" His voice had turned sharp, demanding.

"We are not sure," I heard Aragorn say.

"Haldir," Legolas said, "we were ambushed by orcs in the mines." He threw a nasty look at Gimli, as if it were his fault.

"Was she hurt?" Haldir asked. No one said anything.

I felt Haldir grab me from Boromir's arms. Boromir made a noise of protest, but the look Haldir gave him silenced him quickly.

Haldir barked something in Elvish to the others. Then he started running with me in his arms.

"Jana!" I heard Pippin cry from behind me. "What's happening?" he asked.

I mustered the last bit of strength I had, and my head to smile at him. Then the world went black.

I groaned and opened my eyes. Everything hurt. I was in a low bed, with a thin sheet over me. I turned to see Boromir sitting next to my bed. He was asleep.

"Boromir," I said weakly. He didn't move. "Boromir," I tried again. Still, nothing. "BOROMIR!" I said loudly. You can bet that made my throat feel good. Ha, ha… NO. He still hadn't moved. So I punched him in the arm. Now _that _got me somewhere.

"Ouch!" he opened his eyes. "What you do that for?" he asked, rubbing his arm.

"Well, you didn't respond to my yelling, so I thought you were dead. Or deaf. Just wanted to make sure." I smiled at him. He didn't return it.

"This is not funny," he said. "We thought _you_ were dead."

I stopped smiling. "What happened to me?"

Before Boromir could even open his mouth, there came a new voice. "You were stabbed." I turned to see Haldir descending a flight of stairs to the left of my bed.

"What?" I said.

"Yes, you were stabbed," he said simply. "Must have been during the battle with the orcs."

"I don't believe you," I said. How could I have been stabbed and not have noticed it?

I looked up at Boromir. But he only nodded gravely. Then he pulled back the sheet that was over me, and part of the tunic I was wearing to reveal a bandage wrapped around my side.

"How could I not have noticed?" I asked, stunned.

"Your tunic," Boromir said simply. "It was the same color as your blood."

"What the hell?" I said, throwing my arms above my head. "Ouch! Damnit!" I winced.

"Very smart," Haldir said coolly, picking at his fingernails. "Try not to do that, love. You'll stretch the bandages, and those take me a long time to make."

"You self-centered jackass!" I said to him. "There's no 'I'm sorry you got stabbed, Jana?' No 'I'm sorry you've been puking your guts up' or 'I'm sorry you nearly died'? None of that?"

"Well, somebody's in a bad mood," he commented lightly.

"No shit,' I huffed at him.

"If you will excuse me," Haldir said. "But I have other issues to attend to. Goodnight." He walked back up the staircase, and disappeared from sight.

"He is the biggest---" I cursed Haldir loudly for a minuet. Boromir didn't say anything. He was staring at me, eyes glazed over. "_Boromir_?"

"What?" he said, coming out of his trance.

"Why were you looking at me like that?"

"Oh, sorry," he said, looking down at the ground.

"_What_?" I prompted.

"It's just… I thought you were dead…" his voice trailed off. I didn't say anything. "You got all pale. Then you started vomiting blood, and passed out. I didn't know what to do…"

"And the you got mad when shithead over there," I jerked my thumb in the direction Haldir had gone, "came and knew exactly what to do with me."

He was silent for a moment. "No," he said. "I was angry at first that he took you, but then I was thankful that he did. Jana, you would have died if it wasn't for Haldir." He looked up at me then, eyes bright.

I felt my face flush a little. "But he's still an asshole," I said with a small smile.

"Yes, he is," Boromir said. Then he smiled back at me.

"You look tired," I said after a few seconds.

"Yeah, I am. We only just arrived here. The elves at the boarder didn't want to let us in because of Frodo."

"Oh," I said. He was still looking at me. "Where are the others?"

"Sleeping," he said.

"And you should be, too."

He only nodded at that. "You need your sleep too," he said after a short pause. He pointed at my bed. "Now."

"_Yes, Mother_," I said mockingly. He sighed, as I rolled over.

I lay there for a while. My head hurt. I didn't think I could sleep.

I heard Boromir move next to my bed. I rolled on my other side to look at him. "Where are you going?"

He paused to look at me. "To sleep," he said. "Like you should be."

He started to walk away. I don't know why, but I grabbed his hand. "Don't go," I said.

He stopped and looked back at me. I pulled him over. He lay down on the bed next to me, and put his arms around me. We fell asleep like that.


	15. Red Gashes and Love

"Well, aren't you a guy magnet." I rolled over to see Haldir standing next to my bed. Boromir was still next to me. He was asleep again.

"Shove it," I said. He smiled as I managed to get Boromir's arm off me. I sat up, and put my face in my hands. Then I looked back up at the Elf. "Hey, listen. I'm sorry about last night…"

He waved his hand at me, and said, "Come, now. I have to change your bandages."

"What?" I asked, confused. "But you only put them on last night. Why do you need to change them again?"

"Take a look at them."

I did. They were stained red. "Oh."

"Do you think you can walk, or do you need me to carry you?" giving me a small grin. I threw a pillow at him with all the strength I had. "Walking. Right."

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and carefully got to my feet. I had to try hard not to wake Boromir. _Now_ I could feel the pain in my side.

Haldir and I walked a little ways to what looked like a makeshift hospital area. There was a small stream of fresh water, bandages, and a couple of bottles that contained different colored liquids.

"Lift your shirt up," Haldir said, reaching for some fresh bandages. I did, but only enough to that he could get to the old bandages. He grinned evilly at me. "Higher." I kicked him hard in the legs. "Ouch! Okay! Okay!"

"Gutter-Brain Elf," I muttered under my breath. I wasn't so much of a sucker for Elves any more.

When Haldir had taken off the bandages, I snuck a peek at the wound, and instantly wished that I hadn't. It was a big, ugly gash in my side; all red and puffy.

Haldir reached for one of the bottles, and poured some of its contents onto my side.

"Ow, damnit," I said between gritted teeth. "You could have at least told me it was going to sting."

"Oh, sorry," he said. "Must have slipped my mind."

I aimed another kick at him, but he jumped back out of the way. "Finally smartened up, have you?" I said.

"Ha, ha," he said, wrapping the new bandages around my side, and tying them in a knot. "There," he said. "All done."

"Not going to give me a lollypop or stickers, I see," I said with a small grin. He only looked at me, eyebrows raised. "Where are the others?" I asked him.

"Not far from you were," he said. There was a short pause. "So… what happened with you and Boromir last night?"

"Nothing!" I said with the nastiest look I could manage. "Absolutely nothing!"

"Then why did I find you two like that this morning?"

"He only wanted to make sure I was okay," I huffed.

"Oh, so 'making sure you're okay' means sleeping with---"

"NO!" I just about screamed at him. "He did NOT sleep with me! He was on one side of the bed, and I was on the other! End of story."

"All right! I'm sorry!" Haldir sputtered, throwing his hands up in front of his face, as though he thought I was going to hit him or something. To hell you the truth, that thought did cross my mind…

I took a deep breath. "I'm going to find the others," I said. "Don't bother me unless you think you've made some horrible mistake in curing me, and think I'm going to drop dead at any second. Understand?"

He nodded his head. I started walking back the direction we had come from.

"JANA!"

I was under hobbit siege before I could even turn my head. Pippin was hugging me tightly. At least it was like a regular hug this time. He was only a little bit shorter than me. Scary, huh?

I sharply sucked in a breath when he squeezed me. "Oh, sorry," Pippin said, backing off. "I didn't mean to." He smiled sheepishly.

"It's alright," I said with a smile of my own.

"Are you okay now?" he asked.

"Yes, Pip. I'm all better."

His smile expanded. "That's great." He looked back towards everyone else. They were still sleeping. "Why don't you come and sit down, and I'll fix you something to eat," he offered.

"That would be nice," I said. I didn't believe it at first, but I was actually hungry and wanted to eat something.

Pippin toasted some bread and tomatoes for us on the fire. They were actually good. I had never been a big tomato person.

"Glad to see you're eating something," Pippin said after I had eaten my fifth piece of bread.

I smiled at him. "It does feel nice."

There was a short pause before Pippin said, "Is it like a custom or something not to eat, where you come from?"

"No," I said. "Some of the girls don't eat because they want to look nice."

"But you're already pretty." He shot me a smile.

I felt my face flush red. No one had ever told me that before. "I don't know why I didn't eat," I said after a moment. "But I was always small and skinny." I shrugged off the thought, and continued eating.

After a while, Pippin scotched closer to me. "Jana," he said.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're back."

I leaned over and put my head on his shoulder.


	16. Frodo

The woods were nice. They offered us a sheltered place to rest and regroup. But there was one bad thing about them: they were swarming with Elves.

Everywhere you turn, there's Elves. It wasn't this bad in Rivendell. I swear to God, I can't even pee without seeing Elves!

Legolas seems happy. Well, he's relaxed, at least. Aragorn seems at home, too. That's what you get, being raised by Elves.

But Gimli is beside himself. He wants out as soon as possible. I wouldn't mind leaving, either. It's just that the Elves walk by you, and don't even notice you. I mean, there've been a couple that have walked right into me, and haven't even turned to say sorry.

My wound has been healing nicely. I don't have to wear bandages over it anymore. And I've been eating. It does feel nice to be able to eat whenever I want to. I don't have to force myself to do it anymore.

Merry wandered over to me. "Jana, Haldir's looking for you."

"Ah… What now?" I asked. Haldir had been bothering me day and night. He wanted to make sure I was eating, I was sleeping, Frodo wanted me to continue with them, I could use my bow, and everything else under the sun.

"Don't know," Merry said.

A little while later, I was with Haldir again.

"Now, you'll be leaving in a few days," he informed me.

"Yeah, I know."

"We need to address the issue of clothing."

"No dresses," I said flatly. "It was hell walking in that thing."

"Then what are you going to wear?"

"Can you get me some leggings or something?" I asked. "And a shirt. A loose shirt would be good."

"Leggings? And a shirt?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "You _want_ to look like a man?"

"No," I said. "I just don't want to be in a stupid tunic this time."

"All right. Whatever you say. I'll go see what I can get."

I sighed as he walked away.

"There," Haldir said about an hour later, pushing a bundle of clothes at me. "Just what you wanted."

"Thank you," I said, grabbing the bundle from him.

"Now, one more question," he said. I turned back to him, a forced smile that was more like a grimace of pain, on my face. "Are you sure that you can use your sword? It isn't too big?"

"Do you want me to demonstrate how to use it on you?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"It was only a question," he said as he walked away.

"Next question, the sword comes out! Got that?" I called after him. Haldir was really pissing me off lately.

Boromir came over and sat next to me. "Morning," he yawned. I only looked at him, then blew out a breath. "What's wrong with you?" he asked.

"Haldir," I said. "He keeps asking me questions, and I'll answer them, then he'll ask the same thing again." I shook my head. "I can't wait to get out of here."

We sat there like that for a while. Then I saw Haldir coming back.

"Gotta run, love," I said to Boromir. "Haldir's about to interrogate me for about the tenth time this morning." I got up and retreated to a little grove of trees and bushes.

I made to sit down behind one bush, but there was already someone there.

"Oh, sorry, Frodo," I said.

"Hmm…" he looked up. "What was that?"

"I almost sat on you," I said.

"Oh. I didn't notice."

I sat down next to him. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Hiding from Haldir," I said. There was a short pause. "You know, even since I was wounded, I have either Haldir, Boromir, or Pippin with me at all times. I mean, what's up with that?"

It was true. One of the three was always with me, or was watching me. I didn't mind it at first, but now it was just annoying. Can't I just be by myself for once? I can't even hide alone.

"How 'bout you?" I asked Frodo. "You hiding from someone?"

"No one in particular," he said. He was fiddling with the Ring around his neck. "Just everyone, I guess. Except for you. You don't bother me, Jana." He smiled at me.

"That's good to know," I laughed.

"You know," he said after a while. "I haven't really had the chance to talk to you. Not since we left Rivendell."

"So, Mr. Baggins--- or Frodo. Can I call you Frodo? What do you want to talk about?" I said in the most businessman voice I could manage.

He laughed. I think this is the first time I've seen Frodo actually laugh since we set out.

"Where do you come from?" he asked me.

I looked thoughtfully at him for a moment. "Can you keep a secret?"

He cocked his head at me. "Yes."

"Good," I said. There was a short pause. "I don't come from Middle Earth."

He looked at me. I could see he was confused. "Then where _do _you come from?"

"Another… place," I said. "We just call it 'Earth'. The where I lived was called 'London'. You see, the places were very complicated. London is a place. But London is also in a place called 'England'. And England is in a place called 'Europe'. And Europe is a place in the Earth. Confusing, right?"

"Yes, very," he said. "So let me get this straight. There is another Earth?"

"I don't know if it's still there," I said. "To be honest, I have no idea how I ended up here. One minuet I was in my bed in London, the next, in a forest near Rivendell. Strange, huh?"

"Very," he said nodding his head.

"Best leave the history lesson there for today," I said. "My brain hurts."

"_Your brain hurts_?" laughed. "What do you think mine feels like?"

We both laughed. Frodo really does have a beautiful smile. Then we sat there in silence for a while. Frodo kept fiddling with the Ring.

"What do you think of all this?" he asked me suddenly.

I paused for a moment to think. "I don't know," I said honestly. "It's all very… confusing."

"Yes, it is," he said.

"Frodo, I just want you to know, that whatever you choose to do, I'm with you the whole way," I said. "Even if I can't actually _be _with you."

"Thank you," he said. "I don't know where all of this will take me…" His voice trailed off. Well, _I_ know where it's gonna take you…

"No matter what any one of us says or does, we're here to protect you," I said. "I know it might be hard to understand at times, but I really mean it."

"I know you do," he said. We looked at each other for a second longer.

"How does lunch sound?" I asked Frodo.

He smiled. "That sounds pretty good."

We got up from our grove, and headed back to where the others were camped.

"Where were you two?" Boromir demanded when we walked over to the fire.

"None of your business," I snapped back at him.

He glared at me for a second. "All right. You don't have to get mad."

"A little late for that," I grumbled under my breath.


	17. I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A MAN!

"You look like a man," Boromir said.

I was wearing the shirt and leggings that Haldir had given me. The leggings were a chocolate brown color, she shirt, off-white.

"See! I told you so!" Haldir said. There was a triumphant grin on his face.

"Shove it, both of you," I snapped back. "I do NOT look like a man."

"Yes you do," Aragorn said. I didn't notice him come over.

"NO, I DO NOT!" I yelled at the three of them. "How many men do you know who wear their hair this long?" I flipped my hand through my long hair.

Haldir opened his mouth. I knew he was going to say "Elves."

"MEN," I said, cutting him off. "Not Elves. My hair is black, and I don't have pointy ears. Therefore, I am not an Elf. Got that?" They all nodded. "Good."

"Well, I'm off to take a bath," Aragorn said.

"What did you just say?" I asked in disbelief.

"I'm going to take a bath," he said, turning around, and giving me a funny look.

"You? Take a bath?"

"Yes," he said, giving me an even stranger look.

"You're serious?" I asked. "You're really going to bathe?"

"_Yes_," he said.

"Oh. My. God. Aragorn's going to take a bath! It's a sign of the apocalypse!" I laughed.

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Why are you asking," Boromir said. "What? You wanna to watch or something?"

I picked up a rock and hurled it at Boromir's head. "Perv," I said, as he ducked out of the way. Haldir laughed, while Aragorn shook his head, and walked away.

"Pippin, do I look like a man?"

He turned to look at me. "No," he said. "Why do you ask?"

"Haldir, Aragorn, and Boromir all say I do," I said with a shrug.

"How about the others?" Pippin said. "I say we should vote on it." I only blinked at him. "Come on," he said, grabbing my hand. "Let's go ask Sam."

We found Sam a few minuets later picking some flowers.

"Sam," Pippin said. "Does Jana look like a man?"

"Course not," Sam said.

"Thank you," I said with an exasperated sigh. "That's two no's and three yes's."

"Where's Frodo and Merry? We have to ask them, too." Pippin said.

"I haven't seen Merry or Mr. Frodo this morning," Sam said with a shrug. "It worries me a bit, it does."

"Who's looking for me?" Merry came up behind us.

I rounded on him. "Do I look like a man?"

He looked me over for a minuet. "Nah," he finally said. "You're too short."

"I wouldn't be talking," I grumbled.

"You seen Mr. Frodo anywhere?" Sam asked.

"Nope," Merry said. "But I have been looking for you, Pip. You wanna see how much more of that Elven bread we can nick?"

Pippin's face lit up. "Yeah! Oh, wait." He turned to look at me.

"Go on," I said. "I'll see if I can find the other three."

He smiled at me, then took off with Merry. "Hey, Pip!" He stopped and turned. "Get some extra for me, okay?" He smiled again, then disappeared from sight.

"Always getten' themselves into trouble, those two," Sam said, jerking his head in the direction that Merry and Pippin had gone.

"Yeah," I said. A smile still lingered on my face.

"Here," Sam said, handing me a white flower. "Put it in your hair."

"Thanks," I said, taking it from him. "It's very pretty." Oh, god. I just called something pretty. I must have hit my head pretty hard when I landed in Middle Earth.

I started off in search of the three remaining members of the fellowship. "Oh, Jana," Sam said. I looked over my shoulder at him. "If you see Mr. Frodo, tell him I'm looken' for him."

"I think I have an idea of where he is," I said with a small grin.

"Thought I'd find you here."

Frodo looked up. He was lying on his back in the little grove of trees where we had hid a few days ago.

"I need to ask you something."

"Go ahead." He spoke as he sat up.

"Do I look like a man?" He started laughing. "_What_?" I said. "This isn't funny! I need to know if I look like a man or not."

"No, you don't," he finally choked out, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Positive," he said. "You're not manly."

I smiled. "Thanks, Frodo. That makes four no's, and three yes's. But I still have to ask Legolas and Gimli. See you later," I said, getting to my feet. "I'll leave you to your day-dreaming."

"Hey, Gimli!" I called. At last, I had cornered the dwarf.

"What is it, lass?" he said.

"I need to ask you something."

"Sort of figured that much," he said, taking a long pull on his pipe.

"Do you think I look like a man?"

He looked at me for a long moment. "In that shirt, yes."

"WHAT? Not you, too." My face fell. "Gee, thanks, Gimli."

"Anytime," he chuckled. "Why'd you ask?"

"Everyone but the hobbits says I do," I said halfheartedly.

"Even the Elf?'

"One Elf, yes."

"_Which _Elf I should say."

"Shit-head Elf," I answered.

"That doesn't answer my question, lass." He smiled.

"I haven't asked Legolas yet," I said. "His is the only vote that counts now."

Gimli snorted. "Leave it up to an Elf! Not a smart choice, lass, not a smart choice."

"What am I deciding?"

"Jesus Christ, Legolas, don't do that to me!" I said. I hadn't heard him come up behind me.

"Do what?"

"Scare the shit out of me," I said, turning to face him. "I've gotta ask you something."

"I got that much."

"Do I look like a man?"

"Hey! That's cheating!"

I turned to see Haldir and Boromir coming over to us. "What do you want now?" I asked.

"You can't have a flower in your hair. That's cheap."

Oh, are you pouting?" I asked. He threw me a nasty look.

"What's the count?" Boromir asked.

"How do you know I was taking a vote on it?" I asked, eyeing him.

"We caught the hobbits trying to steal some food," Haldir said. "We struck a deal with them Food for information." He smiled.

"It's four to four," I said. "Now, if you would let pretty-boy over here answer, we'll know once and for all whether I look like a man or not." I turned to Legolas. "So, what do you say?"

He considered me for a moment.

"Take the flower out," Haldir hissed in my ear.

"No," I said.

"Well," Legolas started. "Your face is delicate, your eyes are stunning, but the clothes…" We all stared at him. "I am going to say… no. Jana, you do not look like a man."

"Ha!" I turned to Haldir. "I was right!"

"And what is this?" We all turned to see lady Galadriel standing behind us.

We all looked stunned for a second. She had a great deer-in-the-headlights affect. Then we all awkwardly bowed out heads.

When I looked up, she was staring at me. "Come, child," she said. "Walk with me."

My brain was screaming 'Uh-un! No way! I don't want to walk with the scary Elf lady!' But my legs obviously had a different opinion.

"Help me," I mouthed to Boromir as I started walking. But he was only staring at Galadriel, eyes wide. He looked kinda scared, actually.

We walked along in silence for a while. "Tell me, child, do you like it here?"

"Uh," I stuttered. "It's okay, I guess." She didn't say anything for a long time.

"Um, Haldir kinda mentioned you know some stuff about me," I said awkwardly.

"Yes, I do," she said softly. I didn't want to push her, so I didn't say anything.

"You know what will happen." She stopped walking abruptly, and I had to jump to my right to avoid a collision.

"What?"

"You have great power, little one. You know the fate of the Fellowship, and of Middle Earth."

"How do you know that?"

She merely looked at me. "You have the power to change everything," Galadriel said. "Do what you must."

"But me just being here is changing things," I said. "Maybe I shouldn't be here. Maybe I should just… go away, and become a hermit."

"Oh, child," the Elf said. "Do not think like that. You will change things. And you shall change them for the better. Do what your heart tells you to."

I managed to smile back. "Okay. Uh, thanks for this… talk."

She bowed her head, and walked away.

"Not to self: Scary Elf Queen would make a good shrink."


	18. Hair Eating Wargs

"Jana, hand me that bread, will you," Aragorn said. We were loading up the boats. I shoved a stack of bread at him.

"Jana?" I turned to see Haldir behind me. "Can you come with me for a moment?"

"Yeah, hang on," I said. "Aragorn, you need any more help here?"

"Not at the moment," he said. "But I'll need you to keep the food away from the hobbits." He grinned. Oh, boy. He obviously didn't know about Merry's secret stash. I knew about it, but only because they were hiding it in my bag.

"You need to do something with your hair," Haldir said. "It's all tangled."

"Yeah, I know," I said, absently tugging at it. "But these knots aren't coming out anytime soon."

He looked at me for another second. Haldir had been nagging me about my hair for a few days, and it was driving me mad.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked. He had a bad habit of dragging me places without mentioning where we were going.

"Lady Galadriel has a gift for you," he said.

"Me?"

"Is there any other _you _here?" he said, raising his eyebrows. I only scowled at him.

"Here you are, child," Galadriel said. She handed me a --- scarf. Oh, good. What am I supposed to do with a freaking scarf?

"Uh, thanks," I said, taking it from her. She smiled, and walked over to Sam.

I started to make a face over the scarf, when Galadriel suddenly turned back to me. "Oh, by the way, you _must _do something with your hair."

When she turned away, I smacked myself in the forehead with the palm of my hand.

"See?" Haldir snickered. "I told you so."

I turned around and punched him in the gut. He doubled over, and I walked away, scarf in hand.

"Hey, Jana!" Pippin called. "Guess what I got from Lady Galadriel!"

I already knew the answer, but I turned with a smile on my face anyway. "What?"

"I've got a dagger," he said with a huge smile. "See." He pulled it out to show it to me. "What did she give you?"

"Oh, I got a scarf," I said, the smile turning to a grimace. I pulled it out of my pack.

"Oh, well… it's a nice scarf," he said. "I thought that she might give you a sword or something."

"Why would she give me a weapon?" I said. "Jana plus sharp objects equals bad."

He laughed. "Well, I wouldn't exactly say that."

"Really?"

"No. I've seen you practicing with Aragorn and Legolas. You can fight better than all the hobbits combined." He paused for a second. "You and arrows don't really mix, though."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Pip."

"Do we have everything?" I asked Aragorn. He was balanced on one foot, reaching awkwardly into one of the boats. He got whatever he was searching for, and turned around. "You really need to do something with your hair."

I let out a small scream/growl. "Told you so." I whirled around, and took a wild swing at Haldir's head. Because it me, I missed, naturally.

"DON'T DO THAT! It scares the crap out of me. And these freaking knots are not coming out of my hair."

"Then at least tie it back," Aragorn said.

Legolas walked by us then, and I seized full opportunity of the moment, and grabbed one of his knives from him, and brought it up to my hair.

_SLICE_.

I cut it off at about the top of my ears. Haldir, Aragorn, and Legolas all stood there, eyes wide.

I reached down, and picked my hair up off the ground. "Here," I said, shoving it at Haldir. "You deal with it now." He only stared at it, so I dumped it on his feet. I handed Legolas back his knife, and walked away.

"Hey, Jana, there you are --- Whoa! What happened to your hair?" Merry said.

"Oh, nothing," I said lightly. "I was attacked by a rampaging warg. You know, one of those hair eating ones. There was nothing I could do about it." He only stared at me. "It's a joke," I said.

"Right…" he paused. "So, do we have all the …" he jerked his head at my pack.

"Yeah," I said. "They have no idea."

"Good… good…" he said.

"Come on. We'll be leaving in a few minuets." I put my arm around him as we walked towards the boats.


	19. Fears

Author's Notes: Sorry I haven't updated in 2 days. But I was at a kick-ass Projekt Revolution concert on Friday in Boston! I was gone from 8 AM Friday, and got back at 2 AM Saturday. And then I slept most of Saturday. So, here you go!

Chapter 19:

I don't like the boats. I don't like being in the water, where one nicely placed arrow could end my life. And I don't like being in the same boat as Boromir.

_We're going to camp on the shore. We're going to be attacked by the Uruks. Boromir is going to die._

I don't like to think about it. I don't want Boromir to die. But I don't want to alter the plot line, either. Goddamnit.

Merry and Pippin are also in the boat with us. I don't know how I got stuck here. I should probably be with Gimli and Legolas. They're sharing a boat. But, _no_. I have to stay with Boromir.

Nobody's talking. I think we're trying to go unnoticed. But to tell you the truth, that's pretty hard to do, seeing as we're the only things moving out here. If we run into the Uruk-hai now, we're screwed.

We stopped to make camp for the night. I jump about a mile every time I hear a noise.

"What's gotten into you?" Boromir asked. "You're all jumpy."

"Don't know," I said. He looked at me for a few seconds, then shrugged, and went over to talk to Aragorn.

_What do I do?_ I thought to myself.

_"Do what your heart tells you…"_

"What?" I said out loud. Had I really heard Galadriel's voice talking to me just now? I started swatting at the air around my head. "Get out of my brain! Get out!" I said.

I kept my swatting up until I noticed that everyone was looking at me. I stopped, blinked, and waved at Gimli. He shook his head, and turned away.

I couldn't sleep that night. I got up as quietly as I could, and went over to the edge of the water.

I sat on a tree stump, and slipped my boots off. The water felt nice on my feet. For the first time in years, I was at peace with myself. I suddenly realized that this is where I belonged; I didn't want to go back home again.

But there was still that one nagging thought in the back of my mind. What to do about Boromir?

_"Uh, hey… Galadriel," _I said in my mind, _"anytime you wanna come back and tell me what to do would be great."_ There was no answer. Great. So all I have to go on is 'do what your heart tells you…'

It may sound easy, but it's really not. Like my heart's going to tell me outright to save Boromir because I care about him. Hell no. I'm not used to caring about other people. It was always me vs. the world. It's a little hard to suddenly have people to care about. A little? Who the hell am I trying to kid? It's just about the hardest damn thing I've ever had to do.

"Jana?" I turned to see Aragorn sitting up. "What are you doing?" He got up, came over, and sat down next to me.

"Nothing," I said. "Just thinking."

"About what?" he prompted.

I paused for a moment. "About something Lady Galadriel said to me." I tuned to face him. "Some advice she gave me."

He nodded his head, but didn't say anything. I could tell he wanted me to continue. "She told me to do what my heart tells me to. But I don't know what it's saying."

"And why would she tell you to do that?"

I sighed. "Galadriel said that I have this… power. She says to be able to use the power for good, I have to listen to my heart."

"Hmm…" he said. "Legolas would agree."

"What?"

"He told me that you must have some sort of power. Some kind of… other sight." I nodded at him. Why the hell was I suddenly opening up to Aragorn? "Can you see what's going to happen, Jana?"

I took my time in answering. "Sort of," I finally said. "I could see what was coming. But it changes… Some things are the same, though."

"Could you tell me what is going to happen?" I turned back to him. He looked excited; scared, but excited.

"No, I can't," I said. His face fell a little. "Nothing is for certain."

I saw Aragorn fiddle with the pendant that Arwin had given him. "Hey," I said. He looked up. "She's all right." He smiled at me.

"Well, I should probably try to get some sleep." He stood up, and started walking back to his blankets.

"Aragorn?" He turned back to me. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Yeah," he said. "What?"

"Can I borrow your dagger?" He walked back over and handed it to me. "Thanks," I said. "I'll put it near your stuff when I'm done."

He walked off and lay down on his blankets.

I leaned over and looked at my reflection in the water. My eyes were hollow, and my cheekbones stuck out a little.

I brought the dagger up to my hair, and started cutting it so that it was choppy and uneven. I hated it just being straight.

"Okay," I said to myself. "My hair is going away, and so are my fears."

I watched as pieces of it floated away down the river.

All my fears of loosing Boromir were gone. I was going to save him. Even if it kills me. He was a better cause to live for. I'm all ready a fucking Mary-Sue. What does it matter now?


	20. To Kiss a Hobbit

We had made our final camp together. When I looked around, I saw that Sam was cooking something, and Merry was talking to him. Poor Merry. He was no idea…

Legolas and Gimli were sharpening their weapons. Ah, boys and their pointy toys.

Pippin was sitting near the water. I wandered over to him. "Can I sit with you, Pip?"

He looked up and smiled. "Sure."

I've been fighting with myself over Pippin. I do like him a lot. He seems to like me back. But I don't know why. I'm just 'that emo girl'. And when I say I like Pip, I mean I _really_ like him. But he's a hobbit, and I'm a hormonal teenage girl.

I looked out over the water. I knew this would be the last time I would see Pippin for weeks, and I had no idea what to say to him.

But Pippin solved that problem for me. He reached over and took my hand in his. I rested my head on his shoulder.

He turned to look at me. "What's wrong?" he said, looking concerned.

I hadn't realized it, but I was crying. "Nothing," I said, wiping away the tears. He only looked at me. "I'm fine," I said. "It's just… everything's caught up with me now." I smiled weakly at him. "I'm okay."

I moved even closer to him. We sat there like that for a long time. Nothing could bother us.

Damn. I jinxed it, didn't I? And sure enough, on cue, here comes Sam.

"Where's Mr. Frodo?" he said.

"Oh shit!" I jumped up. Sure enough, Frodo, Aragorn, and Boromir were all gone.

Pippin stood up. "What's wrong?" he said, eyes darting across the camp.

"Pip, I---" I said, looking towards the forest, then at him, and back again. I couldn't say goodbye. Hell, I couldn't say anything.

So I just leaned in and kissed Pippin on the cheek. Then I started running towards the trees.

I stole one final glance back at him. Pippin's hand was raised to the spot where I had kissed him, looking dazed. He was staring after me. I could barely see him, because tears were blurring my vision.

Great. Now I'm everyone's favorite angsty Sue. But what the hell did I care. I've given up on trying not to change things.

I sprinted through the woods, trying desperately to find Boromir. I didn't see him anywhere. Shit.

_Have to find Boromir. Have to find Boromir before Uruk-hai do…_

I had no idea where I was going. But I kept running, anyway. Remind me to thank Haldir for the leggings next time I see him.

And suddenly I heard thunder. No, that's not thunder. It's the fucking Uruk-hai stampeding through the forest. Goddamnit.

The tears still blurred my vision as I pressed on. I was crying for Pippin, for Boromir, for Merry… Hell, I was crying for everyone.

I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to Merry or Sam. I already said a goodbye to Frodo, I guess. Well, I told him I was with him all the way. That sort of counts, right?

I didn't want to have to stop to fight any Uruk-hai; I just wanted to find Boromir. But that was out of the question now, seeing as I had about five running straight towards me.

I grabbed my sword, but didn't stop. I was going to out-run them for as long as I could.

And you can bet that didn't last very long. I really have to stop jinxing myself today.

I turned around and started hacking at the first one. Two others stopped, while the rest charged on.

When the three were dead, I started running again. I saw Gimli trying to take on about eight at once, but I didn't stop to help him. There was no time to stop.

And then I heard Boromir's horn. Shit. But it sounded close. That was good.

Soon Boromir came into view. Merry and Pippin were with him. As much as I wanted to look at Pippin, I couldn't. I had to focus on Boromir.

And then I noticed the one Uruk-hai stop and pull out his bow. Crap. There was no way I could reach him in time with my sword.

Lucky for me, I had my bow. But when I checked my pouch, I only had one arrow. Damn. One arrow, one chance.

I took a deep breath to steady myself, but that didn't help much. "God, help me," I said, pulling my arrow back.

_Wizz._

Well, at least I could hear that my arrow made contact. But when I looked, I saw that it was lodged in the Uruk-hai's eye.

The creature dropped its bow, and let out a roar of pain. Then it reached up and pulled the arrow out --- but the eye came with it.

Vomit came up so fast, I barely had time to bend over.

I looked up just in time to see Boromir chop the Uruk-hai's head off. At least he was safe.

When the vomiting subsided, I realized that the rest of the Uruk-hai were gone. Then I saw Boromir drop to his knees.

I hurried over, and dropped to the ground next to him. He was crying. "They took the little ones," he said. "They took them."

My eyes started to fill with tears, too. "It's my fault," Boromir said. "I should have paid more attention to them… my fault…"

"Not, it's not" I said. "It was no one's fault. There was nothing any us could have done." He didn't seem to hear me. "Boromir," I said. He looked up. "It could be worse. You could have been killed.

"I would be dead if wasn't for you. You stopped that orc from shooting me."

"You saw?" I asked. I felt my face flush a little.

"Yes," he said. "That was brilliant arrow placement."

"No, it wasn't, really," I said. "I was aiming for his chest."

We just sat there looking at each other until the other three showed up.

"Boromir! Jana! What happened?" Aragorn said.

Boromir didn't look like he could talk. "Merry and Pippin," I said, my voice cracking. "They're gone. The Uruks took them." I gave up on trying to stop the tears. Now they just rolled down my cheeks. My body shook with silent sobs.

Aragorn dropped to the ground next to me. "Jana," he said. "Do you know where Frodo and Sam are?" I didn't answer. He grabbed my shoulders. "Jana, you must tell me. You could see where they were going."

"Gone," I whispered. "On the boat." He stared at me. "We must not go after them. We have to save Merry and Pippin."

"What?" Boromir said. "You knew this was going to happen?" Slowly, I nodded my head. "And you did nothing to save the halflings?"

"There was nothing she could do," Aragorn snapped.

"Boromir," I said. "I care about them just as much as you do. But I had to make a choice between them or you. And if I had tried to save them, we would both be dead."

He looked at me for a long moment. "Forgive me, Jana. I spoke rashly. I should be grateful to you for saving my life."

"Damn straight," I grumbled. I looked up at Aragorn. "We can track them easily."

"Then what are we waiting for?" he said. "Let's hunt some orc."


	21. Return of the Bitches

Author's Notes: Sorry, but school starts for me tomorrow. I'll try to update as much as I can on the weekends, though. And I just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews! I really like to know what you think about my writing. Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to the song "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance. I am only using them in my story.

Chapter 21:

I am SO glad that I'm wearing a shirt and leggings. I think I would have died if I were wearing a tunic.

I hate running. We start early in the morning, and run until late afternoon. Then we rest for a little while, and start again. I like running at night better. I don't feel so vulnerable. We do stop to sleep at some point during the night. But I haven't slept in days.

There are some times when I blackout while I'm running. Most of the time when this happens, I fall over. But Boromir is always there to help me up.

Boromir seems just as pained as I am about Merry and Pippin. I can't even imagine what they're going through.

But now that Pippin isn't here to occupy my thoughts, I notice that Boromir is always watching me. He reminds me just about everyday that I saved his life, he's really grateful, and all that other shit. It's kinda annoying, actually.

Days seem to pass like minutes. We hardly ever talk. We're all determined to catch up to the Uruk-hai.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to find something to say. I decided that a song would be good. But what to sing?

_"They're gonna clean up your looks,_

_"With all the lies in the books,_

_"To make a citizen out of you." I started to sing._

_"Because they sleep with a gun,_

_"And keep an eye on you, sun,_

_"So they can watch all the things you do."_

"What?" Boromir said, turning to look at me.

"I'm singing," I said. "And you're interrupting." He gave me a weird look, but I continued anyway.

_"Because the drugs never work,_

_"They gonna give you a smirk,_

_"Cause they got methods of keep'n you clean._

_"They're gonna rip up your heads,_

_"Your aspiration to shreds,_

_"Another cog in the murder machine."_

"What is she doing?" I heard Aragorn ask Legolas. He sounded annoyed.

"Singing some sort of crude song," Legolas said. "Sounds vaguely interesting."

"Well, tell her to shut up," Aragorn snapped.

Me? Shut up? No, I just sang louder.

_"They said all,_

_"Teenagers scare the living shit out of me._

_"They could care less,_

_"As long as someone'll bleed._

_"So darken your clothes,_

_"Or strike a violent pose._

_"Maybe they'll leave you alone,_

_"But not me!"_

"Shut up!" Aragorn growled.

_"The boys and girls in the clique,_

_"The awful names that they stick,_

_"You're never gonna fit in much, kid._

_"But if you're troubled and hurt,_

_"What you got under your shirt,_

_"Will make them pay for the things that they did!"_

_Aragorn let out another exasperated growl. But that only kept me going._

_"Teenagers scare the living shit out of me!_

_"They could care less!_

_"As long as someone'll bleed!_

_"So darken your clothes!_

_"Or strike a violent pose!_

_"Maybe they'll leave you alone!_

_"But not me!"_

"That's it!" he said. Aragorn stopped running, and grabbed my shoulders. "Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" He started shaking me as he spoke.

"Aragorn! Let her go!" Gimli barked.

He did. "Not more singing," he said, then he walked away. "We'll camp her for the night."

"Good job," Boromir said sarcastically to me.

I glared at him, then started unrolling my blankets.

Again, I couldn't sleep that night. I sat up for hours, staring out at the empty blackness.

Wait. Did something just move? I blinked, and stared at the spot. Yep, something was out there.

I looked around our small camp. The others were asleep. The fire was still going. That was good. I would be able to find my way back.

I got up as quietly as I could, and started walking in the direction of the moving figure.

Now, most people in this situation would be smart, and stay where they were until they knew what was moving. But not me. Nope, I have to be stupid, and walk right at it.

And where does it get me?

In the same fucking camp of Mary-Sues I stumbled upon so many weeks ago.

"Oh, shit," I said. And, being me, I just stood there in plain view.

"Then I heard someone scream, "There she is!" I turned to see Blondie. The bitch flying at me, eyes blazing with hate.

I managed to jump out of the way, but not before she scratched my cheek.

"Bitch!" I said. She lunged again, but I tripped her. She screamed as she fell to the ground.

"Get her, girls!" she screeched.

Before I could even move, I was surrounded my Mary-Sues.

_Gulp._

Blondie picked herself up off the ground. She was breathing hard. "Well, well," she said. "Look who came to visit."

She started pacing in circles around me. "I almost didn't recognize you. What happened to your hair?" Her voice was icy, but coated with sugar and honey. "Why did you cut it off? What, Legolas didn't want to sleep with you?" She laughed.

"Why don't you shove it up your ass, bitch," I said coolly.

She scowled at me. "Come, now, there must be some reason for your return. Did the fellowship reject you? Is that why you came running back to us?" She stepped in close to me, and ran a finger down the cut on my cheek. I could see blood on her finger. She threw me a look of disgust, and wiped it on my shirt.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food?" I asked sarcastically.

Oh, boy. That did it. She backhanded me across the face.

"I should be there, not you," she said, her voice full of venom now.

"Well, you ain't," I said. "You wouldn't have done anything. You wouldn't have saved Boromir. All you want is power."

She sneered at me. "You're right. I do want power. And I will get power." She paused. "Well, because I'm going to kill you, it won't hurt to tell you how I'm going to achieve this."

"Oh, really?" I said.

"Yes. I will save Rohan. The people will love me so much, they will beg me to be their queen. And then I will gain so much power, that I will be queen of Middle Earth."

I looked at her for a second, then burst out laughing. "Yeah, right!" She slapped me again, but I kept laughing.

"Bring me my dagger!" she screamed. One of the Sues broke the circle to get it.

Only when Blondie brought the dagger up to my throat, did I realize that she was serious. She was really going to kill me.

You know how most people say they see their life flashing before their eyes? Not happening. The only thought going through my mind was Pippin.

"Goodbye, bitch," Blondie said, giving me an evil smile.

She was just about to start cutting my throat, when the rest of the Sues suddenly started screaming. Blondie whirled around. Some of their stuff was on fire.

Suddenly, I was being jerked backwards. I turned to see a girl pulling me away from Blondie.

"Come on!" she whispered.

I didn't know if I could trust her or not. But, hey, if she was getting me away from Blondie, she must not be all Sue, right?

We ran as fast as we could away from the camp. I could hear Blondie's screams of, "Where'd she go? Somebody find her!" from behind me. But I didn't stop to turn. We just kept running.

Finally, when we were far enough away, we stopped to catch out breath.

"Thanks," I panted, looking at the girl.

"No problem," she said, smiling at me. "I've been looking for a chance to get away for weeks. But I couldn't do it at night because that---" she cursed Blondie so badly, "has got boarder patrols out."

"Pretty nice," I said, smiling at her choice of language. "Now, we have to get out of here."

"Yeah," she said. "Where are you camped?"

"Just over there," I said. "But we have to hurry. They'll be coming after us shortly."

We started running again. When we reached the camp, I started to wake the others.

"Aragorn, get up," I said sharply. "We have to leave." He didn't move. I kicked him in the side.

"Ow, damnit," he groaned. "What's happening?" He didn't seem to be totally awake yet.

"We have to go, and now!" I yelled.

"What's this?" Boromir was sitting up, rubbing his eyes.

"We're leaving," I said.

"Why?"

"Because we're going to be attacked by an angry mob of girls who want to kill me in a second."

"Oh."

When I got the four of them up, and got their gear packed, we started running. And you can bet we ran like hell.


	22. I'm a Girl!

We only stopped running when dawn broke. We all stood around panting. I felt bad for the girl that had rescued me, because she was in a tunic and sandals.

"And who is this?" Gimli grunted, jerking his head at the girl.

"Good question," I said. I turned to face her. "What's your name?"

"Lilith," she said.

"And how do we know that she's not one of _them_?" Aragorn said, narrowing his eyes.

"Her eyes," I said slowly. "Look."

It was true. Her eyes were not bright blue, purple, or any other weird color. No, they were brown.

"What about them?" Boromir prompted.

"They're brown. Mary-Sue's always have strange eyes. She's like me. We're regular people, just trapped in a Sue body."

The guys still eyes her wearily. I wasn't sure if they trusted her.

"And anyway, she set their stuff on fire to save me." I paused. "You _did _start the fire, didn't you?"

"Yes," she said.

I turned back to the others. They still didn't look very convinced. "Come on, guys. That should be good enough," I said. They were silent. "We can at least dump her when we get to Rohan."

"Fine," Aragorn said. I smiled at Lilith, and she grinned back.

"Let's get going," Gimli said. "We have waited long enough. And I don't fancy being caught by that lot." He jerked his head in the direction we had come from.

111

We ran for a few more hours. I was in one of my space-out trances, when I felt someone grab my shoulder. I turned, fist clenched, and took a wild swing. But Boromir merely caught me hand, and pulled me behind a rock.

He glanced at Aragorn, then back at me. He looked nervous.

"Riders of Rohan," Legolas whispered. "Be still."

All of us tried to flatten ourselves against the rocks. Lilith looked scared.

"It's alright," I said. "They only look tough."

I saw Boromir roll his eyes at me. I smacked him on the shoulder.

When the riders had passed out rock, Aragorn stepped out. "Riders of Rohan! What news from the Mark?"

"Not smart! Not smart!" I sputtered at him.

And, like on giant, angry bee, the riders turned on us.

"Great. Now look what you've done," I told Aragorn, whacking him, too, on the shoulder. What? I was in a whacking mood.

Then Eomer came riding into the center of the circle. "What business do two men, an Elf, a Dwarf, a girl, and a young boy have in the Riddermark?" he asked, throwing each of us a nasty look in turn.

"Girl!" I said, scowling at him. "I'm a girl!"

He turned to look at me. His eyes went to my hair, then dropped to my chest. "But you are dressed as a man."

"Good eye, buddy," I huffed.

"Jana, hush," Aragorn said. I glared at him. "We are not spies, if that is what you are thinking," Boromir said heatedly.

Oh, and Aragorn tells _me_ to hush?

I put my hand on Boromir's shoulder. Knowing him, he was about to do something stupid.

Eomer squinted at him for another moment. "Boromir, isn't it?" he said.

Boromir grunted, which Eomer took for a yes.

"Why do you travel in the lands of Rohan? Should you not be in Gondor, protecting your own people?"

Boromir hunched his shoulders, and glowered at him. "Now, children, play nice," I said. I heard some of the riders laugh at me.

"Silence!" Eomer shot at them, and they were quiet again. "Who are you?" He had turned his attention to Aragorn.

"Give me your name, Horsemaster," Gimli said, "and I shall give you mine."

Eomer dropped from his horse, and strode over to Gimli. "I would cut off your head, Dwarf," he spat, "if it stood but higher from the ground."

"You would die before your stroke fell," Legolas said, grabbing his bow and an arrow. Then all the riders pointed their spears at us.

"Good job," I told Legolas sarcastically. Aragorn put a hand on his bow and lowered it, while I smacked Legolas on the shoulder.

Then I turned to Eomer. "What? Do you have something against short people?"

He stepped in closer to me. I didn't even come up to his chest. "No." And so out glaring match began.

Aragorn finally stepped in. "Enough of this. We track a party of Uruk-hai westward across the plains."

Eomer turned to Aragorn. "The Uruks are destroyed. We slaughtered them during the night."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. What if me saving Boromir got Merry and Pippin killed? I turned away from Eomer, and tried to wipe my eyes without anyone noticing. I felt Boromir put a hand on my shoulder.

When Eomer removed his helmet, the riders withdrew their spears. Then he whistled, and five horses came forward. "Here," he said. "Their masters are no longer with us."

Then the riders took off again.

"Can you ride?" Boromir asked me.

"Yeah," I said. Thank God for horse camp when I was eight. "But I haven't been on a horse in years."

He shrugged, and handed me the reins to the gray horse.

I turned to Lilith. "Have you ever been on a horse before?" She shook her head, eyes wide. "You can ride with me, then."

I had to help Lilith onto the horse. She wasn't very good at this. Then I clambered on myself.

I heard Lilith inhale sharply when we started moving. This was _not _going to be a fun ride.


	23. Lilith

Author's Notes: Yay! I updated again. Sorry, but these won't be coming as often. Anyway, here you go!

Chapter 23:

Well, I can successfully say that I have updated the list of things that I am challenged at. To bring you up to speed, I am now heights-challenged, mentally-challenged, and talking-tree-challenged. Seriously, these things scare the living shit outa me.

"Gimli, lower your axe," Aragorn whispered. He did, and the trees stopped groaning.

"Why would the halflings ever come in here?" Boromir said quietly.

"Well, think about that, Bor---" I started whispering, then stopped mid-sentence. I stopped walking. "Why are we all whispering?" I said loudly.

"Hush," Aragorn said softly. I sighed, and rolled my eyes at him.

"What were you saying, Jana?" Boromir whispered.

"Was I saying something?"

"Yes, you were."

"Really?"

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes. I asked you why Merry and Pippin would come in here, and you told me to think about it."

"So?"

"So, why would they come in here?"

"Why do you think?" I said, suddenly remembering my train of thought.

"_I don't know._ Why else would I be asking you?"

"URUKS!" I half yelled. God, was it that hard to see?

Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas all turned around and glared at Boromir and me. We both hunched out shoulders, and glared at the ground.

"The White Wizard approaches," Legolas whispered.

Aragorn and Boromir drew their swords; Legolas his bow; Gimli his axe. I just stood there. I wasn't going to be stupid and get burned. It was a nice change, being smart for once.

"Jana," Boromir said, nudging me in the ribs with his elbow, "draw your weapon."

"Are you kidding me?" I whispered back. "I'm gonna let you guys do the fighting this time." He rolled his eyes at me, then turned his attention back to the glowing white light in front of us.

I watched as all of their weapons became really hot or broke. Then Gandalf started on his little evil wizard impression. The voice was pretty close, though.

"Show yourself!" Aragorn said.

The freaky white light faded, and --- oh, look who it is! I never would have guessed.

"Gandalf…" Aragorn said. The four of them bowed, while I totally spaced out.

"Ah-hem…" I looked up to see Gandalf with his head tilted at me. I looked on both sides of me to see the others on the ground.

"Oh." I attempted to bow, but ended up falling awkwardly to the ground, half landing on Boromir.

"Better," Gandalf said, as I managed to get back on my feet. Boromir cuffed me upside the head.

"I have come back to you now, at the turn of the tide," Gandalf said dramatically.

I swear to God I couldn't help it. Really, I couldn't! But I let out a little laugh, which turned into a snort. They all stared at me.

"Where are Merry and Pippin?" I asked Gandalf.

He looked at me for a moment. "Jana?"

"Yeah," I said, giving him a strange look.

"What happened to your hair?" he asked.

"Oh, I would tell you the hair-eating-warg one, but I already used that on Merry."

He shook his head, and grumbled something that sounded like "how many times has she been hit in the head?"

"So, where are they?" I prompted.

"Safe," he said.

I let out a few incoherent grumbles, and folded my arms across my chest.

Gandalf turned to Aragorn. "We must hurry," he said. "I must speak to Theoden."

And so we scrambled back out of the forest. Oh, joy. More talking trees.

111

"Who is that?" Gandalf asked. We were out of the forest, and back with the horses and smelly pile of burning orcs. Lilith had offered to stay behind and watch the horses. She doesn't like dark places.

"Oh, that's Lilith," I said. "We found her out on the plains. She kinda rescued me from an angry mob of girls intent on killing me." I shrugged, and Gandalf shook his head.

While we gathered out horses, Gandalf whistled, and Shadowfax made his dramatic entrance.

"Oh, wow," Lilith said, forgetting that she was only half way on the saddle of out horse. "He's beautiful."

"Yeah, sure," I grunted, still supporting her weight. "You gonna get on the damn horse or not?"

"Oh, sorry," she said, her face turning red.

When we were all on our horses, yeah, you guessed it. More endless hours of riding. Note the joy.

111

"So, where'd you come from?" I asked Lilith a couple hours later.

"America," she said. "New York, actually. Up near the boarder."

"Neat," I said. "I'm from England."

"Oh, I've always wanted to go to England," she said. "Did you live In London?"

"Yeah," I said. We were silent for a while. "So, how do you think you ended up here?"

"I don't know," Lilith said. "All I remember was that I was at a friend's house, and we were watching the first movie. I think I fell asleep. Then I woke up, and Marsela was standing over me."

"But you've seen the movies before?" I said.

"No. Only the first one. And I didn't even see the ending."

"Ho-boy," I said. "I've got a lot of explaining to do, don't I?"


	24. Damn those Sewer Gators!

"Yer'd find more cheer in a graveyard," Gimli said.

I looked around. Everything was dark, and the people were all in black. This was my kind of place.

I hopped off my horse, and turned to help Lilith down.

"Where are we?" she asked quietly.

"We're in Rohan," I whispered back. "Just stay close to me." She nodded her head, and took a deep breath.

We walked up the steps, and were immediately stopped by Hamma and Gamling. I like Gamling; he's a pessimist.

"Your weapons," Hamma prompted, looking at us.

Legolas handed over his bow, arrows, and knives. Then he threw the guards a nasty look.

Gimli reached into his belt, and pulled out about three axes. Then he handed Gamling another two from behind him. Seriously, how many weapons do you need to carry with you?

Boromir and Aragorn gave up their swords, Boromir's shield, and Aragorn's dagger.

Gamling totally ignored Lilith. "Your weapons, boy," he said to me.

"Arggg…" I growled. "I AM A GIRL! You wanna see?" I said, reaching up and attempting to untie the top part of my shirt. I had the intention of showing them that I was really a girl.

"No, that's quite alright, Jana," Gandalf said, placing a hand over mine.

"No, it's not!" I said. "I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm a boy!"

"Then you should have not cut your hair," he said, as Aragorn grabbed both my arms, and brought them behind my back. Boromir handed over my bow and sword. I didn't have any arrows left. Gamling raised his eyebrows at me.

"Your staff," Hamma said, turning to face Gandalf.

"Oh, you would not part an old man from his walking stick," Gandalf said, leaning heavily on it. Then he put out his other hand, and grabbed Legolas's shoulder.

When the rest of them started walking in, I stopped, and turned to face Hamma.

"Oh, by the way, if you see a large group of really pretty girls come through here, you can arrest them. They have committed crimes against Theoden, King."

"Under what charges?" Hamma asked, giving me a strange look.

"Uhh… Existence?"

Gamling shrugged from next to Hamma. "Good enough," he grunted.

I started to follow the others in, then stopped again. "Oh, you can kill their leader." I gave Hamma a quick grin, then entered the hall.

As I wandered in, I looked around. Beautiful architecture, pretty flags, and half dead king. Yep, everything was in its place.

"What's wrong with him?" Lilith whispered to me.

"Just watch," I said.

"I told you to take the wizard's staff!" Grima yelled. Again, I couldn't help myself. I let out another giggle. He looks so funny without any eyebrows.

Then the fighting started. None of the guards were hesitant to take a swing at me.

I ducked out of the way of a really big one, and easily tripped another. Then I jammed an elbow into the gut of a third.

Next thing I knew, Gandalf was jabbing his staff in the direction of Theoden, who was cackling madly. Then Gandalf let his gray cloak fall off dramatically, and a white light filled the room.

Eowyn came flying in, and Aragorn grabbed her. For once, she seemed like she didn't want to be near him. Well, that's going to change shortly.

Then Theoden slumped forward, and Eowyn broke free of Aragorn's grip. When Theoden sat up, it looked like he had just gone back in time a hundred years. Seriously, it was creepy.

Then Hamma came over and handed the king his sword. Oh, boy. Not a good idea to give angry king a pointy object.

So, naturally, he threw Grima down the steps.

"I only ever wanted to serve you, My Lord," Grima started. Hey, buddy? Babbling like an idiot isn't gonna help you.

"You would have me crawling on all fours like a beast!" Theoden growled. Then he brought his sword over his head.

Aragorn rushed forward. "No, Milord!" he said, grabbing Theoden's arm. Then he reached out to Grima. Oh, good job, Mr. I'm-nice-to-everyone-'cuz-it's-kingly. Well, it only let him get a real good look at your ring. So, Grima spit on Aragorn, and ran away. Yeah, knew that was coming.

When I finally tuned back in, I heard Theoden asking for his son. Oh, how I would love to slip outa here right now. I don't like funerals. I think it's because I fit in. I don't like to fit in.

111

You know the thing I said earlier about avoiding the funeral? Well, that's got the window, down a storm drain, and eaten up by an angry sewer gator.

I stood near the tomb next to Lilith and Boromir. Lilith looked uncomfortable, whole Boromir just looked sad. Even though he was from Gondor, these were still his people.

Then Eowyn started singing. The sound of the language wasn't very pretty, and it certainly didn't help that her voice was cracking, and she was crying.

When the tomb was sealed up, I finally managed to slip away. I was really tired, but it was the middle of the afternoon, so sleep was out of the question.

I wandered off to the stables. I perched myself of the fence, and just watched the horses. It wasn't very exciting, but it did give my body a chance to rest.

I had ditched Lilith with Eowyn. She had mentioned something about finding new clothes for us.

111

I don't know how long I had been sitting there. Maybe two hours.

"What are you singing?"

I jumped so much that I fell right off the fence, and into a big heap on the ground. When I looked up, I saw Boromir leaning on the fence, a smile on his face.

"Jackass," I muttered, picking myself up off the ground. "Seriously, it is too much to ask for a little notice when you're going to come up behind me?"

He chuckled. "Really, what were you singing? It was beautiful."

"Was I singing?" I asked. I really need to control my spacing out.

He hummed a little bit of it. "Oh," I said, recognizing the song. "It's called 'When You're Gone'." God, why was I singing Avril Lavigne? She was like the fakest punk singer ever. That's the only song I like by her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, as I regained my position on the fence.

"Yeah," I grunted. "My brain's just on overload, that's all." I shrugged.

Boromir didn't seem satisfied. "Jana, there's something bothering you. Tell me what it is." He hopped up on the fence next to me.

"It's nothing," I said. To be honest, I wasn't really sure what was bugging me.

"Jana---" Boromir started, but was cut off by a yell for help.

We both looked out to see Aragorn and Theoden running towards the kids on the horse.

Oh, goodie. Dark and depressing conversations, here I come.

**Author's Notes: I do not own "When You're Gone" or anything by Avril Lavigne. **


	25. The Ale Song

Author's Notes: OMG!!! 68 reviews!!! You guys are great. I got a day off from soccer, so I was able to update in the middle of the week! Disclaimer: I do not own "The Ale Song". Darren Shan wrote it, and I am only using it.

Chapter 25:

I was sitting at the table next to Gimli. Aragorn and Theoden were arguing over a bunch of crap. As usual, I was totally spacing out. 

"Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not," Aragorn said, throwing Theoden a nasty look. Theoden glared right back. Oww, it the battle of the scowling kings. Joy.

I looked over at Eowyn. She was staring at Aragorn. Oh, boy, here we go.

And so Theoden decided that we shall go tot Helms Deep. Shit. I knew it was coming, but still, shit.

Gandalf and Aragorn stormed out of the room. Boromir sighed, and threw himself into a chair next to me. He reached for a cup of ale, and drained half of it in one gulp.

"Oh, come on, laddie," Gimli snorted. "You can do better then that." He grabbed his mug, which was considerably larger, and downed it in a few seconds. Then he let out a large belch.

Eowyn made a face of disgust, and the little girl giggled.

"Gimli, you're gross," I said. "But I love you, anyway." I grinned at him.

"I do agree with Jana that you are gross," Boromir said, "but I would have to say that I am very far from loving you."

"I'd hope to the Valar you don't," Gimli snorted. Boromir punched him in the shoulder. I laughed, which turned into a snort after a few seconds.

"I think we can agree that the lass isn't exactly lady-like either," Gimli said.

"You bet your ass I ain't," I said, stealing Boromir's cup from him. I drained the last of the ale in it, then made a face. This stuff was a hell of the lot stronger than what I was used to drinking. Okay, I know I wasn't supposed to be drinking beer. I'm only 16, yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up.

"There you are," Eowyn said, moving from her position next to the children, and towards the door. I looked up, and my jaw dropped.

There was Lilith, dressed in completely new clothes. She was wearing a white blouse with long, puffy sleeves, and a brown vest over that. Her skirt was long, and a dark green color. It looked really nice with her messy red hair.

I glanced over at Boromir, who was gaping at her, mouth open.

"Oh, come on," I said with a small laugh. "You've been traveling with a woman for months, but you look shocked when you see one in a skirt."

He turned to me. "I've been traveling with a woman?" he said sarcastically. "Oh, sorry. I didn't think you count."

I smacked him on the shoulder, while Gimli laughed. Then he started choking on his pipe. Boromir thumped him on the back.

"That's a good man," Gimli said after he stopped coughing.

"Boromir? A man? Really?" Two can play at this sarcastic game, buddy. We all laughed.

"Do I want to know?" I looked up to see Legolas standing in the doorway next to Lilith. She blushed, and moved away from him.

Legolas glanced quickly at her, then raised his eyebrows. Lilith plopped down in a chair opposite from me.

I leaned in across the table. "Ohhh… Looks like somebody has a crush!" I whispered in a singsong voice. She scowled at me.

"See," Eowyn said, turning to me. "Doesn't she look lovely like that? Now, if only you would agree to wear a skirt…"

"No," I said, glaring at my empty cup of ale. "No skirts. No dresses. Stop asking me."

She sighed, and turned her attention back to the children.

I let out a long breath, and got up from my seat. "I'm going to find some more ale." I grabbed my cup, and another mug just for good measure, and headed towards the door.

"I'll come with you," Boromir said, jumping up and following me, mug in hand.

I heard Legolas mutter something as I walked by. I turned around to see his eyes on Boromir. I shrugged, then left the room.

111

"Okay. We're lost," I said, turning to face Boromir. We had been wandering around for about a half an hour, and we still hadn't found the ale.

"Yeah," he said, looking sadly down into his empty mug.

Then I heard a door open behind us. I turned around to see Eowyn.

"Eowyn!" I said, starting towards her. "Where's the ale? We need ale!"

She looked at me for a moment. "Alright. You can have your ale."

"Ah, thank you," I said, smiling.

"_But_," she said, grinning evilly at me. Oh, shit. There's always a _but_, isn't there? "Only if you let me give you a new skirt."

I scowled at her. "Oh, come on, Jana," Boromir said. "It's only a skirt."

"Fine," I huffed, throwing each of them a nasty look. "But the ale first."

"Go back to the dining hall," Eowyn said. "I shall fetch the ale. Oh, and you might want to wake up Master Dwarf. I fear that he has fallen asleep." She smiled at us, then disappeared down the hallway.

"Damn you, Eowyn," I muttered. "You are your freaking skirts."

"You would face down a small army of Uruk-hai, but you would fear wearing a skirt?" Boromir laughed.

I glared at him. "I'd like to see you wear one." That shut him up. "Come on. Let's go back and wake Gimli up. He'd kill us if we drank all the ale."

111

"Gimli? Gimli? G-I-M-L-I!" I shouted at the sleeping Dwarf. He jerked awake, and started swearing at me.

"Shut up, Gimli," I snapped. "We have ale!" I shoved a mug at him.

"Cheers," Boromir said, raising his own mug, and grinning at me. I raised mine, too, and drained most of it.

Then I looked over at Lilith. She was staring down into her own mug, looking at it like it had three heads.

"Drink, Lilith, drink," I said. "It's good for ya."

She gave it a sniff, and wrinkled her nose. "This stuff is _good for me_?"

I set mine down. "How old are you?"

"14," she said, looking up. "I've never drunk before."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "And you've never been inclined to try beer?"

"No," she said, giving me a strange look.

"Just try it, okay?" I said.

She took a small sip, and choked. I thumped her on the back, while she coughed. "Are you _trying _to kill me?" she sputtered.

Gimli let out a rich laugh, then belched again. I shook my head, and continued patting Lilith on the back.

111

"Ale! Ale!

"I drink like a whale!

"I am the prince!

"The prince of ale!"

"Jana," Boromir hiccupped, "shut up. I don't care… if you drink like a whale…" He was starting to slur his words now. "By the way… what's a whale…?"

It was a few hours later, and, to say the least, all the ale was gone. All of it. And we were rip-roaring drunk.

"Lilith… do you think… I drink like a whale?" I managed to say. I was slurring my words pretty badly, too. "Lilith?" I looked across the table at her. She was fast asleep, her head on her arms. "Well… she's gone…" I said, blinking hard, and trying to stop the world from spinning.

Boromir giggled --- yes, actually giggled --- from beside me.

"Oh, let's go find… Legolas…" I said. "Maybe he can use his… Elf powers to make us… sober, or something…" I tried to stand up, but fell right back down on top of Boromir. Why was it always Boromir? "Whoops…" I said, trying to steady myself, but with no luck.

"Jana? Boromir? What's going on?" Aragorn was standing in the doorway, looking confused.

I turned around a little too fast, and ended up on the floor on my butt. He came over and helped me to my feet. "I'm drunk," I informed him.

"Yes, I can see that," he said.

Boromir hiccupped again, and continued to blink at Aragorn. I think he was still trying to figure out who he was.

"Where did you get the ale from?" Aragorn asked, speaking slowly.

"Eowyn…" I said. "Oh… damnit. I forgot about my… skirt. Now see what you've done?" I wined at Aragorn.

He shook his head. "Come on, now, the lot of you. Let's get you out of the hall before the king gets back." He hooked one arm around mine, and did the same to Boromir.

Aragorn brought us into another room just off the hall that was filled with lots of blankets and rugs for sleeping. He deposited us there, and went back to get the other two.

"You know what?" I mused, picking at one of the rugs. "We're gonna have a killer hang-over tomorrow."

"Hmmm…" Boromir said, flopping down on the blankets. He fell asleep almost immediately after his head hit the ground.

Then Aragorn returned with Gimli and Lilith, who didn't seem to be totally conscious. They dropped down, and were out like lights.

Aragorn turned to leave.

"Aragorn?" I called. He turned around to look at me. "Hi…"

I remember him shaking his head, then I passed-out.


	26. It's Just a Freaking Skirt!

"Oww… Damn…" I moaned, sitting up, and grabbing my head. Well, at least I was right about one thing: _hangover._

I looked over to the far corner of the room. Boromir was crouched there, vomiting into a bucket. I head was still spinning, but I managed to crawl over to him, anyway.

When he stopped vomiting, he looked at me. I merely grabbed the bucket from him, and let it go.

"Alright," he said after I had stopped. "That's it. I'm off ale. No more."

"Ha! Like that's going to more than a few days," I laughed, then started vomiting again.

111

After a little while longer, and a few more passes of the bucket, we went out into the hall. Everyone was busy running around, and getting their stuff packed up.

"Man, I could really use a bath," I said, stretching my arms and yawning. Then I happened to make the mistake of inhaling while three guards pushed passed us, laden with crates. "On second thought, I don't think these people know what a bath is."

Boromir smiled. "It is not this bad in Gondor." He was silent for a few seconds. "Jana, where will you go once this is all over?"

I looked at him, and my brow furrowed. "I don't know," I said. "I'm not sure if I will be forced to go back to my homeland, or even if I will be able to get back there." 

"Well, there is always room in Gondor." He smiled, and gave me that glazed-over look.

"Why do you do that?" I asked suddenly.

"Do what?" he said.

"Look at me like that."

"Like what?"

I sighed, and tried my best to imitate the look.

"Do I?" he asked.

"_No,_ I'm lying to you, Boromir," I said. He blinked at me. "Sarcasm!"

Just then, Gimli stumbled out into the hall.

"Hey, Gimli," I yawned. He glared at me.

"Get enough ale last night?" he grunted.

I smiled at him. "Probably not. I was still conscious."

He chuckled. "Good answer, lass, good answer."

Boromir shook his head, and put a hand on my shoulder. "Come, Jana. Let's see what we can do to help."

111

"Oh, Jana!"

Okay, so hiding behind all the crap we're supposed to take isn't the best hiding place. Especially not when your hiding place is slowly disappearing around you.

"What?" I said, looking up, a grimace on my face.

"You promised me something last night."

"Damnit, Eowyn. Do you think I remember anything from last night?"

"Well, I gave you the ale, and you promised to wear the skirt."

I swore loudly. "Do I have to?"

"Yes," she said. "Come. I'll find one for you now."

I shot her a Death-Glare, and slowly got up of the ground.

111

"No, not that one, either," Eowyn said about a half an hour later. We had been sorting through all of her skirts and dresses this whole time, and we still hadn't found anything for me.

Eowyn sighed. "Lilith was so much easier." She glared at my hair.

"Hey," I said, throwing my hands up. "I wasn't planning on wearing a freaking shirt when I cut it off."

"Hi, Eowyn," Lilith said, walking into the room. "Oh, hi, Jana. What are you guys doing?"

"Looking for a skirt for me," I sighed. "And it's _not_ working."

She shrugged. "You'll find something, eventually."

"Or Eowyn could be nice, and let me off," I said, glaring at her.

"No," Eowyn said. "Oh, how about this?" She held up a dark purple skirt.

I considered it for a moment. "Fine," I said, grabbing it from her.

"Here," she said, shoving some more material at me. "It's the shirt that matches it."

"Give me a minute," I said. When I walked behind the changing screen, I heard the other two giggling.

"Oh, wow, Jana. That looks great on you!" Lilith said, clapping her hands, and jumping up and down when I came back out.

"It does look nice," Eowyn agreed, nodding her approval.

I gave a little swirl around. The skirt fanned out as I moved. It was really pretty. Damnit. There I go again. _I do not call things pretty!_

I grabbed my clothes. It felt a little weird to move in this. "I'm leaving," I said. "So not interested in girl-talk right now." Eowyn and Lilith shared a look as I left the room.

111

I didn't really know where I was going to go. I didn't want to run into Gimli because I knew he would make some sort of obnoxious comment about my new outfit. I didn't think that I would see Aragorn or Gandalf; they were too busy running around and doing their own crap to care about me.

I marched off to the stables. It was the only place I could be by myself at the moment.

I hopped up on top of the fence.

"Jana?"

"Argg…" I muttered, turning around to look at who was talking to me. It was Legolas. "What do you want now?" I asked.

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "Are you wearing a skirt?" 

"Yeah, pretty-boy," I grunted. "What's it to ya?"

"I was only asking," he said, his tone becoming distinctly colder. "You look very nice like that."

"Yeah, well, go bother someone else," I huffed, hunching my shoulders.

"Are you bothering her, Legolas?"

I turned around and glared at Boromir, who was heading towards us. Then he stopped short. His eyes went from my face, to my skirt, then back.

"You're wearing a skirt," she said, gaping at me.

"Stop it, Boromir," I said. "You look like a goldfish."

"You actually look like a lady," he said, totally ignoring my comment from the future. They were all kinda used to that by now.

I let out another little scream, and jumped down from the fence.

"I meant no offence," Boromir said quickly, throwing his hands up.

"If you don't want to offend, don't open your mouth," I snapped. Then I started to storm away from the both of them.

"Really, what do you see in her?" I heard Legolas say. Okay. That made me stop. _What did he just say? _

I doubled back a little bit, and positioned myself out of sight behind the stable wall.

"I don't know," Boromir said. "There's just… something about her…"

Okay. He's just hung-over. Nothing to worry about, Jana, nothing to worry about. That's just what ale does to ya.

I shrugged, and headed back to find Lilith and Eowyn, and get out of this damn skirt.


	27. Boredom

**Author's Notes: OMG! I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in months!!! School, soccer, basketball, softball, and jazz band keep me so busy. I've also been working on a new story that I should be posting soon. Thanks for waiting so long! Here you go:**

Chapter 27:

"One… Two… Three!" I shouted. Lilith started to move forward, but flinched as I advanced on her. "No, no, no!" I said, stopping short. I had to duck out of the way of the sword that I had found for her. "What have I told you, Lilith?"

She sighed, and dropped her sword on the ground. "I know, I know," she muttered, then sank to the ground herself.

"Never stop when you are attacking. Do you understand?"

She nodded her head sadly. "I don't know, Jana. I just don't think this fighting thing is for me." She looked up at me. "I can't do it."

We had been practicing for about two hours now, and Lilith had not improved one bit. "I guess you're right," I said. "But you have to be able to stab on orc if it's charging at you, right?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Okay. Let's stop. You've had enough for one day."

"I think I've had enough for a lifetime," she grumbled as she started walking away.

"Jana?" I turned to see Eowyn approaching, pot in hand. She stopped in front of me, looking concerned. "Are you alright?" she asked. "Why do you look like that?" My eyes were fixed on the pot, which I knew contained 'stew'. My look must have been one of sheer terror.

"Uh, yeah… I'm fine…" I said, wrenching my eyes off the pot. I looked up at her, a fake smile plastered on my face. "What have you got there?" I asked, attempting to be nice to her.

"Oh, I've made some stew," she said, beaming. "You look like you could use some food."

That was true. We had been traveling for a while, and I was pretty hungry. But _not _hungry enough to even think of eating that crap. But I didn't want to hurt her feelings. So I accepted a small bowl anyway.

"Do you think that Lord Aragorn would care for some?" she asked.

"I think he might," I offered. "But I know that Gimli would care for some as well."

"Of, of course," she said. Eowyn flashed a quick smile at me, then hurried off to find Gimli.

I chuckled to myself, and I dumped the stew on the ground, and wandered off to find Legolas.

111

"What 'ya doin'? I asked loudly, coming up behind Legolas.

The arrow that he had been preparing to launch at his target missed completely, and almost took Gimli's head off.

He turned around slowly to look at me, a grimace on his face. "Jana, must you do that?" he asked. His voice was silky, but I could detect a hint of venom.

"Yes," I answered simply.

He glared at me, shook his head, and turned back to his target practice. I just sat down on the ground and watched him. After about three more shots, Legolas turned back to me. "Must you watch me?"

"Yes, my fine Elven friend," I said mockingly. "For you see, I am totally bored out of my mind, and have nothing better to do."

Legolas let out a small growl, grabbed his bow and remaining arrows, and stormed away. He brushed roughly passed Boromir, who raised his eyebrows at the elf. Boromir came over and sat down next to me. "What did you do to anger him now?" he asked.

I laughed. "I am afraid that it my lack of something to do that bothers him. But, after all, he is an elf, and therefore does not showoff to others when he is practicing, like a man who might just happen to be sitting next to me does." We laughed. Then I stopped. "But, seriously, I feel like there is nothing to do but sleep and walk."

"This shall pass, Jana," Boromir said, laying a hand on my shoulder. It sent shiver throughout my whole body.

I looked up at him, suddenly remembering that we would be attacked by wargs tomorrow. "It will," I said, nodding my head firmly.


	28. All My Fault

**Author's Notes: Yay! An update! Again, sorry. I know last chapter was kinda a filler chapter, but this one is better. I'm on school vacation this week, so I'll try to write some more.**

Chapter 28:

A hand on my arm suddenly jerked me awake. I sat bolt upright, heart beating insanely fast, and looked to my right to see Lilith. "Jesus-fucking-Christ, Lilith, don't do that to me," I panted, lying back down.

"Sorry," she said, wincing and drawing back slightly. "But I had to wake you up."

"You _had _to?" I asked, glaring at her. "Think about that one, Lilith. You seriously _had_ to?"

"Yes," she said. "We're leaving in a few minutes."

"So leave me behind," I said, rolling over, and jamming my eyes shut to block out the bright sunlight. "I'll catch up."

"No, you won't, lass," Gimli said, walking over to us, and nudging me with his foot. "Get up, we're leaving."

"Gimli, if you keep kicking me, I swear to God…"

I suddenly felt a chill go over my entire body. I opened my eyes, and realized that I was in the air. I spun around to see Aragorn holding me. "Put me down," I growled.

He only laughed. "I fear if I do that, you shall fall back to sleep." He carried me over to my horse, and stuck me on top of it.

"I hate you, Aragorn, I hope you know that," I said, scowling at him as he untied my horse from its stake in the ground.

"Hmm…" he said, not really paying any attention to me at all. I rolled my eyes, and swore at him under my breath.

111

A few hours later, Eowyn said that we were getting close to Helms Deep. Oh, goody. That meant getting closer to the orc ambush. Note the joy.

And, sure enough, I happened to look up just in time to see Hamma and Gambling ride ahead of everyone else to scout. Well, goodbye, Hamma. I would offer to try to save you, but I would probably end up killing myself in the process. Not good.

I reached down and grabbed my sword that was tucked under the blankets attached to my saddle. "What are you doing?" Aragorn asked, guiding his horse alongside mine. I didn't answer. I just shook my head slightly, gripped my sword tighter, and stared straight ahead.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but Legolas suddenly yelled back to us that we were under attack. Everyone started to panic. "Jana! Jana, what's going on?" Lilith was standing beside my horse in the place that Aragorn had just vacated.

"Lilith, stay with Eowyn!" I barked.

"What---" she started, but I cut her off.

"Just stay with Eowyn," I repeated.

"Lass, let's go!" Gimli shouted as Lilith scurried off to find Eowyn. Wow, Gimli finally got his horse to move forward. I glanced back at Lilith, then kicked the sides of my horse, who started galloping forward.

"Oh, shit. What have I gotten myself into?" I muttered under my breath.

I was in a sort of daze, riding around, and trying not to be bulldozed over by a charging warg. You know, these things looked really cute in the movie, but they are butt-ass ugly in person. And they smell pretty gross, too.

"Oh, Jesus!" I said, pulling on the reins of my horse, trying to avoid the warg that had just charged in front of me. I seriously was _not _interested in fighting these things. _Maybe if I just ride around and have my sword out, I'll look like I'm fighting…_

That worked pretty well for me. When most of the wargs and their riders were gone, I found Gimli trapped under a couple. I jumped off my horse, and ran over to help him. "Thanks, lass," he grunted as we pushed the last one off of him. "The damn things just died on top of me."

I laughed. Gimli made almost everything funny, even when it really wasn't.

Gimli started to look around, eyes narrowed. "Where's Aragorn?" he asked. The two of us ran over to where Legolas was standing over the dying orc.

"You lie," Legolas growled as we approached. The orc just laughed, then he slowly lay back, and all life left him. Legolas bent down and pulled something shiny from his hand: Aragorn's pendant.

Gimli was staring over the edge of the cliff, looking at the river below. Theoden came over, and put a comforting hand on Legolas's shoulder.

"Jana, where is Aragorn?" Boromir asked, running over. Even though I thought that I knew that he would be alright, I started to get choked up. I pointed down to the river. Boromir inhaled sharply. "He didn't fall," Boromir said, as if trying to convince himself that this had not happened. "We have to go after him. He still may be alive."

"No," I said, tears welling up in my eyes. "I don't know if he is." A scary thought hit me in that moment. What if Aragorn was really dead? "It's my fault," I choked out. "If he's dead it's all my fault. Me being here probably just cost Aragorn his life." I was outright sobbing now.

Boromir pulled me into a comforting hug. "This is not your fault, Jana," he said.

"Yes it is!" I sobbed, pulling away from him. "It's because I'm here. I wasn't supposed to happen. And now Aragorn's dead!" I fell to the ground, by whole body shaking with sobs. So this is what it's like to have a nervous break-down.

"Come here, Jana," Legolas said, scoping me up into his arms. I was surprised that he could hold my weight, seeing as all elves look so frail. He placed me gently on his horse, while Gimli brought mine over, and they tied the two horses together. Then Legolas hopped up on the horse behind me, and we started moving forward. I closed my eyes tightly. I had the right idea when I told Lilith to leave me behind this morning.


	29. You'll See

"She's hasn't moved for hours."

"But what's wrong with her?"

"Do I look like I know? She is just probably suffering from all of this stress. It might clear up on its own; it might not…"

"But surely there is something that we can do for her."

I could hear the voices of Eowyn and Boromir bickering above me. They sounded far away to me.

"I am afraid that there is nothing that we can do for at the moment," Eowyn said.

"What do you mean there is nothing we can do for her?" Boromir's voice had risen and had become colder.

"Lord Boromir, I insist that you stop this. Your arguing will wake the poor thing!"

"Tool late," I groaned, opening my eyes. I had a killer head ache, but rolled over to look at the two of them anyway. Eowyn was standing with her hands on her hips, glaring at Boromir. Boromir was glaring right back, his arms folded across his chest. 

"Now see what you've gone and done!" Eowyn said, throwing her arms up, and walking over to the bed I was in.

"It wasn't just him," I said. "It was both of you. You sound like a couple of small children."

Eowyn narrowed her eyes at me. Then she rounded on Boromir. "Out!" she barked.

Boromir started to splutter. "Are you throwing me out?" he demanded.

"Yes," Eowyn said, a fierce look in her eyes. "Jana needs her rest, and she shall get none of it with you around."

"Both of you, out!" I shouted over them. They both turned back to me, listing reasons why they should stay. I shook me head. "Ow, damnit," I said, clutching at it. You can bet that made it feel really good.

Eowyn reached over and touched my head, but I drew back. "Get away from me, Eowyn," I growled.

"But someone needs to look after you," she protested.

"Yes, but not you, and not him," I said. "If I need a doctor, go and find Lilith for me. At least her voice isn't so piercing." I glared at Eowyn.

She shot me one last resentful stare. "Fine," she said, getting up and walking towards the door. "Come," she said to Boromir, "we must find _Dr. Lilith_." Boromir made a noise of protest, but Eowyn grabbed his arm, and dragged him out of the room, slamming the door behind them.

I swore, and flopped back down on my pillows. What was wrong with me now? Oh, let me guess: Legolas accidentally jabbed an arrow into by back when we were riding to Helms Deep. No; that didn't sound like something Legolas would do.

Just then I heard the door open again, and Eowyn poked her head in. "Eowyn, get out," I growled.

"I just thought you might like some more pillows," she said, entering the room with about three in her arms, I turned my head to look at the small mountain of pillows already behind me.

"No pillows," I grunted. "Leave."

"Alright," she said, throwing me another nasty look before leaving for a second time.

What else could be wrong with me? Maybe Legolas and Boromir were arguing, and Legolas let me slip off of his horse. Then Gimli probably ran me over. Yeah, that sounded right. The arguing I can see happening, and Gimli can't control that horse to save his life.

Then I heard the door open again. "Eowyn, out means out!" I yelled, grabbing the candle that was on the table next to my bed, raising it above my head, and preparing to throw it at her.

"Wrong person to be attacking," Lilith said smoothly as she entered the room.

"Oh, it's you," I said, putting my make-shift weapon back down. "I thought Eowyn might be back with more blankets for me or something like that."

"Oh, believe me, she tried," Lilith said, sitting down on my bed as I propped myself into a sitting position. "But I said that Legolas was looking for her, just to get her out of the way."

I smiled. "Thank you."

"So," she said, "is your head feeling alright?"

"Yeah, I guess," I said. "What happened to me, anyway?"

Lilith shrugged. "Legolas said you probably got hit in the head during the ambush, because you were rambling and crying after."

"What?" I said. "I didn't get hit in the head. I didn't even swing my damn sword!"

"Oh," Lilith said.

"So I had a bit of a meltdown at the end," I said heatedly. "That doesn't mean that I'm hurt!" I stopped suddenly, looking intently at Lilith. "But I think something might have gone wrong," I said.

Lilith looked confused. "What? What happened?"

I sighed. "We happened, Lilith, we happened. We've been changing the plot line. You, not so much. But me…" I shook my head. "Boromir was supposed to die at Amon Hen, and I saved him. I freaking kissed Pippin, and I told Frodo that I just randomly fell out of the sky and ended up here! That is fucking changing the plot line!"

Lilith was silent, watching me start to cry with a soft expression on her face. "But it's not all bad, is it?" she finally asked. "I mean, you saved Boromir's life. That was good."

"No, Lilith," I said. "That wasn't good at all. Because I saved Boromir, Faramir might not help Frodo and Sam. Oh, this is bad, this is really bad… You don't understand, but everything we do affects Middle Earth. Just because I maybe save one person who was supposed to die, ten more might die instead." I gulped. "Or worse; maybe a hundred."

"Don't think like that, Jana," Lilith said. "Maybe because you saved Boromir, he can save more lives."

"And maybe he can't," I grumbled.

"You'll see," Lilith said. "He will."


	30. It's Just Too Much

**Author's Notes: OMG!! 3 updates!!! Yay! 91 reviews! You guys rock! Thanks you all for reviewing. **

**Chapter 30: **

After several hours of arguing with Eowyn, she finally agreed to let me roam around.

I didn't really want to be around anyone, so I went and found an area of the wall that nobody was in. A few people would bustle by every once in a while, and they would send me strange looks. I wasn't sure if it was because of my hair, or my height, or just because I was sitting there by myself, knees tucked up to my chest.

I just sat there and stared out at the open plains before me, where I knew a huge battle would be taking place tonight. I shuddered at the thought. How many lives would be lost tonight? Would Aragorn survive? Will the elves still come?

Elves. Haldir. Shit.

That was it. I couldn't take it any longer. Maybe if was better that I just died. That way I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. I wouldn't be a glitch in the plot any longer.

I stood up and looked over the edge of the wall. I gulped. It was a very long way to fall.

I took a deep breath, and hopped up on top of the wall. I closed my eyes. I wouldn't scream; I wouldn't make a sound.

"Jana?" I spun around quickly to see who was behind me; too quickly. I lost my balance, and started to fall. Legolas grabbed my arms and pulled me down. "What were you doing up there?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, and cocking his head.

"Oh," I said quickly, "I was just looking at the view." Looking at the view? How lame of an excuse was that? Good one, brain. See how much longer I'll ask you for help.

"Really?" Legolas said, his head still cocked at me. "But you can see the view fine standing right here."

"Easy for you to say," I grumbled. "You're almost three feet taller than me!" Thank you, shortness!

He shrugged. "So I am," he said. "But there is nothing much to look at out there."

"Why the hell do you care what I was doing?" I asked, glaring at him. "I don't need a babysitter, Legolas."

He blinked at me. "There is no need to angry with me," he said.

I sighed. "You're right," I said, hunching my shoulders, and sliding down the wall until I was sitting on the ground. "I can't believe that I'm saying this, but you're right."

Legolas sat down opposite me. "Tell me what is wrong."

"There's nothing wrong," I said, shaking my head. "I'm fine."

"You're always 'fine'," he said. "No one is perfect, Jana."

"And thanks for pointing out that I'm far from it," I said. Legolas sent me a reproachful look. "Sorry," I said. "It's just that… I don't know…" I put my head in my hands. "I don't know why I'm like this."

"Like what?" he said. "I see nothing wrong with the way you are acting, besides the fact that you are upset about it."

"But that's it," I said. "I'm upset. I don't get upset. I don't do… emotions."

"Everyone does. I may just take a little longer for some."

"But I was fine in Rivendell," I said, looking back up at the elf. "And now I'm not."

"Just think how much you've been through," he said. "You've seen battle, you've seen death, and…" he hesitated, "you've see love."

I looked into his eyes. There was a sparkle there like he knew something that I didn't.

I felt tears well up in my eyes. I raised my hand to wipe them away. "Legolas, can I ask you something?" He looked at me. "When did I get like this?" I asked. "When the hell did I get like this?"

His eyes smiled at me. "I think you already know that."

111

A few hours later, I was with Lilith and Eowyn, moving sacks of food around. I heard Eowyn suddenly inhale, and she became very stiff. I looked up to see Aragorn headed towards Theoden's hall.

"Aragorn!" I screamed, dropping my sack full of potatoes. They spilled everywhere, but I just left them. I sprinted towards him, pushing random people out of my way. I hit him with full force, causing him to take a few steps back, and hugged him. "I thought I killed you," I said, letting go of him.

"What?" he said, rubbing his neck where I had grabbed him.

I was a deer in the headlights. Damnit, brain, look what you did again! "Uh… you smell like shit?" I said quickly, attempting and failing to make it sound convincing.

He blinked at me. "Alright then…" Suddenly Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir were at our sides.

"You look awful," Legolas said after embracing Aragorn.

"So I've already heard," he laughed, looking at me. His face suddenly turned more serious. "But I must see the king," he said quickly. "An army of Uruk-hai approaches."

All of their expressions changed to those of shock. "How many," Gimli asked. "A thousand?"

"No," Aragorn said, shaking his head. "More… Much, much more."

Boromir and I exchanged a look before we followed the others into the hall.


	31. If You Want to Live

**Author's Notes: I only have 2 days left of vacation. :( So sad… But I'll try to keep updating on the weekends. We're almost at 100 reviews!!! Yay!**

**Chapter 31:**

"My Lord, I beg you to listen to me. Saruman's army is tens of thousands strong. They shall be here by nightfall. We must prepare!"

I glanced up at Theoden, who had begun pacing. Boromir nudged me in the arm. "This shall not go over well," he whispered. I nodded. I was only semi paying attention, because I had a major headache from listening to Theoden and Aragorn's arguing.

"These people are not soldiers," Legolas said quietly, leaning his head in closer to me. "They have mastered the horse; not the sword."

"Why to be optimistic there, buddy," I said sarcastically, rubbing my temple with my fingers. Boromir chuckled.

"But these are no mindless orcs," I heard Gimli say. "They are Uruk-hai." Theoden stopped pacing for a moment to look at Gimli, then continued.

I sighed, and leaned forward on the table that we were sitting at. I rested my head on my arms, and closed my eyes tightly. I was so not in the mood to listen to the battle of the crabby-ass kings: part four, or whatever argument they were on now.

111

"Jana? Jana? Hello?" I could feel somebody shaking me, but I didn't want to move.

"What?" I grumbled, opening an eye to see Boromir standing over me.

"We are preparing for battle," he said.

I lifted my head up and opened both of my eyes to get a better look at him. "Boromir from that expression on your face, it almost looks like you're happy about this. Please tell me that you are not happy."

"Oh, but I am," he said, a smile spreading across his face. "'Tis an opportunity to crush our enemies, and rid this world of some of the evil that inhabits it."

"Opportunity to rid the world of evil my ass," I said. "More like opportunity to get killed."

Boromir didn't seem to hear what I said. He just kept smiling. "Up you get, and off to find some armor that fits you. But that might be hard because of your height."

"No, that's quite alright, Boromir," I yawned. "I don't think it's such a good idea for me to fight. Why don't you leave me here, and wake me up when the battle's over."

Boromir shook his head, and hauled me up out of my seat. "Armor. Now. March," he said. I shot him a Death Glare, then wandered off to find Aragorn.

111

"Well, this is going to be fun," I said sarcastically, as Aragorn tugged some chain mail over my head. "I mean, wicked big army of angry orcs, people who are scared shitless about fighting, and rain. What else could we ask for?" I was on a pretty sarcastic roll here, If you couldn't tell.

"I understand you're not the only one who shares this opinion," Aragorn said coolly, sending a look at Legolas. Apparently I had missed their little hissy-fit.

"Rain?" Legolas said, totally ignoring Aragorn. "But the sky is clear." He cocked his head at me. I wish he'd stop doing that already.

"Uh, yeah… I mean, with our luck, it is going to rain," I said, shooting him a nasty look, and hoping nobody noticed me scrambling for an excuse. Legolas nodded his head slowly, his gaze never moving from my face.

"There you go," Aragorn said, tugging on a few strings on the vest that I was wearing over my chain mail. He stepped back to get a better look at me.

"Am I supposed to be able to move?" I said, attempting and failing to lift my arms above my head. Aragorn had put so many layers of protective stuff on me, I could barely move my arms. How the hell was I supposed to fight?

Aragorn laughed. "You'll manage," he said, patting me on the back.

"Yeah, right," I grumbled, heading off to find a place with less people in it. I was starting to get claustrophobic in here.

After a few minutes of wandering, I ran into Lilith. "Hey," I said, "shouldn't you be getting into the caves with everyone else?"

"Not everyone's going," she said, giving me a reproachful look.

"Trust me, Lilith, I would give anything to be in the caves instead of being out here."

"What's stopping you, then?" she asked. Her voice had turned cold as ice.

For once I couldn't think of some snarkey remark to make. "But you said that you didn't want to learn how to fight. I offered, and you said that you couldn't do it."

"There's a very fine line between I don't want to do something and I can't do something," she huffed.

"Why are you arguing with me about this?" I asked. I was starting to get angry now. "Lilith, I've had months worth of training. You tried using a sword maybe once or twice, then you gave up. Now whose fault is that?"

"Maybe it was the teacher's," she grumbled, looking away from me.

I stared at her. How could she possibly think that it was my fault that she couldn't fight? "I can't teach you what you don't want to learn," I said. "Why don't you understand that?"

There was a long pause. "I don't want to feel like a sheep anymore," she said, finally looking back up at me. "I'm always being herded around here and there. 'Stay with Eowyn, Lilith. Stay with Eowyn.' Why can't I ever go with you for once? This isn't just _your _story, Jana. You're going to have to share the spotlight sometime. You don't get your fairytale ending, the one where you save everybody and get the guy, just because you were here first."

I could have slapped Lilith then. How dare she say that this whole thing was about me! "Hey, I'm not here for the glory or for the guy!" I said heatedly. "I'm only here to get my ass out alive. Don't you ever think for a second that I would do something like a Mary-Sue! I'm here for me, that's it!"

We glared at each other. Suddenly the noise of a horn cut through the silence. The elves were here! I glanced over my shoulder to see Aragorn and Boromir running towards the gates, Legolas and Gimli right behind them. I took one final look at Lilith. "Get in the caves if you want to live," I said, before I turned my back on her, and followed the others.


	32. My Insides are Doomed if I Keep This Up

**Author's Notes: I'm back in school tomorrow, so no more frequent updates. ****Sad But I have like a 4 week break before softball starts for me, so I'm going to have more time to write. Thanks again to everyone for reviewing!!! **

**Chapter 32: **

By the time I had got down to the elves, they had already exchanged man-hugs. Damn. I loved watching Haldir's expression.

He looked up and smiled at me. I nodded at him. "Good to see that you're alive," he said lightly. "I often wondered if you had driven the others to the point where they could no longer tolerate you." He chuckled.

"Well, unfortunately, you have just reached that point with me," I said. I suddenly jumped off of the remaining steps that I had stopped on, and propelled myself at Haldir. I grabbed him in a hug, but knocked him over in the process, so that we both ended up on the ground. The elves sniggered.

"Oh, so this is the thanks I get for saving your life?" Haldir said sarcastically, pushing me off of him, and jumping back up.

My smile vanished as I stood up. "Not quite," I said quietly. "Not quite."

111

"This is bad… This is really bad…" I muttered, ringing my hands together. "I'm gonna die here… We're gonna die…" I turned to look at Boromir. His face was expressionless as he stared out at the plains in front of us. "Boromir, why aren't you freaking our right now?" I demanded.

"There is nothing to worry about, Jana," he said.

"Nothing to worry about?" I sputtered. "How in bloody hell can you say that? There's a freaking huge Uruk-hai army coming to freaking kill us! Do you remember our last run-in with these things, Boromir? You almost freaking died!"

"They were close to taking my life," he said.

"Well, good thing close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades," I grumbled.

Boromir finally turned his head to look at me. "What?"

"Never mind."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "You say the oddest things sometimes," he commented. I snorted, and looked out over the plains. In the distance, I could see the faint light from torches. The Uruk-hai were coming.

Aragorn was suddenly at our sides. "Is everything alright back here?" he asked, looking around. I glanced back over my shoulder, and nodded. Boromir and I were on a section of wall that close to the keep. If all other defenses failed, we were the last resort.

"We are fine," Boromir said.

"We as in the two of us," I said, throwing another look over my shoulder. "'Cuz those guys sure as hell don't look fine to me." It was true. The small group of about fifty men behind us looked like they would die from fright if I went over and poked one of them.

"Give them strength," Aragorn said, patting me on the shoulder before he left.

"Give them strength?" I spluttered. "How the hell am I supposed to give them strength if I have non myself?"

"You have strength, Jana," Boromir said, placing a hand on my arm.

I suddenly felt very dizzy. My stomach had been hurting for the last hour or so. "Yeah, whatever…" I said, reaching up and rubbing my head. "Hey, Boromir, I don't feel so good…" He turned to look at me right when I vomited. "Sorry," I said a few seconds later, wiping my mouth.

"You know if you keep doing that, you're going to wretch up your insides," he said, looking at me like I had six heads.

I heard a loud cough from behind us. I turned around to see all fifty men staring at me. "Uh, sorry," I said, raising my hand and giving a little wave. "Uh, yeah… That was not a good example of strength. Um, take note of that." They just stared blankly at me. "Do it!" I yelled. They all jumped, and nodded their heads. "Fear is vomit," I said. "Try to hold it in." I paused. "But if you can't, then at least spew it up on an orc. It might make it hesitate just long enough for you to jab your sword into its gut…" I paused again. "Then again, it might just kill you when you're retching…" I shrugged, and looked at Boromir. He shook his head, and put his face in his hands.

"Well, what was I supposed to say to them?" I said, lowering my voice, and turning back to the plains. I still felt a little dizzy, but I tried to push it out of my mind. This was going to be a long night…

111

Boromir and I stood there in silence for a very long time, watching the lights move closer. Then the sky opened up, and it started pouring on us. "Well, that was convenient," I said, looking up. "Ow, damnit!" I had got a raindrop in my eye. Oh, well. I guess I deserved it. "What, you're not going to make any comment on my stupidity?" I asked, nudging Boromir in the arm. He didn't make any response. "Boromir, are you even listening to me?"

He turned to look at me then. "Jana, if I don't survive this---" he started to say, but I cut him off.

"Oh, buddy, you better survive this, or I'm going to bring you back from the dead just to kill you again." He didn't smile. "Oh, come on," I said. "That was funny."

"Jana, please," he said. "This is serious. There's something I want to tell you…"

Just then there came a noise that sounded like thunder. The Uruk-hai were here. They were smashing their spears and other crap on the ground. I could hear Aragorn shouting something in Elvish in front of us.

Suddenly a single arrow came flying off of the wall, and hit one of the Uruks in the neck. It made a horrible squealing noise that could even be heard back here. It fell to the ground and lay motionless.

Then the Uruk-hai started surging forward. "Yeah, I've got something to tell you too, Boromir," I said. "Draw your sword."


	33. The Battle

Author's Notes: Yay

**Author's Notes: Yay! Sorry I took so long to update. I really wanted to fit most of the battle into one chapter, and I as having serious writer's block. That and softball is going on, along with jazz band, girl scouts, and a bunch of other crap. My life is WAYtoo busy. Lol. **

Chapter 33:

The Elves fired wave after wave of arrows at the approaching Uruk-hai at Aragorn's command. The sound of the stampeding Uruks was defining. The rain came steadily down on us, soaking us to the bone.

"Here we go," I muttered, holding my sword up. I was shaking pretty badly now; it was a mix of coldness and fear.

I looked out at the Uruk-hai army again. It seemed to extend for miles. I gulped. I wasn't going to survive this.

I suddenly felt a hand on my arm. I looked at Boromir. He gave me a look that I couldn't quite stick my finger on what it was conveying. He suddenly gave a strangled yell, and charged forward.

"Boromir, what the hell are you doing?" I called after him, but he didn't turn around. "You stupid moron, you're going to get yourself killed," I muttered.

I suddenly realized something. The Uruks would never get back here. Aragorn had put me here for a reason; he had never intended me to fight. And Boromir was just here to baby-sit me. "Oh, Aragorn, you'll get yours, buddy, believe me, you'll get yours," I said aloud, not really caring who might hear me, even though that might be a little hard to do over the rain.

I turned around and looked at the men behind me. They were all staring after Boromir. "Well, are you stupid, or something?" I yelled at them. "He's your freaking captain! You're supposed to follow him into battle!" They just stood there. "Charge!" I screamed as I took off after Boromir. I heard running footsteps behind me, and knew that the men were coming. And if they died? Oh, well. They're not my problem now.

I kept running, trying to find Boromir. I finally spotted him after a while, and ran over to him. "Jana, go back," he said, not even turning to look at me. His gaze was fixed on the approaching ladders.

"No," I said forcefully.

"I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Well, if you don't want to see me get hurt, you should have stuck me in the caves. I think I can take care of my self, thank you very much."

"Jana, now is not the time for this," he growled.

I was about to make some sort of rude comment to him when there was a loud _bang!_ I looked back at the wall. Uruks were clambering up on the ladders… and one of them was charging right at me. I just stood there, staring at it. I was paralyzed with fear. It raised its sword. Then suddenly another sword came flying out of nowhere, and beheaded the thing. "Jana, move!" Boromir yelled, and I realized that he had killed it.

"yeah, sure…" I muttered, shaking my head. I had to focus now. That, or be killed. I tightened my hold on my sword, and held it at the ready, waiting for more Uruks to come my way.

Another one did a few seconds later, and I took a big swing at it. It squealed; I had obviously made contact. But I couldn't have told you otherwise, seeing as my eyes were closed. I opened them, and hacked away at the Uruk until it died. I still wasn't very graceful with a sword.

All of the sudden Gimli was at my side. "Legolas, two!" he yelled over to the Elf with a small grin on his face.

"I'm on seventeen!" I heard Legolas shout back. Gimli's face fell, and he sent a glare in Legolas' direction.

"If it makes you feel any better," I said, "I've only killed one." Suddenly another Uruk was in front of me, and I jammed my sword into its throat. "Never mind; make that two," I said, pulling my sword out of its dead body.

I decided that I would be okay if I stuck near Boromir. Soon the two of us were fighting back-to-back like we had done in the mines. Except this time it was more like these-stupid-Orcs-are-swarming-around-me-and-I'm-usuing-you-as-a-wall-so-they-don't-knock-me-over-the-edge kind of fight. It worked pretty well; for a while, anyway.

Maybe an hour into the battle I realized that I had no idea where Haldir was. Great. I turned to look at Boromir, who was already staring at me. I gave him a slight nod, and started to run the other way. "Jana!" I heard him call after me. "Come back!" But I wasn't listening. I had to find Haldir. After all he had done for me, I wasn't about to let him die here. Yeah, sure, I was being a total Mary-Sue _again_, but I seriously didn't care at this point.

I kept running towards the front, trying to doge out of the way of men and Orcs alike swinging their swords wildly around. For once I was glad I was so short, because it enabled me to cram myself through tight places.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, and I whipped my head around to see Aragorn. "Jana, what are you doing here?" he asked. "You were supposed to be in the rear."

I didn't have time for this. I still had no idea where Haldir was. "Sure," I said, ducking out of the way of a Uruk that Aragorn killed a moment later.

"What are you doing?" he repeated.

I just shook my head. I had officially gone into panic-mode now. "Have to find Haldir…" I said frantically. "Gonna die… can't… Haldir…"

"What?" Aragorn said. "What about Haldir?"

I felt like my brain was about to explode. Did he just not get it or something? "Dead…" I muttered, glaring at him.

"He's dead?" Aragorn yelped.

"If you don't let go of me, he will be," I growled.

He let go of my shoulder, and looked down at the ground below the wall. I watched his face for a second, and saw it go pale. Then I looked down too, and saw a few Uruks running out of the drain. Shit. I had forgotten about them.

Then the Uruk-hai with the torch made its dramatic entrance. Double shit. I swear that same Uruk dies like four time during the movie. Aragorn was now screaming something in rapid Elvish to Legolas, who was already aiming an arrow at the Orc. Aragorn's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets. The Uruk was getting closer. Triple shit.

I started to run, trying to get off of the wall, but it was too late. The Uruk obviously made its way into the drain, because a second later, I was flying through the air, a stream of curses flowing out of my mouth. I closed my eyes, praying that I wouldn't die. I felt myself hit the ground a moment later, and for some strange reason, it didn't hurt. I opened my eyes tentatively, trying to make sure that I wasn't dead. I had proof of that a second later, when a piece of stone landed on by back.

"Ow, shit!" I said, shaking my head, and opening my eyes a little more. I looked down and screamed. Now I knew why it didn't hurt when I fell: I had fallen on top of a dead body. I jumped up and looked around. Aragorn was a few feet to my left. He was slowly getting up too.

Then I looked ahead of me and saw the rest of the Uruk-hai army charging towards me. I turned and ran. If I had a tail, it would have been between my legs. Luckily some of the Elves were near by, and I dove behind them for cover. They shot a few arrows at the Uruk-hai, with none hitting Aragorn. Figures. Stupid show-offs.

After I had caught my breath, I looked around to see if I could find Haldir. Finally, I spotted him on top of the wall. Damn. There was about twenty Orcs standing between him and me.

I took a beep breath, and charged forward. I was gripping my sword so hard that it hurt. "You're not gonna die… You're not gonna die…" I muttered to myself.

"Aragorn! Pull them back!" I heard Theoden yell over the noise of the battle. Then Aragorn started yelling something in Elvish. I saw Haldir look up and nod at him. I only had a few seconds.

I reached the stairs and started running up them, trying not to fall flat on my face. Then, out of nowhere, a Uruk came flying at me. I screamed as its sword sliced into my left arm. Blood came flying up and hit me in the face. I tried to blink it out of my eyes as I knocked the Orc off of the stairs.

My arm stung like shit, but I still had to focus on Haldir. He was yelling at his Elves to pull back. I ran up the remaining steps just as a Uruk-hai came up behind him. "Haldir, look out!" I screamed. He stepped to the side just in time, avoiding the Uruk's blow. I let out a sigh of relief before Haldir grabbed my good arm as we started to run.

I turned around as we ran, looking back at the Uruk-hai. Wait. A flash of red hair in the distance? I know that hair… No, it can't be. I shook my head, and told myself that I had imagined it.

Haldir and I made it into the keep with only seconds to spare. We both collapsed on the floor, panting for breath. "Well, that was close," I said after a few seconds.

He gave me a weak smile and nodded his head. "This battle is far from over…"


	34. Cold Hands and Dead Eyes

Author's Notes: Haha

**Author's Notes: Haha! Another update! Totally sorry about the huge time span between chapters. I would give you guys a totally logical reason for why I haven't posted anything recently, but, like my band instructor always says, 'Don't bother telling me anything, because I'll just tell you that it's a stupid excuse, and then I'll call you a name, and lower your self-esteem even more.'**

Chapter 34:

"This will not hold," Haldir said. "The Uruks are too many."

I sighed. "I don't know about that," I said. The part of my brain that was once logical was telling me that everything would be alright, we would win, good always kicks evil's ass, yadda, yadda, yadda… Put a gun to my head already so I don't have to listen to this crap.

Haldir glanced at me. "Oh, so we've taken a positive change in our attitude now, huh?"

I was about to answer him when Legolas came running over, flapping his hands around, and motioning for me to remove my bottom from the bench I was sitting on. I glared at him as I got up. "I was using that," I grumbled. "Do you know hoe tired I am?" I moved over to the wall and leaned against it with my good arm.

"Milady, do you know how dead we will be if we do not use it to block the door?" Gambling said, running over, and helping Legolas move the entire table. Wait. Wasn't Aragorn supposed to do that? Jeeze, I mess a lot of things up just by standing here.

"Don't call me that!" I yelled, attempting to take a swing at his head with my other arm. "Ouch! Damnit!" I winced. Sudden movement hurt. Matter of face, any movement hurt my left arm.

"Jana, let me see that," Haldir said, peering at my arm.

"It's nothing," I said quickly, trying to move it out of view. "Ow, shit!"

But Haldir ignored me, and grabbed hold of it anyway. "Uh, uh, uh," he said, his brow furrowing. "You've got yourself quite a nasty one." I rolled my eyes, and was tempted to make my famous Captain Obvious statement, but I thought I should probably save it. Haldir picked up the table cloth that Legolas had tossed on the ground, and ripped a piece off. "There…" he said absently as he tied it over the gash. "That should do for now."

111

Legolas and Gambling soon ran out of furniture that they could stack up against the door. The Uruk-hai were still trying to hammer their way in.

I just sat in the corner, trying to stay out of everyone's way. Theoden was talking to Gambling, who then proceeded to bellow orders at the men. Legolas and Haldir were arguing about something in Elvish. You know, the language sounds to pretty, but I can't understand it for shit.

I started as I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Oh, it's you," I sighed, looking up to see Boromir.

"My apologies," he said, sitting down next to me. "I did not mean to startle you."

"Sure," I said, shaking my head and blinking, trying to push the drowsiness from my mind. "Glad to see you're alive," I said after a few second of awkward silence.

He looked at me for a long time. "And the same for you."

I gave him a weak smile. But it vanished as soon as I caught sight of the giant bruise on his forehead. "Hold still," I said, pushing myself up on my knees, and turning to face him. I moved his hair out of the way, and checked to make sure there was no bleeding. He shivered as I touched his forehead. "Sorry," I said, "My hands must be cold, right?"

"No, your hands are fine," he said quietly, closing his eyes. I shrugged, and sat back down on my butt. He opened his eyes slowly after another few seconds. "Jana, listen, about earlier…"

"It's alright," I said, cutting him off, and throwing a quick glance towards the door. "I know Aragorn was particularly thrilled with me fighting. That's why we were at the back. It was unfair of him to put you back there with me. You had every right to go to the front.

Boromir blinked, then nodded a little, not meeting my gaze. I suddenly had a thought that Boromir had not meant to talk about where Aragorn had put us. "I think I shall go help the men," he said absently, pushing himself off of the ground.

I stared after him for a while longer, before I got up, and wandered off to find Aragorn, just because I had nothing better to do. He was standing near Theoden, who was staring off into space. I was really tempted to throw something at him, just to see if I could get a reaction out of him. But I settled for waving a hand in front of his face instead. He simply blinked. I shrugged, and walked over to where Gimli was sitting.

"So much death…" Theoden mumbled. "What can men do against such reckless hate…?"

There was silence. Everyone just stared at him. I glanced over at Gambling, who was following Theoden around like a lost puppy. But he did not react to my raised eyebrows as he usually does with his small grin.

"Ride out with him, "Aragorn said. Ok, that was it. I was outta here. I turned and started walking away.

"And where are you going?" Legolas asked softly, placing a hand on my shoulder, and stopping me from going any further.

I sighed, and turned around to look at him. "To sleep," I said. He raised an eyebrow at me. "I love to squish Uruk-hai and everything, don't get me wrong," I said sarcastically, "but there's no way in hell you're gonna get me to get on a freaking horse and go kill some more." He simply shrugged, and removed his hand from my shoulder.

I walked quickly away from everyone else, hoping that I wouldn't be stopped again. I seriously underestimated this battle. I didn't think that it would be this bad. I mean, half the time in the movies, all you have to do is whack an Orc with the blunt side of your sword, and it's dead. Yeah, that didn't happen here.

As I turned the corner, I saw wounded men everywhere. I had to put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from gagging. Blood covered the stone floor. If it weren't something so disgusting, it might have been fun to slide on.

I became more horrified by the second as I looked around. Men sat bleeding everywhere, with only a few to help them. To my left sat a small boy, probably no more than eight years old, whose arm was slashed so badly that bone could be seen through the torn flesh. I closed my eyes tightly, begging the tears not to come.

With my eyes still closed, I made my way through the crowed of wounded. I could feel hands catching onto my arms and chain mail, and cracked voices were pleading for help. I began to feel dizzy as I continued to walk. I didn't really understand pain and death until now.

A few seconds later, I could no longer feel hands grabbing me, and I thought it was safe to open my eyes again. But, when I did, I discovered that I had wandered into the area where the dead bodies were being stacked. Another wave of nausea hit me, and I tried hard to keep it in. My world started to spin as I looked at the closest body to me. It was a boy, probably not much younger than me. His red hair had fallen across his face, in front of his brown eyes, which were dull with death, but open. I took a deep breath, and closed them slowly with my hand. His hair looked bright against his white skin, even though it was matted with blood.

I stared at him for a few more seconds, before something hit me. A flash of red hair before entering the keep.

I took off running to the entrance to the caves.

111

I nearly fell over as I cam skidding to a stop near the caves. I took a second to catch my breath before I entered.

People stared at me as I walked in. I can't blame them. I must have looked pretty strange; short, sweaty, and covered in blood and everything. I really should be used to this by now.

I scanned the cave for any sight of Eowyn, but I couldn't see her. People were moving everywhere, trying to make it to the back exit. There were a few guards trying to direct people and keep them calm, but that wasn't working very well.

I ran up to the closest one. "Hey, buddy, have you see Eowyn?" I panted. He just stared at me. "Do you speak?" I said impatiently. He looked at me for a few more seconds, then pointed to my right. I turned to see Eowyn ushering people towards the back.

"Eowyn!" I said when I finally mad my way over to her.

"Jana, what are you doing here?" she said, a look of concern crossing her face.

"Where's Lilith?" I panted.

"Lilith?" she said, "I thought she was with you."

"What?" I yelled, panic flooding through my brain. Several people stopped and stared at us. "I told her to stay in the caves."

"She was here for a minute or so," Eowyn said, putting her hands on her hips, and furrowing her brow. "But then she left. And she said something about going to fight."

"Damnit all, Lilith," I said quietly. I looked back up at Eowyn. "And you're sure that she left?"

"Yes," she said.

"One hundred percent positive?"

Eowyn gave me a funny look. "Yes, I am positive, Jana."

I let out a frustrated growl. "We're in some serious shit here. I can't believe her… I really can't believe her…" I muttered. "I can't believe she would do something like this…" I shook my head, and took off in a run out of the caves.


	35. Seriously?

Author's Notes: Yay, an update

**Author's Notes: Yay, an update! Again, sorry about no posting anything for a while. But you guys are in luck, because I am going to be stuck in a car for 7 hours this Friday, driving down to Maryland. I'll use that time to write more, as long as I'm not totally distracted by watching "House", which, knowing me, I would watch for 7 hours straight. Lol. **

Chapter 35:

I came skidding around the corner of the keep, and promptly fell on my face. When I opened my eyes, I was staring at a lovely pile of horse shit. "Well, that was lucky," I muttered, pushing myself back up.

"Jana, what are you doing?" Haldir said, rushing over to where I was standing.

"Have you seen Lilith?" I demanded.

"Lilith? Who's Lilith?"

"Oh, that's right, you haven't met her," I said, running a hand through my knotted hair. "No, we picked her up when we got to Rohan. She's kinda pale, with frizzy red hair, and brown eyes. Does that ring a bell?" Haldir shook his head. "Shit," I swore.

"What, you've lost her?" he asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes," I sighed. "I told her to stay in the caves, but Eowyn says that she wasn't in there, and I thought I saw her when we were running in here, and…" I stopped to take a breath.

"And…?" Haldir prompted.

"And I'm fucked if I can't find her." He shrugged. "I have to go out there and look for her," I said.

"You can't go out there!" Haldir yelped, catching me on my arm as I started to walk away.

"Why not?" I said, stopping to look at him. "You just let Aragorn out there. Maybe I wanna play with the Orcs too."

"Jana, be serious," he said. "You'll get yourself killed."

"But she could be dead if I don't find her," I protested.

Haldir gave me a long look, like he was considering something very hard. "Fine," he said. "If you can find a spare horse, go." I gave him a quick smile and a small nod as he let go of my arm. "Be careful!" he called after me as I disappeared around the corner.

I soon found myself in a large room just off the main hall where I had seen men herding the horses into when we were preparing for battle. There were two men sitting down against one of the walls.

"Excuse me," I said, "I need a horse."

They both jumped. The one closest to me turned around. He had dirty blonde hair that ended in tangles around his shoulders and was matted with blood. "Ay, you near stopped my heart there, boy. Could have been nay quieter?"

"Girl," I said flatly, folding my arms across my chest. "I need a horse."

The second man squinted at me. "She's right, she is a girl," he said. He had a pretty nasty gash across his right cheek that looked like it was still bleeding. His red hair was slightly longer than mine.

"No shit, Sherlock," I huffed. "You got a horse?"

"You're awfully short," the blonde one said. "And what happened to your hair?"

"I know I'm short," I growled, "You don't have to point it out. And nothing happened to my hair; I cut it."

"Why'd you do that?" the redhead prompted.

"Because I like it short. It looks better than when it's long." I paused while they continued to stare at me. "Oh, that's right; it's not normal for a girl to have short hair 'round here."

"And it is where you come from?" the first one said.

I shrugged. "I suppose."

"Where _do_ you come from?" he continued.

"Certainly not from around here," the redhead said.

I gave him a sharp look. "How do you know that?"

"Your speech is off," he said simply. "Your accent doesn't sound like anything I'm familiar with." He paused. "Then again, you could be from the Northwest."

"Really?" I said. I didn't think that my accent was similar to any dialect from Middle Earth, except the Shire, and these men certainly had never heard a Hobbit speak before. "You think – Horse! NOW!" I shouted, suddenly remembering why I was here. "Jeeze, can you say side-tracked?" I muttered under my breath.

"There's none left," the blonde said simply, giving me a small shrug.

"None left?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. This was _really _not my day. "But there were at least eighty, maybe a hundred, in here."

"All were sent out to riders joining King Theoden," the redhead chimed in.

"You mean there were seriously eighty guys who could actually sit on a horse without being propped up?" I said. If my eyebrows could have gone any higher, they would have jumped off my face.

"That's correct," the blonde said.

I threw up my arms in frustration. "Would it be too much to ask for a horse to magically fall out of the sky right now?" I said.

"Yes," the second one said.

"I wasn't asking you," I said, narrowing my eyes at him. "I guess I'll just go out without a horse," I said to myself. I started to walk away, stopped, and turned back to face them. "Oh, and if either of you see Haldir, the story is that you gave me a horse. Understand?" They both nodded. "Thanks a bunch, gents," I said as I turned and strode out of the room.

"_Gents_?" I heard one of them say. I laughed softly to myself. It's a real wonder that more people don't comment about the way I speak.

I peeked around the corner to make sure that the area was Haldir-free before I ventured out. I ran towards the heavy double doors and outside.

I could see men on horses everywhere. Apparently, I had missed Gandalf's dramatic entrance. There was still a lot of Uruk-hai running around, so I picked up a space knife that I found lying on the ground a few feet away from me.

I combed through the dead bodies that were strewn across the ground. Every time I saw red hair, I felt a lurch in the pit on my stomach, but it always turned out to be someone else.

I suddenly heard hooves pounding towards me, and I turned to see Aragorn on his horse. "Jana, come," he said, offering me a hand up to get on the horse, which I accepted, and settled myself down in front of him.

As I looked around, I saw all of the remaining Uruks running towards the forest. Aragorn steered the horse over to where everyone else was waiting.

All of us just sat on our horses and watched with small smiles on our faces. "Seriously, was there a forest there before?" I asked.

Aragorn chuckled, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You can lighten any situation, Jana," he said quietly.

I smiled. Finally I was good at something, and that was making people laugh. We continued to sit there and listen to the squealing noises coming from the trees. No one spoke, until Gandalf said, "The battle for Helms Deep is over; the battle for Middle Earth is about to begin."


	36. I'm Sorry

Author's Notes: Yay, I'm back from Maryland, and the 7 hours each way turned into more than 8

**Author's Notes: Yay, I'm back from Maryland, and the 7 hours each way turned into more than 8. Fun, right? So I wrote like 3 chapters, and I'll try to have them all typed before Thursday, because preseason for soccer starts for me then, and when I come home from that everyday, I'll be too tired to do anything. Lol. So, here you go!**

Chapter 36:

"What were you doing out here?" Aragorn asked me as we trotted back towards the keep on his horse. "I did not see you when we were readying the horses."

"I was looking for Lilith," I said. "I thought I saw here out here during the battle."

"Why would she be out here?" he asked.

I sighed. "We had a fight earlier. I told her to stay in the caves because it would be safe. But she apparently interpreted that as offensive, and thought she could fight." I paused. "It was my fault."

"No, it wasn't," Aragorn said, gripping my shoulder in reassurance. "Are you positive that you saw her?"

"No… Yes… I don't know…" I said.

"What does your gut tell you?"

"That she's a stupid prick who thought she could fight, and thought that I was trying to steal all the glory for myself." Aragorn gave me a funny look. I shrugged. "You asked."

We rode in silence for a few more minutes. "I think I'll go back and look for her," I said, jumping off of the horse. When I hit the ground, my knees buckled, and I promptly fell over. Aragorn just rolled his eyes at me as he rode away.

I stood up, brushed myself off, and continued my search.

111

A half an hour later, I still hadn't found her. I was about to give and check the caves when I suddenly saw red hair once more. I wandered over, preparing myself for failure once again. I pushed a dead Uruk over, and I saw her.

She was still alive.

"Jana…" she whispered.

I just stared at her for a few seconds, horrified. Her face was streaked with blood, and she had a hole in her stomach, about the size of a sword, which was still bubbling with blood. "I need over here!" I yelled, hoping that someone would hear me. I dropped to my knees next to her. "Lilith, can you hear me?" I said.

"Jana…" she said again, but started to cough, causing more blood to come out of her wound.

"Don't talk," I told her. "You'll be okay. We'll get someone over here in a 'mo."

"No," she said forcefully. "Jana, I'm… sorry." She took a long shuddering breath.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," I said, taking her hand in mine, and trying to hold back the tears. I suddenly heard running footsteps behind me, and I turned to see Legolas coming in our direction. "See, Legolas'll help you now," I said.

He dropped to the ground on the other side of Lilith, his eyes lingering on the hole in her stomach. He shot me a look, which was just as good as saying 'it's no use'.

"Jana, I was… stupid," Lilith whispered. "I shouldn't… have… come out… here… Dumb… No armor… besides stolen chain mail…" She squeezed my hand. "When we… met… I didn't start… the fire… You did…"

Legolas looked at me again, his expression puzzled. I shook my head at him. "I don't know what she's talking about," I said quickly. "She must have hit her head or something…" Her hand was growing colder by the second.

"I'm… sorry…" Lilith repeated.

"Hand with me, Lilith," I said. "Don't let go."

She gave me a weak smile. I could see blood in her mouth. "Go finish… the story…" she choked out between breaths of air that sounded painful for her. "You'll… change this… for… the good…"

Her hand was freezing now. "Lilith?" I whispered. She started coughing again, and then she went limp.

She was dead.

"I'm sorry," Legolas said softly. "We shall greatly mourn the passing of a dear friend."

"She wasn't a friend," I said roughly, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "She was just some stupid girl who didn't know anything."

I looked at her for a few more seconds before I closed her eyes with my hand. Then I turned away. I couldn't look at her anymore.

I heard Legolas inhale sharply from behind me. "Jana," he said. I turned around. Lilith was gone.

"What happened to her?" I demanded.

The Elf shook his head. "She just… vanished," he said. I stared at the spot where Lilith's body had just been, my brain flooded with shock. So this is what happens to us when we die here; we just disappear. And go where? Back to Earth, maybe?

I shook my head. "Well, it wasn't like I was going to give her a proper funeral or anything," I said coldly. "What does it matter now if she's gone or not?" I turned then and stalked off, leaving Legolas by himself.

111

I couldn't believe that Lilith was actually dead. If only I had been more persistent with trying to teach her to fight, if only I had been nicer to her, if only… I let out a small, aggravated scream, and kicked the closest dead Uruk to me.

I soon found myself wandering back into the keep. I really wanted to get away from all of the dead Orcs, because they smelled pretty nasty.

I hand suddenly grabbing my shoulder made me scream. Turning around, I saw that it was Eowyn. "I'm sorry," she said quickly, a concerned expression on her face.

"It's okay," I said, shaking my head. "I didn't mean to scream. I'm just… jumpy, lately."

"Oh," she said. There was silence between us. "So, did you find Lilith?"

The noise that bubbled up in the back of my throat sounded similar to that made by a wounded buffalo. Eowyn stared at me. "Yes," I whispered, staring at the ground.

"And…?" she said breathlessly after a few seconds.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry…" I said, looking back up at her. "I knew you two got on well together."

Her mouth fell open, and her eyes filled with tears as she took a few labored breaths. "She's dead…?" Eowyn whispered. I nodded my head again. She stumbled back and fell against the wall. I suddenly felt a little awkward. Should I consol her, or should I walk away? "I cannot imagine what you must feel like," she said.

"Actually," I said, furrowing my brow, and really thinking, "I don't fell… anything."

"Maybe it has not hit yet," Eowyn suggested, wiping her eyes with her hand. "She was your good friend, after all."

I felt another growl form in the back of my throat, but I held it in. "Why does everybody think that we were friends?" I demanded. "I didn't know her that well! She was too sissy for me, just like you are! I didn't even like her! The only reason I let her come with us was the fact that she rescued me from getting my throat sliced open by Blondie! And come to find out, she didn't even do that!" I suddenly stopped my ranting, breathing hard. Eowyn looked horrified at my sudden outburst. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to call you sissy." I gave her a weak smile. "You can kick some serious ass."

"Um, thank you…?" she said awkwardly. I could tell that she didn't understand half of what I had just said.

I ran a hand though my hair. "I need some sleep," I said. I started to walk away, but stopped. "I am really sorry about Lilith," I said, without turning back to look at Eowyn.

"That… that's good," Eowyn stuttered. "Feeling bad now will dull the pain later."

"No", I sighed, suddenly feeling every sore spot on my body. "I'm sorry about Lilith… for you, not for me." I walked away without another word.


	37. Dead Orcs and Lies

Chapter 37:

Chapter 37:

"Lass, get up," someone grunted from above me. "Lass?"

I groaned, and opened my eyes slowly to see Gimli. "What?" I moaned, sitting up, and rubbing the back of my neck.

"We're leaving in an hour or two," he said.

"Great," I grumbled sarcastically. I yawned, and stretched. I hurt. All over. "How long have I been asleep?" I asked.

"Six hours, I'd say," Gimli said.

"Six hours?" I echoed disbelief clearly in my voice. "Six _hours_? You're sure?"

"Yes," he said. "What I wouldn't give to have slept six hours myself…"

I sprang up off of the blanket that I had dragged into a corner to sleep on. "So, what are we off to do?" I asked.

"Report back to Aragorn," Gimli said, "He'll find something for you to do."

"As long as we're not moving dead Orcs, I'm cool," I said with a smile. We walked in silence for a while. "So, who won the Uruk-hai killing contest?" I asked. I already knew the answer, but it was a good conversation starter, and I needed to keep away from the topic of Lilith for as long as possible.

"I beat the Elf," he said, a smug smile spreading on his face. "Forty-two to forty-three."

"Epic win," I said. "I probably killed 'bout seven myself." Gimli chuckled. "What?" I demanded.

"Nothing," he said, waving a hand as though waving away a thought. I shrugged, and we continued walking.

111

Gimli and I soon found everybody else huddled in a small room off of the main hall.

"My men are ready," Eomer was saying as we walked in.

Theoden nodded. "We leave in an hour," he said.

"So, what'd I miss?" I asked with a yawn. Eomer narrowed his at me. "Oh, come off it," I said, waving my hand at him. "We're not going to start this again, are we? Truce?" I asked, holding my hand out. Eomer nodded, but didn't shake it. I shrugged, and dropped my arm back to my side. Theoden looked from me, to Eomer, then back to me again. "Oh, we didn't get on so well at out first meeting," I told him.

Theoden's gaze lingered on me for a second longer. "I can see why," he said. I folded my arms my chest and glared at the ground. "Are all of the women and children ready?" he asked, turning to his right. For the first time, I noticed Eowyn standing near the wall. Her face was pale, and her eyes were rimmed with red. It was obvious that she had been crying.

"Yes, my Lord," she said, respectfully bowing her head.

"Good, good," Theoden said, turning back to the rest of us. "In an hour," he said firmly, nodding his head, and turning to walk out, with Gambling and Eomer trotting close behind him.

"Jana, I am sorry about Lilith," Aragorn said. "We all are." Boromir, Haldir, and Gimli nodded in agreement. It must have been hard for you to burry her with the rest of the soldiers."

What? I shot a quick glance at Legolas, who nodded his head ever-so-slightly, while staring at me. Oh. _Oh_… "Oh, yeah, it was… a little," I said quickly. Haldir put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I'm fine," I said, giving him a weak smile.

"I know you are," Aragorn said. "You can push though anything."

111

I waited for everyone else to wander out of the room until it was just me and Legolas left. "Thank you," I said. "I really appreciate what you told them."

"Yes," he said quietly, not meeting my gaze. I turned and started to walk away, but Legolas caught my arm. "What are you?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, generally confused now.

"Lilith and you were the same, were you not?" he asked.

"Yeah…" I said. "What are you talk-"

"When she died, she just vanished," he said. "That is not a natural thing."

"Okay, just let me explain," I started. He opened his mouth again, but I cut him off. "I'm human," I told him, "just not your average human." I paused. "But I think anyone could figure that one out without too much trouble. I guess you could call me a Humbit; like a human and a Hobbit put together." I gave a feeble laugh to accompany my bad joke. Legolas didn't smile. "I'm human, okay," I said flatly. "What happened to Lilith stays between the two us of, got it?"

He nodded. "Will that happen to you if you die, too?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Well, if it does, I won't be around to fine out, will I?" I chuckled, and he gave me a small smile. "You won't tell anyone, will you?" I asked.

"No," he said, "I promise you that."

"Thank you," I said again, before turning and walking out.

111

I thought that I would be nice, and put myself to some good use, so I asked Aragorn what I could do to help out. And, ironically, the chore that I ended up doing was moving dead Orcs.

"So, what are we going to do with them, exactly?" I asked, as I helped Aragorn carry one over the large pile that we had made.

"Burn them," he said.

"Gross," I muttered. Suddenly Haldir was at our sides. "Hey," I said, wiping sweat from my forehead.

Aragorn walked over and gave him a hug. "Goodbye, my friend," he said. I was too shocked by the word 'goodbye' to make fun of them about their man-hugs.

"You're leaving?" I cried.

Haldir nodded. "Yes, we are," he said.

"You're just going back?" I said.

"That's generally the meaning of 'leave'," he said with a small smirk.

I shrugged, and went over and hugged him as well. He seemed stunned by my sudden display of affection, but recovered quickly. I was going to miss him, as much as I hated to admit it. "Will I see you again?" I asked as I stepped back.

He looked thoughtfully at me for a moment. "If all goes well," he said, a dark expression crossing his face for a fraction of a second.

I waved as he turned and headed to his few surviving Elves.

Aragorn and I threw the last remaining Orcs onto the pile. Two men brought oil over and poured in on the dead creatures, while a third followed with a torch in each hand.

"That's disgusting," I said, as Aragorn and I stood back and watched the Uruk-hai burn.

I turned around as we heard approaching horses. Theoden, gambling, Eomer, Boromir, Legolas, and Gimli were riding towards us, with two more horses with them. Eomer threw the rains of the grey one to me. "We ride to Edoras."


	38. I'll See You in Hell

Author's Notes: Okay, last update for a little bit

**Author's Notes: Okay, last update for a little bit. Sorry, but I have 3 days to do pretty much all of my summer homework before soccer starts. I've introduced Grimbold into this chapter. He has like one ling in the movies, but actually has a part in the books.**

Chapter 38:

Apparently, we were just a scouting party. Theoden said that it was a good idea to make sure that Edoras was undamaged before the women and children returned there. Grimbold accompanied us so that, if everything was okay, he could return to Helms Deep to take people back. Eomer's riders had been left with the task of making sure that everyone was there safely.

I was really tired and sore, so riding on a horse didn't feel particularly great. Especially not for the two hours that it took us to get there.

Soon Edoras came into view. I sighed, and smiled. Grimbold chuckled softly at me. Grimbold was actually pretty cool. I had decided that he was my new best friend now, seeing as everybody else no longer seemed to like me. "You seem relieved, Milady," he said. No matter how many times I asked him not to call me that, he said that it was impolite, and respectfully refused my request.

"I am," I said. "My ass is killing me." Grimbold winced. He didn't always agree with my choice of language, but he never actually said anything to be about it.

As we got closer to the gate, we saw… people standing there. "What the hell?" I said under my breath.

The people in question were two girls. One had pale blonde hair with sea foam green eyes, and the other had chestnut brown hair, and light pink eyes. As I looked at them, it suddenly hit me: they weren't girls; they were Mary-Sues. "Oh, shit."

We pulled the horses up when we reached the gate. "What business do you have in Edoras?" Eomer demanded, giving each of the Sues a foul look in turn.

Pink Eyes spoke first. "What business do _you_ have in the realm of Queen Marsela?" she said, eyeing Aragorn with a small smile on her face. That did it. My worst fears had just been confirmed.

"Queen Marsela?" Boromir asked.

"Yes," Pink Eyes said, "Queen Marsela, ruler of Middle Earth."

"Oh, shut the fuck up," I growled, narrowing my eyes at her.

"_Excuse me_?" she said. She looked at me for a moment, then a wave of realization washed over her face. "_You_…" she said, staring at me in horror.

She suddenly turned, and started to run. I untangled my feet from my stirrups, and launched myself at her. I grabbed onto her shoulders, and in the next second, we were both on the ground. She screamed as I twisted her hand behind her back, and then sat on her. "Yeah, me," I said.

"Jana, what are you doing?" Aragorn yelped.

"Just trust me on this one," I grunted, trying to hold down the struggling Sue. "Do you remember that group of girls who wanted to kill me before?" I asked.

"Yes…" he said hesitantly.

"Well, I think we've just found them." I glanced over at the blonde Sue, and had to suppress a laugh. She was staring, mouth slightly open at Legolas. "Legolas, just stay right where you are," I said. "You're doing a very fine job of distracting the other." Gimli laughed, while Legolas's cheeks turned a slight shade of pink. "We need something to tie her up with," I said, "and probably something to gag her with, too."

Boromir reached into his saddle bag, and produced a blanket. He jumped off his horse, and ripped a strip of blanket off with his teeth. He quickly bound her hands with it. He ripped off another piece, and I stuffed it into her mouth.

"What should we do with the other one?" Eomer asked.

"Eh," I said, "I think if we just start walking, she'll follow us because of Legolas." The Elf scowled at me. "So, who wants to take her?" I asked, gesturing towards Pink Eyes. They all gave me look of disgust. I sighed. "Fine. We'll put her on my horse. Boromir, you wanna help me out here?" He boosted her up so she was draped over my horse sideways on her stomach.

I walked over to Grimbold's horse and climbed up behind him, while Boromir remounted his own. I grabbed the rains of my horse, and pulled it along side Grimbold's.

"You might want to told on, Milady," he said as we started moving, the blonde Sue following, just as I had predicted.

"I'm fine," I said.

"Now, I have just one question for you: what did you do to these girls to aggravate them so?"

I laughed. "It's a very long story," I grumbled. "To give you a brief overview, I wandered into their camp, beat-up their leader when we got to Rivendell, wandered back into their camp when we got to Rohan, apparently set their stuff on fire, and escaped with my life." He chuckled. "But I honestly can't see what I've done wrong," I said, my voice full of mock innocence.

We soon reached the palace, and dismounted our horses. Aragorn lifted Pink Eyes down from mine, and Eomer had a hold of the blonde by her shoulders.

"How many of them do you think there are?" Gambling asked me.

"Their whole camp, I'd say, which is probably 'bout thirty, unless they've figured over how to clone themselves." Gambling just stared at me. "To multiply," I clarified, shaking my head. "I don't know if they're armed or not."

"It's best that we be ready with weapons," Theoden said. "And if they are armed, then we are outnumbered."

I snorted. "They might be armed, but my best guess is that they can't fight for peanuts."

We slowly made out way up the steps, afraid of an ambush. But none came.

Grimbold and Gambling quietly walked over to the closed doors, and each grabbed hold of a handle. At Theoden's signal, they threw the doors open. Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, Theoden, and I jumped into the hall, weapons raised.

"Well, well, well," said a silky voice. I looked to the end of the hall to see Blondie sitting sideways on Theoden's throne, her feet dangling over the side, and a small silver crown on her head. "Look what we have here." She smiled, her perfect, white teeth almost blinding.

"Okay, now you've just gone too far," I growled. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

There was a chorus of small gasps throughout the room, and I noticed that about twenty Mary-Sues had gathered around. "That's no way to talk to Queen Marsela!" a purple-haired Sue said, stepping in front of me.

"Oh, yeah?" I said, cocking my head at her.

"Yes," she said fiercely. "Queen Marsela demands more respect."

I flashed the Sue a quick smile, then socked her a good one in the face that sent her flying backwards.

"Jana!" Gandalf warned sharply. I was seriously _not_ in the mood for lectures right now.

"Queen Marsela?" I said mockingly. "More like 'Queen-head-up-your-ass!'" Blondie's face turned bright red.

"How did you get into my palace?" she demanded.

"_Your_ palace?" Eomer growled.

"Yeah, if you haven't noticed, _King Theoden_ kinda lives here," I said. "But, if you must know, we tackled one of your guards, tied her up and gagged her, and we didn't even bother with the other one, because she's done nothing but stare at Legolas ever since we got here."

Aragorn and Eomer pushed the two Sues forward. Pink Eyes fell over, and the blonde turned around and continued to gaze at Legolas.

Blondie let out a low growl. "You're outnumbered," she said. "We could easily overpower you in a fight."

"I don't see any weapons," I laughed. She blushed again.

"Where is the traitor Lilith?" a Sue with pale red hair asked from the crowd. "We saw her take off with you."

I could feel the blood drain from my face. "Dead," I said, looking at the floor.

Blondie started to laugh. "Serves her right," she sneered.

I suddenly felt unexplainable anger boil up inside of me. I started forward. I suppose that I didn't have a very good reason for killing Blondie, but that was all I could think about. Grimbold grabbed both of my arms then, and pulled me back. "Don't do anything rash," he said quietly.

"Why are you here?" Aragorn said, his voice peaceful.

"_Why are you here_?" Blondie echoed in a snooty, mocking voice. "This is my kingdom now," she hissed.

"Well, last I checked, this place was called 'Rohan', not 'Bitchville'," I snapped. I tried to pull away from Grimbold, but the man tightened his grip.

Apparently, that last comment sent Blondie over the edge. She jumped up, and started walking towards us. Legolas, Eomer, and Gambling stepped protectively in front of me, Aragorn and Gimli took the sides, and Boromir, Theoden, and Gandalf cover the rear, forming a circle around Grimbold and me.

"You should be dead!" she growled as she approached. "I should have killed you when I met you! I should have known that you would ruin my story!" The rest of the Sues followed suit behind her, forming a mass that reminded me of a swarm of angry bees.

"Why the hell does everybody say that I ruin their stories?" I said. "What did I ever do to anyone?"

Aragorn put a hand over my mouth to silence me. "Hush," he whispered, staring at the on-coming Sues.

As Blondie drew closer, the Men and Gandalf drew their swords, Legolas his knives, and Gimli his axe. We weren't going down without a fight. Blondie stopped about a foot away from the swords. "This is my story now," she hissed. "I take over from here."

"Muck boff," I said through Aragorn's hand. Blondie stared at me while Aragorn removed his hand. "Fuck off."

"_What_?" she said, seeming to swell up with anger as the seconds passed. "What did you just say to me?"

"You heard me," I said simply. "Fuck off."

Her face was bright red now. "How dare you say that to me!" she said.

"How dare I do a lot of things," I said, "but it never stops me from doing them anyway."

"Is there anything we can offer you to stop this madness?" Gandalf asked.

Blondie stared at me for a moment, and I could tell she was thinking. "Okay," she said after a long pause. "We'll leave. But only if you comply to our terms."

"What are they?" Theoden asked, giving Blondie a long, scrutinizing glare.

"Give us the Elf and the Ranger," she said. I could see Legolas tense in front of me. "And, oh, what's his name… Faramir!"

"What do you want with my brother?" Boromir growled.

"I haven't figured that out yet," Blondie sneered. "And hand over Jana, too."

"For how long?" Aragorn asked, his voice uneasy.

"A period of time," Blondie said lightly.

"Can we expect all of them back unharmed?" Gandalf said.

"Yes," Blondie purred. "All except Jana. You won't be seeing her again, I'm afraid." She gave a small, cold laugh.

Grimbold tightened his hold on me again. "Your terms are absurd!" he said, narrowing his eyes at Blondie.

"Grimbold is right; we will not surrender anyone to take back something that is rightfully ours," Theoden said. "We will not accept your offer."

Blondie glared at us. Then, without warning, she lunged. In the shock of the moment, Legolas, Eomer, and Gambling scrambled out of the way, and Grimbold let go of my arms. She was coming right at me, and I was ready for her. As she came flying towards me, I balled my fist, and took a good swing at her face. I yelled in pain as I made contact. Blondie had a pretty hard head.

She screamed as she fell to the floor. I cradled my wounded had against my chest. "Fuck-monkey, that hurt," I said. Grimbold and Boromir were instinctively at my side within a few seconds, and Gambling had hauled Blondie to her feet, and was holding her arms behind her back.

"I'll get you for this!" she screamed.

"Yeah, sure," I said. "I've heard that one before."

"What should we do with them?" Boromir said.

I scowled at Blondie. "Kill them," I said.

"No," Aragorn said, shooting me a look. "That is out of the question."

"Why?" I said. "They're useless."

"But what would killing them accomplish?" Grimbold said.

"I don't know!" I said. "Okay, so maybe killing them all is a little extreme. But she needs to die!" I pointed by finger at Blondie. "The rest we can just imprison."

"What crimes have them committed?" Theoden demanded.

"Existence," Gambling said, smirking at me.

I scowled at him. "Not funny," I said. "I was being stupid then. You have to learn not to take me seriously ninety percent of the time." I paused. "Okay, maybe ninety-five."

"Imprisonment seems a bit harsh," Legolas said.

"But what are we supposed to do with them?" I said. "All they're going to do is mope around and wait for Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet."

"Prince Charming?" Gimli grunted.

"A.k.a: Aragorn, Legolas, Faramir, and any other relatively attractive guy," I sighed. "No offence to anyone that I didn't say," I said quickly, looking at Boromir and Eomer.

"Or to anyone that you did say," Legolas said dryly. His body had stiffened, and he was staring at the wall.

"Oh, right, sorry," I said. "I didn't mean-"

"Yes," he said curtly. I shrugged.

"I suppose we could just let them go," Theoden said. We all looked at each other, and couldn't find any objections to this idea. He turned to look at the Sues, who were all staring at us. "You may be free of your leader," he said. There was a wave of murmurs throughout the crowd. "You may remain in Rohan if you wish, as ling as you cause no more trouble." The Sues nodded in agreement.

"Well, that was easy," I said.

"But what about her?" Gambling asked, shoving Blondie forward. She whimpered. Her face was white, and she looked to be on the verge of tears.

Theoden was silent for a moment. "Bring her back to Helms Deep," he said, looking at Grimbold. "Lock her in the caves."

"Yes, Milord," Grimbold said, bowing his head.

"Good man," Theoden said, putting a hand on Grimbold's shoulder.

111

A little while later, all of us were outside the palace, readying our horses. Grimbold was preparing to ride back to Helms Deep with a bound and gagged Blondie slung over the back of his saddle. The rest of us were preparing to ride through Fangorn, and then onto Isengard.

"Safe trip," I told Grimbold, patting him on the arm.

"And the same to you, Milady," he said with a smile. He turned to Theoden. "I'll see to it that the women and the children make the journey back safely, Milord." Theoden nodded his head. "And I'll see to it that she's thrown in the caves before anything else." He jerked his thumb in the direction of his horse, where Blondie was.

I walked over to Blondie, and looked up at her. She glowered at me from her position on the horse, and grumbled something incoherent through her gag. "I'll see you in hell," I said, then turned back, and walked away.


	39. Just Around the Corner

Author's Notes: Update

**Author's Notes: Update!! Once again, sorry it's been so long since I've written. It's a miracle that I'm even typing right now, because I'm dead tired from marching at the Big E yesterday. And believe me; my shoulders are not happy right now after carrying around a snare drum for over an hour. Anyway, another update probably won't come for a while, but I'll see what I can do. **

Chapter 39:

I shuddered. Have I ever mentioned before that I really don't like these trees? Yeah, I think I have, but I'll say it again; they're freaking creepy.

We had ridden in silence ever since we left Edoras. My stomach felt like it had tied itself into a thousand tiny knots. I was really nervous about seeing Pippin and Merry again. And last time I checked, my feelings for Pippin were still there. That's a good thing… I hope.

Soon I could see the faint glow of sunlight up ahead. We were here. I saw Gandalf and Aragorn disappear around the corner, shortly followed by Legolas and Gimli. Theoden, Gambling, Eomer, and Boromir were also in front of me. For some reason, my horse had decided that he was going to be extra slow today.

"Welcome, my lords, to Isengard," I heard Merry say from around the corner. My stomach lurched. This was it. I was finally going to see them.

"You young rascals!" Gimli said. "A merry run you've lead us on. And now we find you feasting… and smoking!" I chuckled. I could picture the two Hobbits and their mountain of food that they had rescued.

Suddenly, my horse decided that he wanted to stop and smell something on the ground. I kicked his sides gently, but he didn't budge. "Come on," I whispered. "Horse, you wanna move here?"

"We are sitting on the field of victory, enjoying a few well earned comforts," Pippin said. "The salted pork is particularly good."

"Salted pork?" Gimli said.

"Come on, move!" I growled at my horse, jerking hard on the reins. He snorted at me, then reluctantly started forward.

"Eh, Hobbits," Gandalf said as I finally rounded the corner. They were both there, sitting on the wall, huge smiles on their faces. I felt my own face break into a smile as I looked at Pippin.

I then slid my feet out of my stirrups, jumped off of my horse, and scrambled over towards the wall. "Jana, come back," Boromir said. I didn't pay him any attention.

"Let her be," Aragorn said as I clambered onto the wall, and flung myself at the two Hobbits. This was the first time in what felt like forever that I actually felt happy.

I grabbed each of them in a giant hug. When Pippin and I broke apart, he had a huge grin on his face, which must have been mirrored on mine, too. I turned back to look at everyone else. Gandalf was chuckling, and Aragorn was smiling and shaking his head. But then I caught sight of Boromir's face. There was something in his expression that I had been oblivious to until now. This was not longer 'you-touch-my-Hobbits-you-die'. No, this was something else. This was jealousy.

"We're under orders from Treebeard," Merry said, "who's taken over management of Isengard."

Gandalf nodded slowly, then started moving forward. The three of us climbed down off of the wall. I scrambled back onto my own horse, while Aragorn hoisted Pippin up onto his, and Eomer did the same with Merry. The rest of us followed Gandalf into the water.

"Emm… Young Master Gandalf… I'm, mmm… glad you've come…" Treebeard said once we reached him. "There's a Wizard to manage here… Locked in his tower…" Yeah, one thing about Treebeard: he's huge. I think if I had had to ride on top of him, I would have puked several times.

"Show yourself," Aragorn whispered.

"Be careful!" Gandalf warned. "Even a defeated Saruman is dangerous."

"Then let's just have his head and be done with it," Gimli growled.

"No," Gandalf said. "We need him alive. We need him to talk."

"You have fought many wars, and slain many men, Theoden King, and made peace afterwards," came a voice from above us. We all looked up to see Saruman standing on the edge of the tower. "Can we not take council together as we once did, my old friend? Can we not have peace?"

"We shall have peace…" Theoden growled quietly, staring down into the water. Then he looked up. "We shall have peace, when you answer for the burning of the West Fold, and that children that lie dead there. We shall have peace, when the lives of the soldiers, whose bodies were hewn even as they lay dead against the gates of the Horn Burg, are avenged!... When you hang from a chibbet, for the sport of your own crows, we shall have peace."

"Chibbets and crows!" Saruman said, seeming to swell with anger as the seconds passed. Then he turned his attention to Gandalf. "What do you want, Gandalf Greyhem? Let me guess, they key of Orthanc? Or perhaps the key of Baradur itself?"

"Your treachery has already cost many lives," Gandalf said calmly, "thousands more are now at risk. But you can save them, Saruman. You were deep in the enemy's council."

"So you have come here for information?" Saruman said. "I have some for you." He reached into his robes and produced the Palantir. I could do nothing but stare at it. It just seemed to pull you in, and not let go. "Something festers in the heart of Middle Earth," he said. "Something that you have failed to see… The Great Eye has seen it. Even now, he presses his advantage. His attack will come soon. You're all going to die."

I snorted. "Master of tact, right there," I said.

"Hush," Legolas said.

"But you know this, don't you, Gandalf?" Saruman continued. "You cannot think that this _Ranger_ will ever sit upon the throne of Gondor? This _exile_, crept from the shadows, will never be crowned king." I glanced at Aragorn, who didn't seem bothered in the least bit by Saruman's words. "Gandalf does not hesitate to sacrifice those closest to him… Those, he professes to love." He paused. "Tell me, what words of comfort did you give the Halfling before you sent him to his doom?" Gandalf inhaled sharply in front of me, and Merry flinched. "The path that you have sent him on can only lead to death," Saruman said

"I've heard enough," Gimli growled. "Shoot him! Stick an arrow in his gut!" Legolas reached behind him for an arrow, a stony expression on his face.

"No!" Gandalf said sharply. Legolas dropped his arm back to his side. "Come down, Saruman, and your life will be spared."

The Wizard's face twitched in apparent anger. "Keep your pity and your mercy, I have no use for it!" he spat. He suddenly jabbed his staff towards us, and a stream of fire shot out of its end, completely engulfing Gandalf. My horse freaked, and retreated a couple of steps. The flames died away after a few seconds, and there stood Gandalf, totally unharmed. Figures.

"Saruman, your staff is broken," Gandalf said calmly. The other Wizard's staff shook violently in his hands for a few seconds, then exploded. I had to suppress a giggle. I was totally waiting for a chunk to hit him in the face.

Suddenly, Grima was at Saruman's left. Theoden squinted up at him. "Grima, you need not follow him," he said. "You were not always as you are. You were once a man of Rohan. Come down."

"A man of Rohan?" Saruman said, a small smirk crossing his face. "What is the House of Rohan, but a thatched barn, where brigands drink in the reek, and brats roll on the floor with the dogs?" Theoden flinched. "The victory at Helms Deep does not belong to you, Theoden, Horse Master!"

"Burn," I said under my breath.

"Grima come down. Be free of him," Theoden said.

"Free? He will never be free!" Saruman shouted.

"No," Grima said, just loud enough for us to hear him. The Wizard turned to stare at Grima, then totally bitch-slapped him across the face.

"Saruman," Gandalf shouted as Grima fell over, "you were deep in the enemy's council; tell us what you know!"

"Withdraw your guard, and I will tell you where your doom will be decided," Saruman said, his voice rising to a shout. "I will not be held prisoner here!"

Suddenly, Grima came flying out of no where, and stabbed Saruman in the back with his dagger. Saruman's face looked mildly surprised as Grima continued to stab him again and again. Legolas then pulled out his bow and an arrow, and sent it flying up to the tower, where it pierced Grima's heart.

"Show off," I muttered. Legolas shot me a nasty look.

Saruman's body then fell forward off of the tower, tumbling over and over as it did so. It hit the spiky wheel with a sickening _crunch_. We all stared in horror at what had just happened.

"Send word to all our allies," Gandalf said, "and to every corner of Middle Earth that still stands free; the enemy moves against us. We need to know where he will strike."

With a groan, the wheel started churning forward, submerging the Wizard's body. The Palantir fell out of his sleeve, and plunked into the water.

"The filth of Saruman… is washing away…" Treebeard said. "Trees will come back to re-root here… young trees… wise trees…"

Suddenly, there was another splash, and I turned to see Pippin wading in the water towards the glowly spot that was the Palantir. "Pippin!" Aragorn yelled after the Hobbit, but he didn't listen. Instead, he reached down and picked up the Palantir.

"Bless my bark!" Treebeard said as Pippin turned it over in his hands, staring at it in awe.

"Peregrin Took!" Gandalf said sharply. "I'll take that, my lad, quickly now." Pippin somewhat reluctantly handed Gandalf the Palantir. Gandalf wrapped it in his sleeve, and held onto it tightly.

I felt an uneasy lump form in the pit of my stomach. This was just the beginning of something bad that was just around the corner.


	40. Out Of Place

**Author's Notes: Look! An update! I don't even want to think about how long it took me to write this chapter. But I've been wicked busy teaching 6****th**** graders how to write, that's pretty much crushed my writing time to 0. So, enjoy! And be warned that another update probably won't happen for quite some time…**

**Chapter 40:**

The ride back to Edoras was not a particularly pleasant one. I really wanted to talk to the Hobbits, but seeing as everyone else was stony silent, I decided that it probably wasn't the best time; I'd play catch-up later.

When we finally made it back to the city, we found that the women and children had all made it back in once piece. As I trotted my horse towards the stables, Grimbold pulled his horse alongside me. "Hey," I said slightly. "How's the prisoner?"

"Oh, a terrible one, that girl," he said gruffly. "Complained the whole way there, she did, proclaiming that she was queen of something or other; all a bunch of fluff if you ask me."

"Bullshit is more like it," I said, steering my horse into its stall. Grimbold guided his into the next stall over and dismounted.

"Whatever term you'd fancy, milady." I was too tired to argue with him over the use of 'milady' in that sentence. If I was a little bit smart, I might have accepted defeat by now, but I didn't. I convinced myself that there might be a day when people just called me Jana. My brain must have been knocked about by all this fighting if I thought that day would come.

I sighed as I began the trek up to the palace. Maybe I could schedule a bit of sleep time in before dinner tonight, because I knew that I wouldn't get much sleep after; not with Pippin and the Palantír in the same room.

And, as if my thoughts were being telepathically transmitted to everyone within 10 feet of me, Pippin and Merry were suddenly on either side of me. I gave them each a warm smile. "How have you guys been?" I asked after a moment of awkward silence.

"Oh, I've been better," Pippin said with a grin.

"Nah, bein' captured by Orcs, almost eaten for supper, almost trampled to death by horses, picked up by giant talking trees, almost becoming a tree's supper, and then destroying Orthanc isn't a traumatizing experience or anything," Merry said.

I shook my head. "It's good to have you two back," I said. I put my arms across their shoulders, and headed for the palace.

"Will you stop fidgeting?" Legolas said crossly to me.

"I can't help it," I whined. "It's just so quiet in here." I paused while he gave me one of those 'she's-mentally-deranged' looks. "You know, I have the biggest urge to scream 'hippopotamus' right now."

Legolas raised an eyebrow at me. "What?"

"I can't talk to anyone here!" I said. "Nobody understands anything that I say!"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Good job, brain. Really, way to go on that one. "Did I say something?" I said quickly.

"Yes," he said.

"No I didn't."

"Yes toy did."

"I did not."

"What is the matter with you?" Legolas hissed in a sudden burst of anger. I could see a vein twitching on his neck.

Suddenly Boromir tapped me on the shoulder from my other side. "Hush," he whispered, pointing at Eowyn, who was making her way towards Theoden, who stood in front of his throne at the front of the hall. When she reached him, she handed him a cup of wine, and then retreated back into the crowd. At this cue, everyone stood.

"Tonight," Theoden said gravely, "we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead!"

There was an echo of 'hail' throughout the hall, and then a few moments of silence as everyone drank.

Then everyone scattered from their seats and made their way through the hall to the tables that were behind us. I shook my head, and drained the last few drops of ale in my cup. "So we just beat a huge army of Uruk-hai, and lost a tone of men in the process," I said to myself, "and now we're going to party?"

Hours had gone by, filled with loud laughter, and lots of ale, accompanied by some angst, which seemed to have gathered in a cloud that was looming over Eowyn's head.

Gimli belched loudly from next to me, and smacked his empty mug down on the table. "You're falling behind, lass," he said, jerking his head at my one cup of ale that I had not even managed to finish yet.

I sighed. "I know," I said absently. For some reason, none of this felt right tonight. I mean, I hadn't really thought about what I was doing before, with the drinking and everything else that went along with it. But tonight… I guess I was… self-conscious, for once.

And I was starting to wonder if there was something wrong with me after all. I was sitting with Gimli, but my eyes had hardly left Pippin all night. I was starting to feel like a Mary-Sue-Super-Stalker. But I couldn't bring myself to get up and go sit with him; he was having such a great time with Merry, and I was starting to feel like Eowyn, with my own little cloud of angst over my head.

I was awakened from my thoughts by Legolas's sudden appearance on the other side of the table. "So it's a drinking game?" he said, raising an eyebrow, and staring at Gimli as though he were some sort of insect that had just crawled out of a pile of dung.

"Last one standing wins?" Gimli said, laughing richly, and then grabbing a full mug of ale. Someone slid another mug down the table for Legolas, and the Elf picked it up hesitantly, and then sniffed it, his face wrinkling as he did so.

Minutes passed while I just sat there and spaced out, absently switching between watching the Hobbits dance on the tables, and watching the piles of empty mugs grow larger. "Yes, it's the Dwarves that go swimming with little hairy women…" Gimli managed to slur out before grabbing another mug, and shoving it in his face. I snorted, wondering if I had ever looked or sounded this stupid, and wondering what my liver looked like right about now.

"I feel something…" Legolas said suddenly. Eomer turned around and raised his eyebrows at the Elf, and then gave me a questioning look. I shrugged at him. "A slight tingle in my fingers…" Legolas continued, staring at his hand as though something slimy was on it. "I think it's affecting me…"

Gimli snorted. "What'd I say? He can't hold his…" he trailed off before his chair went tipping backwards with a loud _bang_. I gave just enough effort to see if he was bleeding or not, before turning back to look at Legolas.

"Game over," he said simply.


	41. Sometimes I wish I was a Heavy Sleeper

**Author's Notes: Oh, my gosh, an update! I'm so sorry about not posting anything for, what has it been, MONTHS now. I'm always wicked busy with school, band, jazz band, Girl Scouts, and all of the other junk that goes on in my life. I'm officially on summer break now, so you should see some more updates coming in fairly soon. However, no more this week, because I'm leaving on Saturday for Girl Scout trip, but I'll try to write some more during the 8 hour car ride down to Washington D.C. And I'm sorry that this chapter is so short, but there was nothing that I could really do to extend this scene. So, enjoy! **

Chapter 41:

That night, I tried to position myself as far away from the Hobbits as possible. I mean, I love them dearly and all, but I'm tired of getting mixed up in their shenanigans. (Shenanigans: I love that word.)

I did attempt to get some sleep, really. I was tired and sore and a little cranky after the party, even though I didn't do much besides sit there and watch Gimli drink his heart out. I thought that sleeping next to Gimli would be a good plan, but, again, I was sadly mistaken. The Dwarf snores like a chainsaw.

So I just lay there for a few hours, contemplating how angry the others would be with me if I decided to stuff a wadded up handkerchief in Gimli's throat to stop him from snoring.

I was just starting to nod off when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I groaned. Pippin's resolve had finally broken. You know, for some reason, I was almost hoping that he wouldn't get up and that he'd save us all the trouble of rescuing him. But I knew that if he didn't, then we'd all be royally screwed.

"What you doin'?" I heard Merry say. Pippin froze in his tracks, then shook his head silently at Merry. "Pippin!" Merry hissed as his counterpart started to creep forward again. "Pippin?" But Pippin had reached Gandalf. I watched him as he took a look at Gandalf, then did a quick switch of the Palantir and a water pitcher. I groaned quietly. Why do Hobbits have to be so sneaky?

Pippin scurried over towards Merry with the Palantir. "Pippin, are you mad?" Merry said.

Pippin shook his head. "I just want to look at it," he said, "just one more time."

"Put it back!" Merry hissed. But Pippin ignored him and placed his hands on the Palantir. I rolled over, grabbed my pillow, and jammed it over my head. I didn't want to watch this.

"Pippin?" Merry said. I could hear the other Hobbit whimpering now. I pushed the pillow down harder over my ears in an attempt to block out the sound. "No!" Merry shouted. "Pippin? Pippin?"

Pippin let out a strangled yell, and I heard him fall backwards and hit the floor with a loud _thud_! "Help! Gandalf!" Merry shouted.

At this, I realized that I couldn't feign sleep much longer with all the noise that the Hobbits were making, so I hopped up just as the door burst open and Legolas and Aragorn ran in.

Aragorn dove towards Pippin, and somehow managed to grab the Palantir out of his hands. Boromir, who had just woken up, pushed roughly past me as he ran towards the Hobbits, so I followed. The two of us dropped down next to the motionless Pippin as Gandalf tossed a blanket over the Palantir. "Fool of a Took!" the Wizard shouted. But as he caught sight of Pippin, his anger turned to concern, He hurried over to the Hobbit, pushing Merry and myself out of the way as he did so. He placed his hands on Pippin's face and closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath. Suddenly Pippin's eyes opened, and he looked wildly around. "Look at me," Gandalf said softly.

"Gandalf…" Pippin whispered. "Forgive me…" His eyes continued to dart around.

Merry looked like he was about to start crying or possibly vomit. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it to let him know that it was going to be ok.

"Look at me!" Gandalf said more forcefully. The Hobbit's eyes snapped back on to him and stayed there. "What did you see?" Gandalf asked.

Pippin was silent for a few seconds. "A… A tree…" He finally managed to croak out. "There was a white tree, in a courtyard of stone… It was dead… The city was burning…"

I studied Gandalf's face as Pippin spoke, and watched his eyes grow dark at the mention of the tree. "Minas Tirith? Is that what you saw?" The Wizard prompted.

"I saw… I saw _him_…" Pippin sputtered. Merry whimpered from beside me. "I could hear his voice in my head…"

"What did you tell him?" Gandalf demanded. "Speak!"

"I don't think you need to yell –" I started, but he shot me one of those 'shut-up-or-die-a-very-painful-death' looks, and I fell silent.

"He asked me my name," Pippin said. "I didn't answer."

"What did you tell him about Frodo and the Ring?"


	42. Love

**Author's Notes: Yay, I'm back from my trip! I had about a 9 hour car ride to write in, but I found it a little distracting with the fact that it was POURING rain, and there were 5 girls crammed into a mini van, plus all of the Disney and Mama Mia! sing-along sessions that occurred. Anyway, here you go! **

Chapter 42:

Gandalf looked irritated as he paced back and forth in the hall. We were all gathered around, waiting for him to speak. Pippin was seated on a bench, and Merry and I stood protectively on either side of him, like a sort of guard. Boromir had been watching us intently for a while. But when Aragorn leaned in to speak with him, and he finally looked away, I took the opportunity to grab Pippin's hand. He looked up and gave me a warm but frightened smile, which I returned.

"There was no lie in Pippin's eye," Gandalf said. "A fool… but an honest fool he remains. He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring."

I watched Gimli breathe a sigh of relief, and the corners of Aragorn's mouth twitch up in what might have been called a smile. Then I noticed Legolas watching me, and I remembered that I should be surprised, too. So I squeezed Pippin's hand, and gave him and Merry a smile. Pippin looked happy, but Merry just stared at Gandalf, jaw clenched, watching him intently.

"We've been strangely fortunate," Gandalf continued. "Pippin saw in the Palantir a glimpse of the enemy's plan. Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith." Boromir's face grew dark, and a low growl escaped his lips. Aragorn put a hand on his shoulder. "His defeat at Helms Deep showed our enemy one thing: he knows the heir to the throne of Gondor has come forth; Men are not as weak as he supposed. There is courage still – strength, perhaps enough to challenge him. Sauron fears this. He will not risk the peoples of Middle Earth uniting under one banner. He will raise Minas Tirith to the ground before he sees a king return to the throne of Men." He stopped pacing and turned to look at Theoden. "If the beacons of Gondor are lit, Rohan must be ready for war."

Theoden thought this one over for a minute. "Tell me," he said, "why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?"

I really wanted to scream, 'Listen, you git! Aragorn freaking saved your ass at Helms Deep, and last I checked, he was kinda from _Gondor_!', but I reframed.

"I will go," Aragorn and Boromir said at the same time. Then they turned around and stared at each other, as if what the other had said was absurd.

"No!" Gandalf barked at Aragorn.

"They must be warned!" Aragorn protested.

"That is why I will go," Boromir said.

Gandalf nodded at Boromir, then leaned in close to Aragorn. "You must come to Minas Tirith by another road," the Wizard whispered. "Follow the river. Look to the black ships." He turned around to face the rest of us again. "Understand this: things are now in motion that cannot be undone." He paused. "I ride for Minas Tirith." He turned around and stared at Pippin. "And I won't be going alone." With that, he turned on his heel and stalked out of the hall. Theoden grumbled something, then waved at Gambling and Eomer to follow him out of the hall as well.

"Who was he looking at?" Pippin asked.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Merry beat me to it. "You, you blockhead!" he snapped.

Pippin looked taken aback by Merry's sudden outburst. "Me?" he said. Merry glared at him, then turned and walked out after Gandalf. "Merry?" Pippin called after him. Then he turned around to look at me.

I squeezed his hand. "Go after him," I said heavily. He looked apologetically at me, then stood and followed his friend. My heart lurched as our hands broke apart. So now it was his turn to leave.

I stood there for a while longer, staring at nothing. What if he didn't survive the final battle? What if they were ambushed on their way to Minas Tirith? As the what-ifs ran through my head, I began to tremble.

Suddenly, I realized that I needed to tell him how I felt. I needed to convey my feelings to another living thing for the first time in what felt like my life. I needed to say goodbye before he left, possibly for the last time.

I walked shakily out of the hall and into the bright morning sunlight. I could see Gandalf and the Hobbits heading towards the stables. "Of all the inquisitive Hobbits, Peregrine Took, you are the worst!" Gandalf shouted. "Hurry, hurry!"

I was about to scurry over and stop Pippin from entering the stables, but somebody grabbed my arm. I turned around to see Boromir. "Jana, could I speak with you a moment?" he asked. His voice was quiet, almost subdued.

"Um, sure," I said uncertainly, glancing towards the two arguing Hobbits. I still had time… I hoped.

To my surprise, Boromir grabbed my arm again and started pulling me behind the stables. "Boromir, what are we doing back here?" I asked.

"I need to tell you something," he said.

"Well, yeah, I kinda figured so," I said sarcastically.

Boromir sighed. "Jana, just please listen to me," he said. I shut up. "I don't know how to phrase this," he stammered. He rambled on for a few more seconds, something about when we met, I think, but I wasn't paying him any attention. I was straining my ears to pick up any Hobbit-like sounds. When I didn't hear any, I knew that they must have moved into the stables. That meant that I had even less time than I had thought. "I've tried to tell you this earlier, but the time never presented itself," Boromir continued. "And now I fear that this might be my only opportunity to do so…"

"Oh, for God's sake, Boromir, spit it out already!" I snapped, frustrated at how much of my already limited time he was taking up.

He stared at me for a few seconds, then blinked. "I love you," he spluttered. I blinked once, then turned and looked over my shoul-

Woah. Back it up.

My head whipped back around so fast that my neck cracked painfully. "What did you say?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. Surely I had misheard him.

"I love you," he repeated.

Boromir. Love. Me. For some reason those words didn't seem to coexist together in my brain.

"Um, are you sure that you're not confusing this feeling with hunger or something?" I suggested stupidly, desperate for this situation to be some giant misunderstanding.

"Jana, I'm telling you that I love you, and you're making jokes?" Boromir asked incredulously.

"_Me_ making jokes?" I said. "Please tell me _you're_ the one who's joking here."

He looked reproachfully at me. "So I would give you my heart, and you would shove it back in my face in this manor?" he said. I blinked hard, trying to rid my vision of the imaginary fog that seemed to be clouding it. Then I raised my hand, and slapped myself hard across the face. "What are you doing?" Boromir yelped.

"Trying to wake myself up from this nightmare," I said.

Boromir just stared at me, his expression somewhere along the lines of a kicked puppy. "Are you saying that you don't love me?" he asked after a long pause.

I sighed. "Boromir, look," I said, "I think you're a great guy and all, but I'm not thinking about anything like… this."

"What about Pippin?" he muttered under his breath.

My stomach suddenly felt like an icy boulder had dropped into it. "I… um… well we're… that's different…" As I spluttered on, I realized how unfair I was being to Boromir. I knew that he had good intentions at heart, but this whole thing was just… awkward. "Boromir, I'm sorry, it's just – "

"That you love Pippin, and not me," he said. He took one last, long look at me, then turned, and walked back around to the stables.

I stood rooted to the spot, staring after Boromir. I was still in shock. How could Boromir possibly love me?

Suddenly, two rockets of color, one white, the other dark brown, came bursting out of the stables.

I was too late.

I wrenched my feet from the ground and took off at a full sprint towards the stables. By the time I got there, Gandalf, Boromir, and Pippin were already out in the fields. "No…" I whispered as I started to cry.

A blurry Merry pushed by me and climbed up the ladder to the small outpost, soon followed by a blurry Aragorn. I could hear them talking above me as I sank to the ground, my body racked with silent sobs.

He was gone. Pippin was gone. And I hadn't said goodbye.

111

I don't know how long I had been lying there. A pretty long time, I guessed, judging by the small mud puddle that had formed on the ground where my head had been resting.

Suddenly, I shadow was me. "Jana?" I hadn't heard Merry come down. He crouched down next to me, and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?" he asked.

I looked up at him, blinking furiously to get rid of the tears. "Gone," I choked out after a few seconds, then I burst into tears again.

Merry looked at me for a few seconds. "You love him, don't you?" he said quietly. I nodded slowly, then buried my face in his shoulder, and sobbed even harder. 


	43. Sunshine and Snags

**Author's Notes: Huzzah, an update! I would have published this chapter earlier, but I thought that finishing my summer homework was a little bit more important. In case any of you were wondering, it's still not done yet.**

**Chapter 43:**

The days passed slowly. We were all tired and wondering what would happen next. Well, everyone else was wondering – I knew.

My time was spent doing a variety of things to keep my mind off of Pippin. I'd listen to Merry tell stories about the Shire, then check over the food supplies with Eowyn, then take a nap, then, surprisingly, tend to the horses with Legolas.

One particularly boring day, we all found ourselves, with the exception of Aragorn, lazing about in the hall. For myself, I had nothing to do today, because the food supplies had been checked and rechecked, the horses had been well groomed and fed, Gambling said he was tired of practicing combat with me, and Grimbold had run out of errands for me to run for him. And all of this meant that my mind was focused on Pippin.

Merry was sitting across from me, absently drumming his fingers on the table. "Tell me a story, Merry," I said.

"Alright, then," he said. "Have I told you 'bout how Pippin and I ended up going to Rivendell with Fordo and Sam?" I shook my head. I knew this one, but I was so bored, I let him continue. "This is a good one," he said with a small laugh. "You see, Pip and I, we were just walking along, minding our own business, when suddenly we stumbled upon some lovely carrots… and some lettuce… and some tomatoes…" He paused to think. "And there might have been some radishes in there, too. Anyway –"

But Merry never finished that thought, because Aragorn came bursting into the hall. "The beacons of Minas Tirith!" he shouted. "The beacons are lit!" He came to a halt just in front of Theoden. "Gondor call for aid!"

Theoden seemed to consider this for a moment. Then, with a faint smile on his face, he said, "And Rohan will answer. Muster the Rohirrim!"

Almost at once, the entire hall was in motion. People were scrambling here and there, gathering items, clearing tables off.

I made a mad dash for one of the rooms off of the main hall where we had been storing our things. I grabbed the blanket that I had been using to sleep on with one hand, and my small pack with the other. After a few minutes of trying to stuff the blanket in, I gave up and decided to dump the bag's other contents out to fit the blanket in first.

Inside were just a few things: some apples I had taken to snack on, a small knife that Grimbold had found for me, an extra shirt, and the scarf that Galadriel had given me. I picked the scarf up. It was an ugly thing, really; dull, dark blue in color, with a few snags here and there, even though I had never worn it before. All it did was make me think of Pippin again, and how excited he had been the day that Galadriel had given him his dagger. I stuffed the scarf angrily back into my pack, roughly wiping the tears from my eyes.

***

When I made it outside some time later, I saw that the yard was even more of a disaster than the hall had been. Men and horses were running everywhere.

I heard footsteps and the clanking of armor behind me. I scuttled off to the side as everyone else came out of the hall. "Assemble the men at Dunharrow; as many men as can be found," Theoden said as he strode onto the steps. He stopped walking, turned around, and placed his hand of Eomer's shoulder. "You have two days. On the third, we ride for Gondor, and war." Eomer hurried off to the stables to get his horse.

"Gambling," Theoden said, "make haste across the Riddermark; summon every able-bodied man to Dunharrow." At this order, Gambling, too, hurried off.

As for myself, I scrambled down the steps and made my way towards the stables. When I got there, I found my usual horse already saddled and ready to go. "Come on, boy," I said, grabbing the reins, and leading him into the yard. There, I found Aragorn and Eowyn.

"You ride with us?" Aragorn asked her, somewhat skeptically.

"Just for the encampment," Eowyn said. "It's tradition for the women of the Court to farewell the men."

I stopped watching them then, and turned my attention back to my horse. I looked around for something to stand on so that I could get up on him.

"The men have found their captain," I heard Eowyn continue. "They will follow you into battle – even to death… You have given us hope."

I made a loud retching noise then, and they both turned and looked at me. "Oh, don't mind me," I said, "I'll just be over here, emptying my stomach from all this sappyness."

I led my horse away from them and their concerned stares, and headed towards a stack of crates. I hopped up on one to get a boost up, then scrambled my way onto him. He snorted. "Oh, shut up, you fat lard!" I snapped, smacking him on the top of his head. "What do you have to complain about? You're a freaking horse!"

By this time, the majority of the riders were ready to go. I made my way towards the head of the column, where Legolas and Gimli were.

"Horsemen?" Gimli grunted as I pulled my horse up along side him. "I wish we could muster a legion of Dwarves, fully armed and filthy."

"Your kinsmen have no need to ride to war," Legolas said darkly. "I fear war already marches on their mountains."

"Well, bright little ray of sunshine there, you are," I said. He shot me a reproachful look.

Suddenly Eomer came riding by us. "Now is the hour," he shouted to his riders above the din, "Riders of Rohan, oaths you have taken, now, fulfill them all, to Lord, and land! Ha!" he said as he kicked his horse forward. Everyone else followed suit.

This was not going to be a pleasant ride.


	44. Always Me

**Author's Notes: Gah! *****Dodges random flying objects***** No, really, this is an update! So, yeah, I'm on school break right now, but I'm not guaranteeing another update, because I still have softball and jazz band, and I get to run around in the woods at my history teacher's house on Tuesday reenacting WWII. So, enjoy! **

**Chapter 44: **

If I had to use any two words to describe our encampment, they would be: _surprisingly impressive_. Thousands upon thousands of tents filled the open plains beneath the mountain, and even more had already been erected on top of it, which was where we were heading.

As we continued towards the path that would take up the mountain, men stopped what they were doing and stared as we passed, some with hope in their eyes, other with the grave understanding that we were riding to our deaths.

"Grimbold, how many?" Theoden asked as we passed by him.

"About five-hundred from the West Fold, my Lord," he said.

"We have three-hundred more from Penmark, Theoden King!" someone shouted.

"Where are the riders from Snowball?" Theoden demanded to no one in particular.

"None have come, my Lord," someone answered.

When we reached the mountain path, we had to go single file because it was so narrow. I went up second to last, with only Merry behind me.

"Why'd you get a normal sized horse?" he asked as we began the assent. "It'd be much more practical to give you a pony, seein' as you're only a couple inches taller than me. Would save you from climbin' up on something every time you needed to get on, anyway.

I could hear laughter in his voice, but for some reason, its usual spell had no effect on me today.

"Dunno," I answered dully, not really in the mood to discuss horses. In truth, I wasn't in the mood to discuss anything right now, or even be around people. A box seemed a fitting place to be; it was small, enclosed, and dark, and only room for one.

When we reached the top, we dismounted our horses and tied them up. Eomer showed me to the tent I'd be sleeping in, and I ducked in right away, mostly to get away from everyone else. A tent wasn't a box, but it would have to do for now.

I plopped myself down on one of the mats already lain out. I took off my pack and put it down beside me. Then I let myself fall over, and I lay there on my side for several minutes, my mind completely blank.

However, after a few minutes, my brain started to kick back into gear. This was the first time I'd actually been able to think about the day that Pippin left – the first time I'd been able to confront my feelings about it. I wished that I'd said something to him; maybe something along the lines of 'hey-I-just-thought-I'd-tell-you-that-I-kinda-really-like-you-and-I-just-thought-I'd-mention-it-now-incase-we-die-in-the-near-furture.' If not that, I think a goodbye would have sufficed.

And then there was Boromir. I groaned and rolled over at the thought, covering my face with my hands. I had not seen that coming. I mean, what did we have in common? Nothing! I didn't want him to feel anything for me just because I'd saved his life; I didn't want him to feel like that out of debt. In fact, I didn't want him to feel like that towards me at all.

I jammed a blanket over my head and closed my eyes.

*** 

When I woke up, I was surprised to find that it was dark. I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Looking around, I saw more packs in the tent. Obviously, people had been in, but no one had deemed it important enough to wake me.

I got up and stuck my head out of the tent. I saw Theoden and Aragorn standing together not too far from my tent, looking out over the edge of the cliff at the rows of tents below.

"Six-thousand spears," Theoden said, "less than half of what I'd hoped for."

"Six-thousand will not be enough to break the lines of Mordor," Aragorn said darkly.

"More will come," Theoden said. I snorted at his pointless optimism.

"Maybe our lost hastens Gondor's defeat," Aragorn continued. "We have 'till dawn, then we must ride." Theoden nodded, then walked away. Aragorn lingered a moment longer, then left as well.

I waited a minute or so, then headed in the same direction I had seen Aragorn head in. I found him, as well as Eomer, Gimli, and Legolas.

"The horses are restless, and the men are quiet," Legolas said as I slipped into the little group meeting next to Gimli.

"They grow nervous in the shadow of the mountain," Eomer explained, casting a concerned glance in its direction.

"That road there, where does that lead?" Gimli asked, jerking his head in the direction of a narrow path that led into the mountain.

"It is the door to the mountain," Legolas said, a shadow crossing his face.

"None who venture there ever return," Eomer said. "That mountain is evil." He looked at all of us, then walked away. Legolas stalked off in the opposite direction.

"Hungry, lass?" Gimli asked me. I nodded, and we started to walk away. But Gimli stopped suddenly. I turned around to see Aragorn staring, transfixed, at the mountain path. "Aragorn," Gimli said, tapping him hard on the arm, "let's find some food."

Aragorn seemed to come to, but in the next second, hurried off in the opposite direction. Gimli muttered something under his breath, then turned and headed towards the small fire that Gambling had started. I followed.

***

A while later, Gambling, Gimli, Eomer, and I were seated around the fire, our bellies now full with what Gambling had so proudly called 'supper', but what looked more like a plate of mashed-up rat with a few pieces of dirt and rock scattered in it.

Suddenly, a noise came from the tent behind us, and Eowyn and Merry came out. "To the smithy! Go!" Eowyn said with a smile on her face. Merry grinned and dashed away, a small sword clutched in his hand.

"You should not encourage him," Eomer said.

"You should not doubt him," Eowyn countered.

"I do not doubt his heart," Eomer said, "only the reach of his arm." Gambling snorted from next to me.

"Why should Merry be left behind?" Eowyn asked. "He has as much cause to go to war as you… Why can he not fight for those he loves?"

Eomer sighed and stood up. "You know as little of war as that Hobbit," Eomer said to his sister, who regarded him with a defiant glare on her face. "When the fear takes him, and the blood and the screams and the horror of battle take hold, do you think he would stand and fight?" Eowyn said nothing. "He would flee," Eomer continued, "and he would be right to do so… War is the province of men, Eowyn."

Eowyn stared at her brother, then sent me a nasty look, and stormed off. I shrank where I sat, wondering why it was always me. 


	45. Nothing Better to Do

**Author's Notes: Oh my gosh. 2 updates in a week? This is a thing unheard of! I was really tired after running around in the woods for my WWII reenactment, so I sat on the couch all morning writing this chapter, then I went and played a softball game. You're very lucky that I'm posting this right now, because I'm missing part of the Bruins Sabers game right now (Go Bruins!). **

**Chapter 45: **

As much as I wanted to sleep after dinner that night, I knew I couldn't. Aragorn was going to make his escape tonight, and the other two were going with him. I was not about to be left behind.

I returned to my tent only to retrieve my pack, then I set up camp next to my horse. Luckily for me, no one bothered me all night, and I was able to sit in silence, absently stroking my horse and waiting.

Finally, after an hour or so, I saw movement. It was Aragorn and Eowyn. I crouched down low beside my horse and peered at them from around his legs.

"Why are you doing this?" Eowyn hissed as Aragorn untied his horse. "The war lies to the east. You cannot leave on the eve of battle!" She paused. "You cannot abandon the men… we need you here."

It took all the willpower I had not to tell her to find someone else to flirt with. Instead, I remained silent, choosing not to break my cover just yet.

Aragorn sighed, and stopped readying his horse. "Why have you come?" he asked.

"Do you not know?" Eowyn whispered.

Aragorn gave her a long look. "It is but a shadow and thought that you love," he said quietly. "I cannot give you what you seek…" Eowyn closed her eyes and it was obvious that she was trying to fight off tears. "I have wished you joy from the moment I saw you," Aragorn said. He reached up and put his hand gently on her face, then turned and walked away, pulling his horse with him.

I jumped up and grabbed my horse's reins and followed Aragorn at a safe distance. As I passed Eowyn she stared at me, her eyes harboring shock, anger, and sadness all at once.

"Just where do you think you're off to?" Gimli said as Aragorn passed the place where he was sitting.

"Not this time," Aragorn said. "This time you must stay, Gimli."

"Have you learnt nothing of the stubbornness of Dwarves?" Legolas said, stepping beside me, his horse in tow.

"You might as well accept it; we're going with you, laddie," Gimli said, his eyes twinkling.

Aragorn looked at Gimli, then Legolas, and then to me. "You're coming?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "Got nothing better to do," I said with a smile.

***

As we rode through the camp, people stopped and stared at us and whispered as we passed.

"Where's he going?"

"Lord Aragorn!"

"Why does he leave on the eve of battle?"

"He leaves because there is no hope," Gamling said as I rode passed him.

"He leaves because he must," Theoden said. All of the whispers stopped, and everyone was now focused on him.

"Too few have come," Gamling argued. "We cannot defeat the armies of Mordor."

"No, we cannot," Theoden said calmly. "But we will meet them in battle none the less."

My stomach lurched at his words. The reasonable voice in the back of my mind told me we would still win, but the much louder, slightly unbalanced voice told me we were all going to die.

***

We rode for several hours in silence. Aragorn was brooding over his little destiny dilemma, while the rest of us were too tired to talk.

Finally, Gimli broke the silence. "What kind of army would linger in such a place?"

"One that is cursed," Legolas said darkly. "Long ago, the men of the mountains swore an oath to the last king of Gondor, to come to his aid, to fight. But when the time came, when Gondor's need was dire, they fled, vanishing into the mountain. And so Isildur cursed them, never to rest, until they had fulfilled their pledge." He paused and looked between Gimli and myself, then continued. "You shall call them from the gray twilight, the forgotten people, the heir of the oath to whom they swore. From the north shall he come. Need shall drive him. He shall pass the door to the paths of the dead."

There was silence. "Uh… great, great story, Legolas," I said awkwardly. He nodded at me, then lapsed into silence. Gimli and I exchanged a look, neither of us entirely sure what just happened there.

***

Finally, we reached the door that Legolas had told us about. We dismounted our horses, who all freaked and ran away as soon as we were off of them.

"The very warmth of my blood seems stolen away," Gimli said. I shuddered too, noticing the fog that was coming out of the door and curling over our ankles.

"The way is shut," Legolas said, reading the markings over the door. "It was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it. The way is shut.

"I do not fear death," Aragorn said. Then he marched right through the door and disappeared. Legolas looked at us, then followed Aragorn in.

"Well, this is a thing unheard of!" Gimli said. "An Elf will go on the ground where a Dwarf dare not? Ah, I'd never hear the end of it." He charged forward after Legolas.

I took one last look around at the world of the living, gulped, then followed Gimli in. 


	46. The Dead

**Author's Notes: No, there's nothing wrong with me; I'm just really bored. And I've realized how much of a jerk face I've been to you guys by not updating. So I'm going to try to keep the updates as a regular thing. No guarantees about the number per month, but I wanted to let you guys know that I skipped my jazz band rehearsal last night to write this chapter for you (that, and the Bruins were on). :) So, please, enjoy! **

**Chapter 46:**

And I thought talking trees were bad. This cave is the scariest place I have been in. Ever.

The fog that I had seen outside was twice as thick in here. It was dark, and I had to strain my eyes to see more than five feet in front of me. The Death Fog now came up almost to my shoulders. I might have found the fact that it looked like my head was floating funny if I wasn't scared shitless right now. 

We walked in single file order along the narrow path with Aragorn in the lead. As usual, I was designated to the near guard position, with Gimli not too far in front of me. I was not about to get lost in here.

Suddenly Legolas whipped his head around as if he was looking at something. "What is it? What do you see?" Gimli whispered.

"I see the shapes of men… and of horses," Legolas said with a slight edge to his voice. I knew he was scared, but I also knew he would never admit it. Elves just don't do that sort of thing.

"Where?" Gimli asked. He tightened his grip on his axe, and looked around, as if expecting something to jump out at him.

"They hold banners like shreds of cloud," Legolas said. "Spears rise like winter thickets through a shroud of mist." He paused. "The dead are following. They have been summoned."

"The dead? Summoned?" Gimli yelped as he stopped in his tracks. "… I knew that." He turned to look at me, and I nodded in agreement. "Ha, very good, very good." He looked over his shoulder to where Legolas had been, but the Elf had vanished. "Legolas!" he yelled. We both took off at a run, only to find Legolas and Aragorn a few paces ahead of us. I sighed in relief.

We kept walking for a minute or so, then the path narrowed even more. Aragorn took a hesitant step forward, and something cracked under his foot. He glanced downward, and the color drained from his face. "Do not look down," he said very calmly.

Legolas followed him forward, but nothing cracked under his feet. Just another perk of being an Elf, I guess.

Gimli went next. I hovered as close behind him as I could. There was a sickening _crunch_ as I took my first step. And, totally ignoring Aragorn's warning, I looked down to see what it was. What I saw was a path of skulls.

I shrieked, and pushed Gimli forward. We ran the rest of the distance, skulls breaking beneath us with each step we took. When we reached the other side, Aragorn and Legolas were waiting for us.

"I told you not to look down," he said, one eyebrow raised at me.

"Yeah, well, you know how well I listen," I huffed.

We continued on for a while, then we found ourselves in what looked like a cavern. On our left was the high wall of the cave, and on the right, a cliff.

Aragorn marched us into the center, then stopped. "Uh, are you sure this is the right place?" I asked. "I mean, you don't think that the Dead might want to meet us in a place that's a little, I don't know, _less creepy_?" Aragorn shot me a look. Apparently, he wasn't in a joking mood.

Suddenly a voice echoed around us. "Who enters my domain?" A second later, a very tall, very green figure appeared in front of us. He looked like a floating decomposing zombie.

"One who will have you allegiance," Aragorn said.

"The dead do not suffer the living to pass," the Ghost King said.

"Uh, I think this guy means serious business," I said, my eyes darting around to the other three, but they all ignored me.

"You will suffer me," Aragorn growled.

The Ghost King looked at us for a second, then started to laugh a big, booming laugh that echoed throughout the cavern. All of the sudden, other green objects started to appear around us. In a matter of seconds, we were surrounded.

_Gulp_.

"The way is shut," the Ghost King said. "It was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it. The way is shut. Now you must die."

Legolas reached behind him and grabbed an arrow and shot it. It went right through the Ghost King's head and landed with a clatter on the stone near by.

"I summon you to fulfill your oath," Aragorn said quite calmly.

"Aragorn, now would be a good time to switch into panic mode," I said, backing away from the hoards of approaching Dead.

"None but the king of Gondor may command me," the Ghost King growled. In the next second, he lunged. Gimli, Legolas, and I scattered, but Aragorn brought up his sword to meet the Ghost King's. I was expecting to hear a _whiff_ noise, but instead there was the sound of metal on metal. The Ghost King stopped his attack, stunned by what had just happened. Aragorn reached for his throat and took hold. "The blade was broken!" he spluttered.

"It has been remade," Aragorn said. He released the Ghost King, and began to prowl amongst the Dead. "Fight for us, and regain your honor," he said. "What say you?" There was silence. "What say you?" he repeated.

"Ah, you waste your time, Aragorn," Gimli said. "They had no honor in life, they have none now in death."

Aragorn ignored him. "I am Isildur's heir; fight for me, and I will hold your oaths fulfilled." The Dead stared blankly at him. "What say you?" Then they started to disappear. "You have my word! Fight, and I will release you from this living death! What say you?" Despite his shouting, the Dead continued to vanish.

"Stand, you traitors!" Gimli bellowed, but they were already gone.

Aragorn turned around and looked at us. "Well, it was worth a shot, wasn't it?" I said, clasping my hands together. "Now, about getting out of here…"

Apparently, someone had been listening, because there suddenly came a great rumbling noise that sounded like thunder. The stone wall to our left was crumbling.

"Run!" Aragorn screamed.

We didn't need to be told twice. In a flash, the four of us were across to the other side of the cavern and heading down the path that would, presumably, lead us out.

But all of the sudden, the rock to our left burst, and skulls came tumbling down upon us. I screamed, and ran as fast as I could to get out of there. It was a full out sprint to the exit, but we finally made it out in one piece.

As soon as I saw daylight, I tumbled onto the grass and lay motionless, my breathing ragged. You could not have paid me to go back in there. Ever.

I saw Aragorn drop to his knees in front of me, and recognized immediately what he was feeling: complete and total failure. It was a feeling that I woke up to everyday back on Earth.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Legolas tense behind me. I turned around to see the Ghost King hovering next to the rocks.

"We fight."

***

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked Aragorn. My eyes darted to the black ships approaching on the river, then to the rocks behinds us, then to Aragorn's face.

"Yes," he said.

"Okay, whatever you say, capt'n," I said with a shrug. Personally, I thought this was a horrible idea, and, as usual, I thought we were all going to die.

In the next minute, the large black ships were nearly level with us. Then men on board were looking curiously at us.

"You may go no further," Aragorn called calmly to them. "You will not enter Gondor."

One of the men laughed harshly at him. "Who are you to deny us passage?" he called.

"Legolas," Aragorn said, "fire a warning shot past his ear."

Legolas grabbed an arrow and prepared to fire. "Mind your aim," Gimli said. He winked at me. Just as Legolas was about to release his arrow, Gimli knocked his bow with his axe. The arrow missed completely, and hit the man in the chest. "Oh! We warned you!" Gimli said smugly, while Legolas glared daggers at him. "Prepare to be boarded!"

"By you and whose army?" one of the men mocked.

"This army," Aragorn said quietly.

All of the sudden, a swarming mass of green charged at the ships. Some of the men had time to scream, but the skirmish was over in a matter of seconds.

"Why didn't we find these guys sooner?" I asked, shaking my head.

Aragorn gave me the first smile I'd seen in a long time. "Come on."

The four of us clambered into the first ship. Well, Aragorn and Legolas clambered; Gimli and I had to be lifted. Aragorn nodded at the Ghost King, who then signaled to his men. In the next second, they had disappeared into the remaining ships.

Aragorn took the wheel, while Gimli, Legolas, and I moved the dead bodies to the back of the ship. To my horror, Legolas bent down and removed the armor of a small one, then held it out to me.

"Uhn-uh," I said. "I am not wearing that. That just came off a dead body!"

Legolas sighed. "Jana, either you put it on, or you'll end up dead yourself."

"Lass, trust me, you'll want that," Gimli said as he dragged another body over to the pile. "Anyway, I don't really feel like burying you when this is over."

My stomach twisted into an uncomfortable knot at his words. Legolas shot me a look. We bother knew that if I died, there wouldn't be a chance for a burial. I grabbed the armor from him and put it on.

Then we settled in for the journey to Gondor, and to war.


	47. Cuts

**Author's Notes: Ah, well, so much for trying to fit the entire battle into one chapter. It's just a little too big. Anyway, I'll try to work on the next chapter sometime soon, but I'm done with vacation now, which means back to school, softball, and jazz band. Wish me luck, and enjoy! **

**Chapter 47:**

I would feel the ship rock backwards as it bumped into the dock. I glanced at Aragorn, and he nodded his head at me, jaw clenched.

"Late, as usual, you pirate scum!" the harsh voice of an Orc shouted. "There's enough work here needs doing!" Aragorn shook his head at us. "Come on, you sea-rats, get off your ships!"

Aragorn nodded his head this time, and the four of launched ourselves up and out of the ship. The other three landed gracefully on their feet, while I tripped over the side of the ship and landed in a heap on the ground.

The group of Orcs stared at us. I couldn't tell if they were surprised or appalled. But their expressions turned to those of terror as soon as the Dead army charged out from behind us.

I picked myself up off the ground, and the four of us started forward. "There's plenty for the both of us," Gimli said, looking sideways at Legolas. "May the best Dwarf win!" The Elf rolled his eyes, and tightened his grip on his bow.

As for myself, I lifted my sword a little and held it at the ready. I would feel the sweat forming on my forehead, and my throat felt unusually dry. It was making it hard to breathe.

Aragorn placed a hand on my shoulder. "Be strong," he said. I opened my mouth, but I found myself unable to speak. So I shut it, and nodded instead. In the next second, he charged.

I glanced at my two remaining companions. With a slight nod of the head, Legolas conveyed what we were all thinking: now or never. I looked at each of them for what could possibly be the last time, then followed Aragorn's lead, and headed into the fray.

Men, horses, and Orcs were everywhere. It was near on impossible to see which of the three were coming at you at times. I found that ducking and running were good solutions to this problem.

I could already hear Gimli shouting his kill count to Legolas over the din of the battle. I chuckled softly to myself, and shook my head.

But I was brought back to reality by an Orc that was charging straight at me. I waited until it was close enough, then swung my sword and beheaded the thing. Its lifeless body slumped to the ground in front of my, while its head went rolling off in the other direction. I looked down to see a puddle of dark, oozy liquid forming around the body. My world started to spin. I shook my head, and forced myself to move away.

"Fifteen…! Sixteen…!" I heard Legolas shout. I had to hand it to him, as annoying as he could be sometimes, he had some serious skills. But those probably came from HUNDREDS OF YEARS of training. Just a hunch.

"Seventeen!" I heard Gimli shout back in retaliation. I guess he wasn't actually on seventeen, but, hey, the guy's gotta win sometime, right?

I fought my way over to where Gimli was, and helped him finish off a handful of Orcs that seemed to be intent of killing him.

Then the two of us watched as Legolas single-handedly took down an Oliphant with only a couple of arrows. Then he gracefully slid off the creature's trunk, and looked our direction, face set, but eyes gleaming with laughter.

"That still only counts as one!" Gimli barked after a few seconds of stunned silence. Legolas gave him a look that seemed to say 'suit yourself', then hurried off. Gimli and I shrugged, then continued fighting.

***

A while later – I wasn't sure how long, exactly – the battle seemed to be slowing down just a bit. The number of Orcs and other baddies running around seemed to be depleted, although, much to my disappointment, there was only a tiny lull in the action.

I had been separated from Gimli a while back, but I had managed to hold my own, and, somehow, I wasn't dead yet.

I finished hacking at my last Orc, and turned around to see if I could locate any of my friends. But all of the sudden, I heard a noise that was resistant of thunder behind me. I whipped around just in time to see a warg charging straight at me.

Before I even had time to lift my sword, the warg had sprung, and had sunk its teeth into my left shoulder. I screamed in pain as it lifted me off of the ground and proceeded to shake me like a rag doll in its mouth, before it released me, and sent me flying a good ten feet. I hit the ground hard, all wind knocked out of me.

When I looked up, I could see the beast approaching, its teeth barred, with a low, awful growl escaping from its throat. I held my left arm tight to my body, my shoulder screaming in pain, and attempted to crawl backwards away from the warg. But after just a few feet, I found myself up against a dead Oliphant.

This was not good, not good at all.

The warg was getting closer, and I had nowhere to run. I reached down for my sword, and felt a wave of terror wash over me as I realized it wasn't there. It must have fallen off when the warg threw me.

The warg was less than eight feet away.

All of the sudden, I felt a hot, searing pain in my left wrist. I looked down and saw, to my horror, a series of red lines forming across my wrist. Instantly, I knew what they were: my cuts from my old life.

In that second, I knew I was going to die. This wasn't just me being pessimistic this time. Whatever design had brought me here in the first place was now about to snuff me out for good.

This was it. This was the end.

The pain was becoming more intense in my wrist, and I could feel blood oozing down my arm. I closed my eyes, not wanting the last thing I saw in Middle Earth to be the ugly snout of a warg. I wanted to see Pippin one more time. I cursed myself for not saying goodbye.

I braced for impact. I braced for the leap and the bite that never came.

Instead of the horrible snarling noise I had been expecting, I heard the sound of hooves pounding into the ground, and of a sword slicing at flesh and bone.

I opened my eyes to see, of all the people fighting in this battle, Boromir, sitting on his horse, bloody sword in hand, and dead warg on the ground next to him.

All I could do was gape, mouth open. Then I glanced down at my wrist. The cuts were fading away again. I wasn't going to die!

I looked back up at Boromir, wanting to thank him a thousand times over for what he had done. But all words died in my throat when I saw the look of anguish on his face. My entire body went cold. I had only the briefest clue as to what he must be feeling like – to have saved the life of the one person who had caused him so much misery and heartache. He looked at me for another second, then tugged the reins of his horse, and rode away. I wanted to call after him, but he was gone.

Instead, I turned to examine my shoulder. It was gushing blood still, and it seemed as though whole chunks of flesh had been torn right off. There were bits of dirt around the edges. My world started to spin as I continued to stare, then everything went black.


	48. Ouch

**Author's Notes: Update!!!!! Sorry about the week or so in between posts. This chapter was done a few days ago, but I decided that watching the Bruins game Monday night was a little more important. Anyway, I figured I should post this now, because I have nothing but music rehearsal for the rest of the week (including one in 20 minutes), and then our concert on Sunday. **

**Chapter 48:**

I opened my eyes and immediately wished I hadn't. The world was a blur of moving colors, without any distinguishable shapes. I shook my head to try to clear my vision. Ouch. Movement hurts.

After a minute or so, the world calmed down and ceased to move. I focused on what lay directly to my right. I was appalled to see that it was a dead body; an Easterling. The boy didn't look that much older than me. His dark hair fell in wisps around his face, and he looked almost peaceful. My stomach churned, and I forced myself to look away.

However, to my left, I saw something even more terrifying: the crumpled form of a Hobbit lay motionless next to me, a dead Orc draped over him.

"Merry," I chocked out, my voice hoarse, partly from lack of use for who knows how long, and partly from fear that he might actually be dead. "Merry!"

The Hobbit didn't stir. I tried to push myself into a sitting position, but fell straight back to the ground as my left arm gave out. I screamed out in pain, having completely forgotten about the warg and my shoulder.

I ventured a glance at it, and immediately regretted it. The wound was open and dirty, and was already starting to turn yellow around the edges.

Again, I tried to push myself into a sitting position, this time without putting any pressure on my right arm. I was dizzy, but I didn't fall over. I had to see if Merry was still alive. If he was dead, it was all my fault.

I tried dragging myself over to him, not trusting myself to stand. There was a loud pounding noise in my ears, and the world was still spinning, but I was determined to make it over to the fallen Hobbit.

I managed to drag myself for a few feet before I finally gave in to the pounding noise, and my vision blacked out. I had not calculated blood loss into this.

I slumped over. I could feel the ground spinning beneath me. There was something oddly comforting about not being able to see.

111

The next time I opened my eyes, I found that I was being carried across the field. Normally, I didn't like to be carried, but I felt pretty weak and kinda funny, so I didn't protest.

I squinted up into my apparent rescuer's face, and was shocked to find that it was Boromir.

What? What did I do to deserve this? I swear, something out there has it in for me.

I closed my eyes again. "You don't have to pretend to be unconscious," he said quietly.

Silently, I cursed myself for not having any ninja skills. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was staring straight ahead, face set.

"How long have I been out?" I asked. It was a pretty stupid question, seeing as dusk has set in, and the battle was quite obviously OVER with.

"I'm not sure," he said. "Last I saw you, you were still conscious. Perhaps an hour or so, perhaps longer."

"Uh, yeah, about earlier…" I said awkwardly. "I just wanted to say… Thanks for saving my life."

He was silent for a moment. "Now we're even," he finally said.

My whole body went cold. I knew these words to be a flat out lie. I'd broken his heart – for that, we would never be even.

Neither of us said a word until we reached the gate that led into the city. There, I spotted Legolas. His face paled when he saw me, and he rushed over.

"What happened?" he demanded, not of me, but of Boromir.

"Warg," I said before Boromir could open his mouth.

"We need to get you to the Halls of Healing," Legolas said.

I looked up at Boromir. "You can put me down now," I said. "I think I can stand."

He did not protest like the old Boromir would have, but instead put me down. I managed to stand on my own for a few seconds, then began to wobble, and was only saved from falling by Legolas's quick reflexes.

"I think not," Legolas said, his face emotionless, but his eyes twinkling with laughter. He turned to Boromir. "I will take her from here," he said. Boromir nodded, then turned and left.

"Don't you dare try to carry me," I warned Legolas as soon as Boromir was out of sight.

The Elf laughed. "I wouldn't dare try," he said.

We began to walk, his hands clutched tight around my shoulders. I was still dizzy, but I tried not to show it. Glancing around, I saw destruction everywhere. Whole chunks of buildings were missing, small fires still burned here and there, and bodies lay strewn around, some pushed to the sides of the road to create a path.

"You do not have such a good time with wargs," Legolas commented after a minute or so of walking.

"No shit," I huffed, wishing that the world would stop moving.

We didn't speak until we reached the Halls of Healing. Legolas handed me off to a woman, about fifty by the looks of her, who looked absolutely appalled by my appearance. "You're a girl," she said, looking me up and down.

Legolas shot me a look that said 'be nice.' "Yes," I said through gritted teeth.

"Well, what on earth happened to you?" she said. "I have seen no other civilian hurt as badly as yourself."

I let out a low growl. "Lady Jana is a warrior," Legolas said quickly. "She has fought many battles with us."

"Oh," she said, raising her eyebrows. "I was not aware that there were female warriors."

"Look, lady, are you gonna fix me up or not?" I snapped.

"Jana, hush," Legolas said, glaring at me.

"I'll need to clean this," the woman said, peering at my shoulder. "And it could do with some stitches."

"Did you just say _stitches_?" I asked.

She sent me a funny look. "Yes."

"Oh, no. Hell no," I said. "There is no blood way you're getting stitches into me."

"Stop arguing," Legolas said. It was obvious that he was getting frustrated. "You need stitches."

"Oh, no, if the girl doesn't want stitches, I won't stitch it up," the woman said tersely.

"Really?" I said.

"No, we'll just let it fester and stay open, and then there's the chance it'll become infected, and then you might lose the entire arm."

I stared at her, and she stared back. "Fine!" I said, throwing my hands up in surrender. She nodded, and began to ready a cloth to clean the wound out with.

"Do not fight her," Legolas warned, leaning in and speaking quietly. "There has been enough bloodshed already today. I do not fancy cleaning up a mess in a place of healing." He patted my non-mangled shoulder, then left.

I blew out a breath, then hopped up onto one of the beds. I woman came over and ripped my shirt around the shoulder in order to get at the wound. Then she started patting it with the wet cloth.

"Ow, Damnit, that hurts," I said through clenched teeth.

She ignored me. When she was satisfied that the wound had been cleaned enough, she put the cloth down and picked up a needle and some string-like material. I closed my eyes as she threaded the needle. I felt something sharp poke into my skin. I ventured a look, and peered down at my shoulder to see the needle sticking out of my skin. Then I blacked out.


	49. DebbieDowner Wizards and Crackpot Plans

**Author's Notes: Avast! Thar be an update! Ok, enough with the Pirate talk, and… enter apologies! I'm so, SO sorry about the gap between updates… again. I've been wicked busy lately, but, as you can obviously tell, I'm on summer break, so there might be slightly more time to write. Anyway, here you go! Enjoy! **

**Chapter 49:**

Blood. Blood was everywhere. It was like my vision was tinted red.

Around me, I could sense that the battle was still going on, but I was only focused on the pale, lifeless Hobbit I had clutched in my hands. I couldn't hear the rest of the battle – the only noise I heard was the sound of my own screams…

111

"Jana! Jana!"

I sat bolt upright, my heart pounding and my eyes wide. I could still hear the screams – they seemed to be echoing around the chamber. After a second, I realized that they were in fact echoing, and that _I_ was the one screaming. I shut my mouth.

"Are you alright?" I turned to see Pippin sitting next to my bed. He was inching forward cautiously, both hands slightly raised, as if afraid that I might attack him.

"Merry!" I said, my eyes darting wildly around the room. "Where's Merry? Is he alive?" My voice was rising in hysteria as I spoke.

"He's alright," Pippin said quickly. "He'll be alright." He was trying to sound confident, but I could see in his eyes that he was scared.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed. "I need to see him."

Pippin stepped in front of me. "No," he said forcefully. "The Healer said not to let you move."

"I need to see Merry," I repeated.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Pippin said.

I glared at him. Panic mode was in full swing now. "Pippin, if you don't move, I swear to God…" Pippin looked at me for another second, then the frightened Hobbit stepped aside.

I jumped down off the bed. I was dizzy, and I knew that standing wasn't the best idea, but I was scared, and scared people are highly irrational. I tottled my way across the room, stumbling with every step, until I reached the bed where Merry was lying. He didn't look good at all. His lip was split open, and a dark bruise was forming on his forehead. As I watched him, he whimpered in his sleep and shifted slightly, but didn't wake up.

After a few more seconds of watching the sleeping Hobbit, my shaky legs gave out from under me, and I collapsed to the floor, falling on my shoulder, and admitting a long stream of curses, which earned many disapproving looks from several people in the room. In the next second, I heard footsteps behind me, and I felt someone lift me up. I turned my head to find that it was Aragorn who was holding me.

"Put me down," I said crossly.

He ignored me, and instead turned his attention to Pippin. "I thought you had orders not to let her move," he said.

"I tried to stop her," Pippin said, staring down at the floor. "But she said she needed to see Merry…" He trailed off.

Aragorn sighed, and brought me back to my bed. "Go back to sleep," he said. "You need your rest."

"But – "

"Jana, sleep, or I will knock you out myself."

Through all my time spent with Aragorn, even at my post annoying points, he had never threatened me before. I knew I was treading in dangerous waters now, so I kept my mouth shut and nodded. He looked at me for another second, then turned and left. I rolled over and looked toward where Pippin had been, but he was gone too.

I rolled back over and stared up at the high ceiling, a funny feeling in my stomach.

111

When I opened my eyes again, it was early morning. I groaned, and pushed myself up with my good arm. Little black dots clouded my vision, and I began to wobble.

"Not so fast there, Lass," came a gruff voice from next to me. I turned to see Gimli sitting beside my bed. "You've been through quite a lot, the Elf tells me."

"You've got to get me out of here," I said, looking seriously at the Dwarf.

Gimli shrugged. "If you insist," he said.

I swung my legs over the side of my bed, and Gimli helped me to my feet, taking care not to touch my bandaged shoulder, which was still throbbing just as much as it had been the day before. We shuffled out of the room together, his hand hovering behind my back to catch me, if need be.

He steered me out of the room and into the hall. The stone felt cold on my bare feet. After a minute or so more of shuffling, we reached the main hall, where we found, much to my surprise, almost everyone gathered, and, more importantly, intact. Aragorn was pacing up and down; Legolas stood calmly off to the side, his hands clasped behind his back; Eomer stood a few feet away from the Elf, with dark circles under his eyes, undoubtedly a result of his angst over his uncle's death and Eowyn's near-death; Boromir stood next to Eomer, looking sour; Pippin and a now conscious Merry both sat at the table; and Gandalf stood near by, leaning on his staff, and gazing at the far wall, as if something was holding his acute attention there.

Gimli deposited me on the bench next to Merry, then made his way up the steps to Aragorn's vacant throne, plopped himself down there, and pulled out his pipe and lit it. I turned to Merry. "How you doin'?" I asked.

He smiled weakly at me. "Better," he said.

But before either of us could say anything more, Gandalf spoke. "Frodo has passed beyond my sight," the Wizard said. "The darkness is deepening."

"If Sauron had the Ring we would know it," Aragorn said calmly.

"He has suffered a defeat, yes," Gandalf countered, "but behind the wall of Mordor resides another army."

"Let him stay there, let him rot!" Gimli growled. "Why should we care?"

"Because," Gandalf said grudgingly, in the tone he usually reserved for me, "ten-thousand Orcs now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom." He paused, then shook his head. "I've sent him to his doom…"

"No," Aragorn said sharply. "There's still hope for Frodo. He needs time, and safe passage across the plains." He looked up, that 'I-have-a-plan' look in his eyes. "We can give him that."

"How?" Gimli said.

"Draw out Sauron's armies; empty his lands," Aragorn explained. "The we gather our full strength and march on the Black Gate."

There was silence. "That's insane!" I said. Everyone ignored me.

"We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms," Eomer said.

"Not for us, but we can give Frodo a chance if we keep Sauron's Eye fixed on us," Aragorn said. "Keep him blind to all else that moves."

"A diversion," Legolas said, a small smile creeping onto his face. I shook my head. I couldn't believe how recklessly stupid these people were.

"Certainty of death," Gimli said, "small chance of survival… What are we waiting for?"

"Sauron will suspect a trap; he will not take the bait," Gandalf said.

"Way to be a Debbie-Downer," I grumbled.

"No, I think he will," Aragorn said.


End file.
